Re: beginning to think its all me.
I have no idea why I'm.insecure.its utterly mad. If someone does everything for me yet one day will not do something I ask or say I get the hump.its mad but its.me
Also yes I said Tum to husband but he also says tum to me.
What would your spouse do if u did the same. ** I would rather he ask.me.nicely or tell me nicely.he thought.it was rude rather than point his finger at me.and and talk down to.me**
when is that going to apply to you and your attitude?
Re: beginning to think its all me.
Are you getting enough time for yourself? Being in the house day in and day out, surrounded by the same people and same conversations can get very trying. You tend to become bitter and blow things out of proportion by over analyzing everything.. it happens to me when I've been stuck at home for too long. Carve out some time for yourself every day. Go for a walk, get some exercise, take up a hobby. I think some "me" time will make you a lot happier.
beginning to think its all me.
Nadz, I’ve told you this before, as have many, many others: you need to learn to love yourself first. Until you to truly are at peace with your life, your attitude towards others will never change or improve.
You need to come to terms with the source of your bitterness, resentment, negativity, insecurities…whatever it is…and then let.it.go.
Until you do that wholeheartedly, nothing is going to change.
And on a side note..yes, you were extremely rude for no reason what so ever..I’m sure your husband has tired of this behavior..why are you ulta getting upset at him for talking down to you? Didn’t you do the same? 
You catch more flies with honey…try changing your attitude and the way you react and see how it in turn changes him 
Re: beginning to think its all me.
How???
How to love oneself?
I'm.bitter yes
Whenever he asks me to make him roti or anything I feel.like a burst of ego to say no.
I don't know how to love myself or others. I'm.not very loving. I can hate instantly.
So how?
I do.get time for myself but maybe not the same.thing as was in uk.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
How???
How to love oneself?
I'm.bitter yes Whenever he asks me to make him roti or anything I feel.like a burst of ego to say no. I don't know how to love myself or others. I'm.not very loving. I can hate instantly.
So how?
I do.get time for myself but maybe not the same.thing as was in uk.
Maybe you and hubby should start discussing and future plans to maybe move back here then?
And as for the roti thing, I guess there comes a point when you just want to say "oh go make it yourself then" but that's really not the right nor the nicest attitude to have. Try thinking more about the things that he does for you without you having to ask. That may put things into perspective for you.
Ps. Sorry if I'm not making sense lol, havnt read half the other posts, just going by the last one :)
Re: beginning to think its all me.
How???
How to love oneself?
I'm.bitter yes Whenever he asks me to make him roti or anything I feel.like a burst of ego to say no. I don't know how to love myself or others. I'm.not very loving. I can hate instantly.
So how?
I do.get time for myself but maybe not the same.thing as was in uk.
No one here is able to help you. You need to see a professional. Best wishes.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
^ arzi, i thought doctors are usually more tending towards ppl having hard time. What yours being unreasonably harsh towards her will do her any good. Lucy and sadia , you guys have given better advice. I sometimes wonder what if a certain mentally messedup person takes the bashing on a certain random forum way too seriously and God forbid further messes up his life.
beginning to think its all me.
Nadz if you already know you have issues then only you are also the only to be able to change that. If you can't get help where you are, do some research online to help you find ways to exert your energy into something positive. Buy a book etc. Also, you could change things around in your routine to make life easier for you, just going off of the roti example like doing all of the weeks cooking earlier on in the week and putting it all away to be warmed up when needed, even roti. So if your family is requesting something and your tired or whatever all you have to do is grab things from the fridge or they could even do it without much complaining. Like only you have control over your happiness. I firmly believe happiness is a choice. You live in Pak now, if your still comparing your old lifestyle to your new one, thats not really doing much for you. This is your reality and it doesn't have to be all bad but you consistently put all your energy into being angry. Well you know what, it's not going to get better. Go and find someone to talk to like a psychologist to help let off some steam or do your own homework about ways to get help to get out of your hole. You complain about all of the same things over and over again and your in the exact same spot you always have been and you don't seem any happier. GS will not help you get over your problems, you need to find out how to maintain a happier lifestyle on your own research and effort. You can't change your husband or any other member of his family and if you chose to stay with him and in his family you better do something about it soon because Im surprised your children aren't motivation enough to get yourself out of your destructive state of mind. Only you have control over your actions regardless of whose right or wrong, you can't change your unideal situation but you can change the way you live with everything you have been given. The love of your family should be reason enough. If you know you want help, then find it. You have the Internet which can be a good resource and starting point, self help books, there's always something you can do, it's a matter of if your willing to put in the work to do so. Marriage is not easy and takes a lot of work even for two people who get along so you just need to find what works for you guys.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
^ arzi, i thought doctors are usually more tending towards ppl having hard time. What yours being unreasonably harsh towards her will do her any good. Lucy and sadia , you guys have given better advice. I sometimes wonder what if a certain mentally messedup person takes the bashing on a certain random forum way too seriously and God forbid further messes up his life.
