Re: Bed!!!
And this is why you don't marry a 25 yr old guy.
do you think a 3540 yr old mama boy weirdos you meet won't have any issues like this? Its a hit or miss. Nothing to do with age
Re: Bed!!!
Is your husband paying for the furniture. If not, you get what you get and don't throw a fit.
Please read above.. Im ready to pay. My family insists we pay. But mil insists she pays and I buy something cheap. ( My mil buys her own stuff from good places always always)
Re: Bed!!!
I don't meet that many 35-40 yr old guys that have their moms this involved in their life that they're choosing bedroom furniture for their sons.
Just sad.
Re: Bed!!!
unless it's heirloom who keeps the same bed for "a few decades"????
You keep it for decades and it becomes a heirloom.
Re: Bed!!!
As long a u r under the inlays roof, it is their rules. If you don't like the rules, you need to move out.
Even if ur parents want to pay for a 2 lakh bed for u, u should not accept it. You mil has offered 60k. Buy it. Use it while u r under their roof. Leave it behind (for Jethlanis siestas) when u leave for ur own apartment.
Be an adult. Save money so u can have independence down the road when u can afford to move out.
The 60000 u saved now will grow to 2k in say 8 years. SA e more such that in 5 years u will have the furniture u want. And u will like it. Cause it came from ur hard work. Not form ur parents.
Re: Bed!!!
Please read above.. Im ready to pay. My family insists we pay. But mil insists she pays and I buy something cheap. ( My mil buys her own stuff from good places always always)
if she buys the best quality stuff herself it means she is aware of the quality issues that comes with cheap products then why is she so insistent to get cheaply priced furniture for you? Anyhow, i would suggest that just accept it for now, it wont last you more than a year and then you can get the bed set of your own choice.
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I hope and wish that when he's 35 or 40 she won't be this involved. Right now he's 25. Maybe that's the reason.
For now I'm keeping quiet and going to meet someone who makes good quality beds and is reasonable. But since he's making solid wood he won't be as cheap as my mil wants.
I'm thinking it's best if i lay low on the topic not discuss it much and then let them know that my parents insisted on getting it made and have made it.
I don't see myself moving out of that house anytime soon. Unless we move abroad so that saving seems pointless to me.. Im sure she's aware of what she's doing deliberately or by my jethanis instructions because the love these days between them is blooming.
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I mean there's a limit to all of it. Telling me not to get chairs made or a dressing table. I remember telling her over the years how much I want a beautiful dresser since I love make up.
Re: Bed!!!
I mean there's a limit to all of it. Telling me not to get chairs made or a dressing table. I remember telling her over the years how much I want a beautiful dresser since I love make up.
So why not just get them once the bed gets finalised. They can't stop you or your furniture. Just tell them your parents couldn't be stopped or whatever in the way desis do. Act like a bimbo, play dumb, and get that furniture in your room.
Re: Bed!!!
OH my god - all these issues even before marriage.
I'd hang on a second and reconsider things.
Does you MIL not want you two to get married? (I think I remember you mentioned this is a love marriage)
Re: Bed!!!
Yeah she does want that I get married Hut I think she just wants to make this time hell for me.
Re: Bed!!!
Yeah she does want that I get married Hut I think she just wants to make this time hell for me.
Why would a normal, well-adjusted person do that to anyone else? Are you sure you're not reading too much into this? Weddings are usually really stressful to organize and plan; you should try to find the good in everything. Even if your MIL isn't as good to you as she was to your SIL, you're still a lot better off than some other girls. You have a loving husband and a supportive parents.
Try to stay happy and not overthink things. Who knows? Maybe she just didn't have time to do enough research and just sent you the first link she found without finding out a whole lot about the quality of the furniture. Try sending her some pictures of stuff you like and ask her for her opinion. I found that my MIL really appreciated it when I asked her opinion. And it wasn't a big deal because I often ask my mom or sisters for their opinion even on little things like, and that made my MIL feel more included in my life/decisions.
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Yeah she does want that I get married Hut I think she just wants to make this time hell for me.
It's very easy to fall into this sort of thinking.....and it leads to all sorts of other assumptions.
Save yourself and your relationships a lot of trouble by focusing on what's important. Look for the path of least resistance right now. You don't need more battles to fight.
Re: Bed!!!
Nadz???
Re: Bed!!!
