^ I completely agree with you. You have raised a lot of valid points.
My mom always gets comments about my skin tone from aunty's, usually along the lines of "aap ki beti itni gori chitti hai MashAllah"....this always makes me laugh because a lot of my friends are from different cultures and always tell me that I need to get a tan! Such comments about me being fair are most unsettling when mentioned in front of my other female cousins, all of whom have gorgeous tanned skin but are slightly younger then me. One of my cousin's even started using a fairness cream (to no avail) because she said she was sick and tired of having her skin tone compared to mine. When I explained to her that she was gorgeous as she is she told me that she found it hard to believe when all these desi aunty's are always harping on about how fairness = beauty. So many girls nowadays get rejected for rishtas simply because they are tanned. I find this kind of thinking to be completely inappropriate and is the reason why so many girls turn to fairness creams. Looks eventually fade but a person's personality is there to stay. Hence all of these aunty's who are trying to find a perfect, thin, gori chitti girl for their sons need to look past what's on the outside and focus on the type of person she is.
different perspectives...different views...if aunties make u uncomfortable...then how about your friends..? what do they have against white skin? why they keep on harping about you getting a tan? seems like you have no problem with what your friends think and say but the same does make u feel uncomfortable when it comes from desi aunties...seems like our ppl have some shameless agenda against desis that they will stop at nothing to demean and put them down. no matter how low you yourself have to go for that.