Re: beginning to think its all me.
If my husband said that to me in front of my parents I would have been mortified, humiliated and angry for a very long time .
That being said ; you need to learn to be happy with yourself . My mother always told me that there are only two things in life that should matter ; sabr and shukar. If we learn to do them we will always be happy and content.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
^ arzi, i thought doctors are usually more tending towards ppl having hard time. What yours being unreasonably harsh towards her will do her any good. Lucy and sadia , you guys have given better advice. I sometimes wonder what if a certain mentally messedup person takes the bashing on a certain random forum way too seriously and God forbid further messes up his life.
I don't think arzi is being unreasonably harsh on nadz. And if I can speak on behalf of arzi, arzi is posting here as herself and not as a doctor.
If the protocols allowed it, doctors and other professionals would be more straight to the point to certain patients/people, instead of keeping that big smile.
Anyways, solely judging from nadz posts from start till now, nadz does not seem to be mentally messed up, but merely spoilt. Used to do things her way. And nobody from her immediate family (parents for example) to give her a piece of their mind.
A lot of times people just need a reality check and need to be shaken back into their senses. Be straight to the point. Call a spade a spade. This approach makes them realize that they are wrong at times and need to change themselves, and that they need to tackle iussues differently henceforth.
If you are just going to justify their actions by finding excuses as to why they must have behaved a certain rude way, you are only encouraging them to do it again and again.
By putting them down as a sort of a victim you only reinforce that behavior. As you can see there is a pattern in nadz posts.
Nadz does not want to hear advice. She wants to hear that she didnt do anything wrong. Even when she says that it was her fault, the next moment she will ask if she was at fault? In hope someone will say 'no, you werent'.
Nadz, put your ego aside and count your blessings. Your husband is a gem. A one in a million, mashAllah. So stop testing how far you can go. Even very very nice people have their limits.
You embarrassed him in fron of his mother. He could have replied to you in a same tone right there, but he didn't because the man has class and dignity. And now you wonder why he is angry?! He has all rights to be angry. If there is one person in this world that has a legit right to be angry and pissed off it's him.
So listen to everyone, and try to change your attitude. Not just for your own peace, but also for your husband. He deserves way more better. And for your daughters. You don't want to create nadzillas.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
well.. that took a while.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
Thanks
So yeah after reading all the advice I did say sorry.so ur advice does.indeed.work.
Hurrah we go.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
^^^This.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
nadz, why don't you just chill out. :) Like watch a movie or something instead of overthinking things.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
I don't think arzi is being unreasonably harsh on nadz. And if I can speak on behalf of arzi, arzi is posting here as herself and not as a doctor.
If the protocols allowed it, doctors and other professionals would be more straight to the point to certain patients/people, instead of keeping that big smile.
Anyways, solely judging from nadz posts from start till now, nadz does not seem to be mentally messed up, but merely spoilt. Used to do things her way. And nobody from her immediate family (parents for example) to give her a piece of their mind.
A lot of times people just need a reality check and need to be shaken back into their senses. Be straight to the point. Call a spade a spade. This approach makes them realize that they are wrong at times and need to change themselves, and that they need to tackle iussues differently henceforth.
If you are just going to justify their actions by finding excuses as to why they must have behaved a certain rude way, you are only encouraging them to do it again and again. By putting them down as a sort of a victim you only reinforce that behavior. As you can see there is a pattern in nadz posts.
Nadz does not want to hear advice. She wants to hear that she didnt do anything wrong. Even when she says that it was her fault, the next moment she will ask if she was at fault? In hope someone will say 'no, you werent'.
Nadz, put your ego aside and count your blessings. Your husband is a gem. A one in a million, mashAllah. So stop testing how far you can go. Even very very nice people have their limits. You embarrassed him in fron of his mother. He could have replied to you in a same tone right there, but he didn't because the man has class and dignity. And now you wonder why he is angry?! He has all rights to be angry. If there is one person in this world that has a legit right to be angry and pissed off it's him.
So listen to everyone, and try to change your attitude. Not just for your own peace, but also for your husband. He deserves way more better. And for your daughters. You don't want to create nadzillas.
Lmaoo @ nadzillas.
But yhh I think you should take this advice. Man you seem sooo lucky to have such a nice and patient hubby like yours.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
Thanks So yeah after reading all the advic:e I did say sorry.so ur advice does.indeed.work.
Hurrah we go.
Awww well done!!! Sometimes swollowing our pride and just saying sorry really does do the trick.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
It looks like GS is very helpful to OP. I don't know whether I would be able to live in another country if I was raised in another part of the world. GS defo helps me sort things out in my mind too.