Become More Than Friends?

Lifestyle Relationships
1

OK, here’s the scenario:
2 people(Girl mid 20’s, guy around 32) have known each other for about 10 months. They’re veeery good friends, hang out almost on a daily basis…

They both flirt with each other a lot. Now the girl is 99.9% sure that the guy likes her just b/c of little hints here and there that he’s dropped. Lately the girl has started liking him a lot too. She’s had some pretty bad experiences with guys and so even though she likes this guy a lot, she’s terrified of getting hurt.

Now ideally, she would like for him to ask her out on a “date” or at least bring up the topic of them being more than friends. But it doesn’t look like that’s happening anytime soon. At this point if he were interested in being more than friends, she’s say “yes” in a second.

Now, keeping in mind this girl is a little shy when it comes to this, what does she do? Does she just come right out and ask him if he’s like to go on a “date” with her? Keep in mind these two have been good friends for about 10 months and go out to dinners/lunches on a regular basis but as “friends”. Does she drop a obvious “hint” to him that she likes him for sure? If so, then how does she drop the obvious “hint”?

I would really appreciate serious, helpful replies with this problem. If any of you guys are willing to let me know what you’d prefer if you were the “guy” in this situation, heck I’d like that even more.

Thanks.

2

Re: Become More Than Friends?

:teary1: :teary2:

Nadia Khan Show
3

Re: Become More Than Friends?

:(

4

Re: Become More Than Friends?

I’m very sorry to hear about your bad experience. :frowning: That’s another thing this girlt is afraid of too. Even though she’s 99.9% sure he likes her, what “IF” she really misread the signals.

And yea, after knowing this guy for 10 months, she realizes that he really is a great guy, and she doesn’t want to spend the rest of her life wondering “what if?”.

What exactly does she say??? They’re both going out of town this weekend and the next time they “hang out” will most likely be next Tuesday. What does she say? How does she bring it up? Does she say “it” over the phone or in person? :frowning:

5

Re: Become More Than Friends?

It can be 99.999999 percent sure, but when it comes to mthings like this, that 1.111111111 percent can be awfully nerve wracking.

If she does decide to bring it up, it should be in person. I’m much more comfrotable saying stuff online , on the fone/in person I stutter and blush and stumble over words and there’s awlays teh chance im gonna start :teary2: Errr yeah … In person takes a lot more courage I think.

This is my own bad exp talking but is she absolutely sure taht there’s no one else, that he’s no tmarried, or engaged or have his eye on someone else?

6

Re: Become More Than Friends?

do they have mutual friends? she should let him know somehow that she likes him before its too late. You said she is shy so im assuming she won't just tell him about her feelings so she just need to make it obvious but not too obvious(give him hints). by the way, does she know his family? If she does then she should act all shareef and cool (and realllllly friendly) when his mom or sister/cousin is around. If his mom likes her then samjo baat paki...(most desi guys are mama's boys so we girls need to please their mama too-just tell her to put on an act).

7

Re: Become More Than Friends?

Not true Sara. :nono:

It takes courage for a girl to tell a guy that she likes him.

Lost, the girl in question should just tell the guy how she feels … at least that is what I would do. It’s better to know up front if there is even any chance for the two to have a future rather than sit back in fear and wait and wonder for ever ‘what if’. They have both known each other for 10 months so a friendship is already in place. Worse case scenario is that he will get scared and back off, but if the girl is able to act normally, there will always still be friendship there … it’s a chance that a lot of people who be scared to take, scared of the risk, but it’s a chance I personally would take rather than never knowing and waiting for the guy to make a move. At least the girl will know where she stands and will be able to move on if he’s not interested.

8

Re: Become More Than Friends?

Mehnaz, thats not what I think obviously :bummer: But I’ve read so many replies here in various threads about what they think of girls who tell guys they like them. It’s pretty pathetic.

9

Re: Become More Than Friends?

^ they are called taiz or "fast" girls by desi aunties.

10

Re: Become More Than Friends?