Then I guess you've not met enough doctors.
I don't think I'm being harsh on Nadz at all. Nadz is not one of those who read the long paragraph of sincere advice and ponder about them. Nope, she reads what she wants and this is not the first time she's venting about her husband and inlaws. I've given her my honest advice and suggestions. I think she needs professional help. What's harsh about that? You really think a bunch of strangers on GS are able to give her qualified help? And next time there's no need to go all personal on me, because my advice is for someone who opened this thread and asked for it. If she doesn't want it, she can always ignore it. You may also ignore it. It's the internet, that's how it works. :)
Re: beginning to think its all me.
If nadz wanted help this would not be on since 2009. I dont understand ppl bother it anymore. :/
Re: beginning to think its all me.
Then I guess you've not met enough doctors.
I don't think I'm being harsh on Nadz at all. Nadz is not one of those who read the long paragraph of sincere advice and ponder about them. Nope, she reads what she wants and this is not the first time she's venting about her husband and inlaws. I've given her my honest advice and suggestions. I think she needs professional help. What's harsh about that? You really think a bunch of strangers on GS are able to give her qualified help? And next time there's no need to go all personal on me, because my advice is for someone who opened this thread and asked for it. If she doesn't want it, she can always ignore it. You may also ignore it. It's the internet, that's how it works. :)
Meethi beti never tried to get personal with u as theres no need to. you can perceive things as u wish to. Your post already speaks volumes that i would further care to argue. Ok nadz back to your thread topic.
Can someone please email Nadz that her MIL has hacked into her account and posted this thread. Please do it asap, it's very disturbing to read a confession thread coming from nadz.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
This is very true in my experience. I’ve also seen this point reiterated in various books (7 Habits). It’s astounding how your attitude affects your perception, the things that come your way, and how others react to you.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
How???
How to love oneself?
I'm.bitter yes Whenever he asks me to make him roti or anything I feel.like a burst of ego to say no. I don't know how to love myself or others. I'm.not very loving. I can hate instantly.
So how?
I do.get time for myself but maybe not the same.thing as was in uk.
I dunno, Nadz. I may be wrong, but I don't think your problem is that you are lacking in self-love. On the contrary, it appears that you love yourself too much...especially if you want it to be all about you all of the time.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
what does kaamwali think of all this?
Isn't kaamwali who wash panties, a death?
Re: beginning to think its all me.
nadz, make me a sammich
too soon? 
You’ve got some great advice in this thread and going back a number of years.
Remember you’ve got two beautiful and healthy kids, a husband who loves you and looks after you. The rest is noise. Make peace with it and turn down the volume.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
Isn't kaamwali who wash panties, a death?
I thought kaamwali refused to wash the panties. So, it would be her death. It's a wonder she's still alive...much less employed.
Re: beginning to think its all me.
Nadz I think all ur resentment just boils down to not living in the UK and how u r waiting for ur real true happy life to begin once u move there. It's this frame of mind and resentment that keeps boiling over and showing as small and big blow ups in ur interaction with ur hubby and ur in laws. The key to ur happiness is to first of all somehow magically make peace with the fact that u might never live there long term. And u might be surprised after a few years that it might not bother u so much and u might really think of this as home (maybe in some alternate universe). And how did I come up with all this, I am in the same boat as u (wanting to live somewhere else and waiting for my life to begin).
You seriously need to grow up and to some degree you have because you see the err of your ways. You should apologize because how you said it was seriously rude and thank your lucky stars you married a man who actually loves you enough to just walk away from a situation that could have been blown into something bigger.