Beauty routines for men

[Sara516]

Re: Beauty routines for men

@ashtray

Here goes my daily beauty routine

As I am a stickler for exercise, the first thing I do is scratch my “crown jewels”. This not only gets the blood circulation going in important areas of the body but also helps in avoiding arthritis of finger joints at a later age.

Second, I open my eyes to see which side of the bed I am, and then roll over to the side closest to the bathroom for my morning jog to the throne.

On the throne I perform my meditating yoga to stimulate my mind. I meditate hard and I meditate fast.

After ablution, I am in a complete religious mood so I stand in front of the mirror and admire God for being perfect in whatever he creates.

After a few minutes with God comes personal hygiene, so I pick monster size boogers from my nose that were carefully collected during the night. As I am is still emotional with all the praying , sometimes I cry with emotion and also with pain if I pull a nose hair while reaching deep and pulling hard. All the boogers are carefully and strategically pasted on the sides of the mirror. What? Some people tie knots, I paste boogers on the mirror to remind me of things I need to do when I get home in the evening.

Splash some ice cold water on the face not only to completely wake up but I read somewhere that it is also good for facial skin, avoid eyes as you may lose the “nasheela pann” required to impress the secretaries at the client’s offices. I don’t use a towel but let the skin absorb the moisture so that my beauty is skin deep.

Shave depends on my the religious mood that particular morning, if I am moderately enlightened, I shave.

For oral hygiene, I pop up last nights wrigleys carefully stuck to the side of the crystal ashtray for freshness.

Change into crisply ironed clothes and drive to the office.

This is my balanced mix of religious, spiritual and hygienic beauty rituals of the morning. I will post my evening beauty routine later.

aww man that’s too funny