Why would a normal, well-adjusted person do that to anyone else? Are you sure you're not reading too much into this? Weddings are usually really stressful to organize and plan; you should try to find the good in everything. Even if your MIL isn't as good to you as she was to your SIL, you're still a lot better off than some other girls. You have a loving husband and a supportive parents. Try to stay happy and not overthink things. Who knows? Maybe she just didn't have time to do enough research and just sent you the first link she found without finding out a whole lot about the quality of the furniture. Try sending her some pictures of stuff you like and ask her for her opinion. I found that my MIL really appreciated it when I asked her opinion. And it wasn't a big deal because I often ask my mom or sisters for their opinion even on little things like, and that made my MIL feel more included in my life/decisions.
Yes that could be a possibility. I've been very insecure due to my sil.. And maybe I'm just reading too much into it. I will post with updates :)
I've figured it's best to have no contact with spouse before marriage. Avoids unnecessary fights. We r both so stressed out.
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Last night I told my husband I will get chairs made. He said his mom specifically said no chairs because the room had a three seater sofa and a one seater.. And he said no way don't get it made there's no other place in the house to keep them.. So I guess it's a no...
Re: Bed!!!
Last night I told my husband I will get chairs made. He said his mom specifically said no chairs because the room had a three seater sofa and a one seater.. And he said no way don't get it made there's no other place in the house to keep them.. So I guess it's a no...
Well then there you go. If your husband is not going to support your wishes.....then don't expect support from MIL either.
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Well then there you go. If your husband is not going to support your wishes.....then don't expect support from MIL either.
How do I get my husbands support? My mil doesn't want me to change the curtains either. I spoke to my husband a while back and he said he spoke to his mom and she's saying she got everything changed quite expensive.. So don't change.. I calmly said ok.. But I'll change after I'm there in 2-3 months. He said yes you will change then.
This is the reason why marriage sucks. :) in my house I don't have to ask anyone for anything before doing. I tell them and parents agree...
Re: Bed!!!
How do I get my husbands support? My mil doesn't want me to change the curtains either. I spoke to my husband a while back and he said he spoke to his mom and she's saying she got everything changed quite expensive.. So don't change.. I calmly said ok.. But I'll change after I'm there in 2-3 months. He said yes you will change then. This is the reason why marriage sucks. :) in my house I don't have to ask anyone for anything before doing. I tell them and parents agree...
Well this was a love marriage so you had plenty of time to get to know your husband and find out about his family. Did you two talk about living arrangements after the wedding? Did you tell him about your expectations and did he agree? Also, is this a permanent move? Meaning did you and husband agree that you will live with your in-laws permanently OR has he agreed to move out after a certain amount of time?
Re: Bed!!!
Surprised no one put you in your place yet..you're seriously going to create issues and drama this early in your marriage over a piece of furniture? Haha so ridiculous. What is wrong with you girls these days...I feel sorry for your husband, poor guy married a materialistic self entitled princess who is going to incessently bicker and create havoc over the type of wood of a free gift, poor guy made a mistake that too at such an early age..bechara lol. I know it's difficult for a girl to live in someone else's house after marriage, I understand that, but you do realize youre living in their house and they're paying for the furniture?? And you want them to buy you the most expensive brand name furniture..yeah sorry that's not how it works, princess..do you give your own parents the most expensive gifts every time while shopping for your gucci and prada purses, MIL has a right to spend her money on her self however she wishes, you wanting her to buy you expensive stuff too is very unreasonable, that expectation you should have of your husband and MAYBE your parents, that's it, but definitely not in laws or even own siblings, stop the jealousy...how about you refuse the gift and spend your own money (ie your parents money) to buy whatever bed you want or move out and get your own house so that you can do whatever you want to the house..unless you plan on sleeping in the bed all by yourself which I wouldnt be surprised from your comments you do realize that theyre buying that bed for their son as well so why are you taking it so personally as though it's a slap on your face, their own son will be using that bed also...just appreciate the gesture and stop the sense of entitlement, it's going to destroy your marriage. Focus on more important things in life and foster your relationship with your husband and build that relationship instead of looking for things to fight over. It's such a waste of time and so unnecessary. Change your destructive mindset because you're either going to be miserable for rest of your life over nonsense issues and/or end up divorced. Sorry for being a bit harsh, but someone had to put you in your place and stop you because youre making some huge marriage-destroying mistakes and I logged back into my account after several months just to do so. Carry on..