And desparate by desi guys :rolleyes:

11

Re: Become More Than Friends?

There’s nothing desperate or ‘taiz’ about it. :confused: If the guy is dropping huge hints for a while now, but not coming out and saying it, what’s wrong with a girl wanting to clear the air and find out exactly what is going on so that she knows where she stands?

12

Re: Become More Than Friends?

I agree there is nothing taiz or desperate about it, but i’ve heard aunties say, “oh woh larki dekho kitni taiz hai us ney apney liyeh larka bhi dondh liya”!!:rolleyes:

13

Re: Become More Than Friends?

It isn’t, but in our screwed up desi universe, it is seen as a bad thing unfrotunately. The fact that a woman is even excited about guys, likes them, likes the thought of marriage is somewhat looked down upon. Girls are supposed to be khamosh and depressed and hate all guys. At least that’s how i’ve seen it :rolleyes:

Secret Door bell
14

Re: Become More Than Friends?

Thank you sooooo much for all the replies. :) I really appreciate all the supportive posts.

Let me add a few more info. They both have their own apartments and both of their families live in a different city. Now she has been to his apartment MANY times to hang out so she's 100% sure that he's not married. They've been hanging out almost daily for the past few months....they live like 10 minutes from each other. Other than his apt., the place they go to most of the time is a local hangout spot where most of his friends go too. So if he's engaged OR even has a gf, the girl is 100% sure she would've known about it by now.

Now here's the "bombshell" and I hope you guys won't get biased b/c of this. She's desi but he's white. As far as his family goes, during hurricane Rita in Houston, he took her with him to stay at his mom's house for 2 days and yes, she did get along very well with his mother and he's VERY close to his mom. A few months ago his older brother and the brother's wife were in town visiting, and she also hung out with his brother and wife. And in case you're wondering, no he has not met any of her family.

All of his friends that they hang out with already think they're dating. They've been thinking that for months since these two are so close and hang out so often. Even though both the guy and girl tell the friends they're not "dating" and are "just friends", the friends(who btw are technically HIS friends) don't believe them. In fact, he invited her to go to a Christmas party thrown by one of his friends and his wife at their house just last week. At the party, at one point, they were asked by the hostess(HIS friend's wife) how long they've been a couple!! In fact, several times they've been asked how long they've been "together" OR "a couple" by people at the hangout spot where they hang out at.

Even though this girl is very shy and is terrified of getting hurt by dating this guy and also risking losing the friendship, she also has started having very strong feelings for him lately and can't stop wondering "what IF?". And since this girl knows first hang how hard it is to find a "good guy" these days, she thinks she's be an idiot not to see if something could happen here.

She is willing to bring up the topic with him face to face despite her shyness with these things. Although knowing her, she's definately blush like crazy, stutter A LOT, and end up saying "ummmmm..." and "errrrrr...." several hundred times!!!

Now, can you guys give me ideas about exactly what she should say? When they see each other next time face to face, should she ask him directly whether or not he'd like to go out on a date with her? I mean, what exactly does she say?

15

Re: Become More Than Friends?

Um ..she should ask him something like this: where do you see yourself in 5 years from now? ..n if he says he sees himself as a happily married man then we can go into that direction...if not then i think the girl should end the conversation and the relationship right there. The girl can then ask him if he has found a girl yet...

OmG@ my thinking...i'm sucha desi : like>love>marriage.

16

Re: Become More Than Friends?

^ Well not necessarily.. i mean she can say how she feels and maybe he’ll change his mind about being a bachelor forever.. its possible isnt it :rotato:

17

Re: Become More Than Friends?

[quote]
It can be 99.999999 percent sure, but when it comes to mthings like this, that 1.111111111 percent can be awfully nerve wracking.
[/quote]

^^ So I see percent means out of 101%? :D

18

Re: Become More Than Friends?

Math was never my strong suit :(

19

Re: Become More Than Friends?

^^ So I see percent means out of 101%? :hehe:

20

Re: Become More Than Friends?

I would recommend that she flat out ask him and get it over with.