lost i seriously believe jab pyar kia to darna kia... There is no rule that guy has to admit it first i like my sultana rahi's attitude. " i like you dude and do you like me?"
but lost i dont think 10 months is enough. think about everything. does the girl feel comfortable having him sit on the dinner table with her family. can she get along with his family, would he stand up for her in front of parents. Liking someone isnt the only thing that matters. Does the girl feels he can stand by her for rest of her life. Can she see having kids with him and what not?
I just think its too soon. its always good to give something like this a little more time.
But babes if girl feels this guy is the world for her. She also feels comfortable around him plus the family. Then she should jump in that beautiful ocean of love and enjoy every moment of it.
:~)
------------------------------ after reading your second response
Since the guy is white. You must talk to your parents before jumping in to any of this. I see people getting married every day without their parents wishes. Believe me when i say this that they don;t live happy at all. Yeah they do live with a broken heart for rest of their lives.
flat out asking "would u go out with me" is tacky...i think one strong hint cud be the girl asking if the guy has any sig. other and if not then what r his plans...given the background, if the guy is smart he shud be able to pick these hints up..
It's been 10 months, they flirt, hang out all the time...in my opinion, if he was interested in being with her rite now, he wud have said something about it by now...but who knows, maybe he is the type of person who needs even more time to figure out if he's into her. Plus, his friends always assuming that they r a couple...but then he says, no we r just friends...i wud think there were plenty of good moments were he cud have told her, "u know, y don't we try being more than friends, since everyone thinks we r anyway"...
Then again, some guys r shy too...so i duno...she knows him better...so she probably has an idea whether he is shy and/or doesnt know if he wants to be with me rite now...or, no way he is really open with me and wud have asked me by now. Obviously there have been lots of hints floating around...but honestly, i think he wud have taken a step by now if that's how he felt...and u know, sometimes it's not worth messing up a good friendship...so it's definately something to think about...good luck to "this girl" hehe :)
If you want somthing bad enough, you'll fight for it. I hate mind games. You like him? You tell him, if he doesnt feel the same/isnt man enough to hack an assertive female making the first move....his loss.
Most likely. But the thing is that there is not much information regarding guy’s nature in original post. He may be an expressive person. If he is, then his lack of initiation is a strong signal. There are too many ifs and buts.
So for this girl, the daring route would be to tell him. It might actually work. And safer one would be to wait and confirm her feelings to herself for the time being. Things might happen.
Thank you sooo much for all the helpful replies. :)
Let me clear up one thing.....the girl has no intention of getting married anytime soon. She just started a awesome new job, and will be starting her MBA next August. She has absolutely no plans for marriage before she finishes her MBA and her parents are perfectly fine with it. So the girl herself is not looking to get married for at least the next 3 years and there's not family pressure for marriage.
Obviously their mutual friends(which are technically HIS friends) already think they should be dating. The girl doesn't want to directly ask any of them for help b/c she's a private person and just doesn't want too many people(especially people who both of them see almost daily) involved in this.
The guy has the "joker" personality. He is always joking around. Although he has always been there for her when she needed someone to listen to her or a shoulder to cry on......and through some serious conversations they've had, she has found out that he has been hurt in his last relationship. His last relationship ended almost 2 years ago.
Anyway, ok, so if she is going to just bring this up and talk to him about this, how exactly does she do it? Does she directly ask him "would you like to go on a date with me"? Or does she ask him one day while they're hanging out something like "Hypothetically, would you ever go out with me if I asked you out"? I mean, that should definately give him a HUGE hint right? What exactly does she say?
^ And who gives u the right to decide when someone is kafir or not? Lost didn’t mention anything abt the girl’s religion and don’t assume that Lost herself is a kaffir..
Tell her not to ask him out. Ever. This is not the way dating should go. I don’t know whether that guy is interested in her the way she is. I just read about she likes this about him that about him? Does he wants the same thing??
Tell that girl to leave the guy for 30-60 days. Be formal and friendly as possible. During that time if the guy comes to her and says things like ‘Where have you been?’ ‘I missed you so much’. His tone and body language will say the truth. This will show whether he missed her or not. Or may be he’ll find ‘the feelings’.
Otherwise:
-He is not interested.
-Doesn’t see her in the same light.
Wants to be just friends.
-Is not interested in new relationship. Take your pick.
BTW, most of the girls over here who are suggesting ‘asking out’. Are you fo real??? I am not surprised though
And what’s wrong with asking a guy out? If you like what you like, why don’t u go after it? If they give clear signs that tey’re not interseted, fine drop it, but don’t think … aghh iim frustrated..
To Sara:
Please don’t waste your time on people like XYZ. It’s obviously a fake ID and it was obviously created for the sole purpose of “causing trouble”. If I thought that religion played any part at all in this particular situation I would’ve definately mentioned it. You know the thing that always surprises me…is that people assume that just b/c a person is “white”, he or she is not Muslim.
Anyway, as far as my own religion is concerned, I don’t need to justify or prove anything regarding my beliefs to anyone. I don’t have the right to judge whether or not anyone else is Muslim, and I don’t believe that anyone else can judge whether or not I’m Muslim. The only one who has that power is Allah.
How do you think dating should be then? Isn’t the way to find out for sure whether or not he wants the same thing is by asking him directly?
As far as the idea of leaving him for 30 days…that won’t work. Since they’ve met, if the girl doesn’t call the guy for like 2 days, then he calls her and asks her “what’s up”. When Hurricane Rita was happening, the guy INSISTED that she go and stay with him at his mom’s house. He told her outright that he didn’t want her staying alone at her apartment. Even this Christmas weekend, he asked her what her plans were. She told him she was going to visit her parents for the weekend. He told her that if she didn’t have any plans, then he wanted her to go spend the weekend with his family because he didn’t want her being alone. There’s no doubt that this guy cares about her A LOT and enjoys spending time with her. The only question is whether or not he cares about her as more than a friend.
One thing is that the girl did mention to the guy before that she has never dated any non-desi guys. So there is a slight chance that maybe IF he does like her, he’s MIGHT be thinking she won’t date him b/c of his skin color.
Any other suggestion as to what EXACTLY she should say to him?
Its cool with me if she wants to ask the guy out. I just know that when a girl does that she kind of looses her charm. Guys like to chase girls and girls like to be catched. That's the normal way to approach it but if she REALLY REALLY wants it. I would say simply ask him that she would like them to spent some time alone. Like go to movies or dinner together. Something casual. I think he'll be up for that but tell her not to pressure him at all because if she got rejected or he reacts differently. There'll be a Hurricane Rita in her apartment for sure.
If you like what you like, why don’t u go after it? If they give clear signs that tey’re not interseted, fine drop it, but don’t think … aghh iim frustrated.. 