bari jewellery

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
1

Just comparing n also curious
how much gold is usually given for bari
n how much did u get .i got 4tolas n feel its v low :frowning:

2

bari jewellery

Just appreciate what you have been given, all i got gold wise was one set with two karas. Every family is different and some give loads some dont. Will you be wearing it everyday? All my gold sits in a locker

3

Re: bari jewellery

You will have to pay yearly zakat on your gold, do you know this? If you can do so easily; great. If you and your spouse will see it as a hassle, then the less you have....the less you're a countable for....and thus it could even be a blessing.

And if your husband is the kind who will be willing to buy you gold jewelry when he can afford it.....then the 4 tolay your in-laws gave you will (inshallah) not be the last time you will be gifted gold, nor your last chance to get gold.

4

Re: bari jewellery

Thats true .its just wen i looked at other girls in my family n even my nand i felt my saas was unjust

5

Re: bari jewellery

Gold is very expensive these days. Four Tolas isn't bad at all.

6

Re: bari jewellery

I got 18 tolahs, which surprised me, I hadn't expected it. I'm dreading the Zakat I'll have to pay for it .... My friend who is getting married next month is getting 40 tolah ...

7

Re: bari jewellery

The problem with comparing yourself with others is that it's never enough. There will always be someone who has more or better than you. In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter? Are you seriously going to guage your self worth on how much gold you were given??

Look at it this way, you can't take it all with you when your time on this Earth is up, and it certainly won't buy your way into the pearly gates. Don't let this diss as you see it cloud your relationship with your inlaws because you'll only make things difficult for yourself.

There are seriously worse problems to have.

8

Re: bari jewellery

Oh God grow up and get over it!

9

Re: bari jewellery

i got zero tokay as i married someone who is not desi.

there - that should make you feel better about the 4 that you did get!

10

Re: bari jewellery

^ bet you got an awesome ring though! :p

11

Re: bari jewellery

i don't think you can term your saas unjust if she has given you lesser gold in bari because giving gold or anything else for that matter is not an obligation. if whatever they have given you is less than what you need, then ask your husband to buy you more if he can afford it and is willing to, or buy with your own money.

12

Re: bari jewellery

lol yes. but gold is worth more than diamonds in the long run :)

13

Re: bari jewellery

i have never asked and neither i know how much tola gold i got.

its 2 sets and 2 bangles but tiny sets.

i got 2 sets and 2kara from my parents and 1 tiny set from husband grandfather.

and to be honest ... even after asking for very small sets , i still feel i should have asked for NO sets at all because i dont get to wear anything. I only wear my karas and the 2 bangles when i go for dawat.

i wished i had told my inlaws 'not' to give me anything as it is a big waste of disposible income.

14

Re: bari jewellery

I think I got 1… I got studs and a pendant. My mom gave me 2 sets. I wish I didn't have any because I never ever wear it

15

Re: bari jewellery

OP, you should be focusing more on how you plan to live your new life with your new family. at the end of the day, gold is just material happiness. that is never more important than the respect, love and happiness you are to inshAllah receive from them.

16

Re: bari jewellery

:eek: $ 18,000

17

Re: bari jewellery

You are lucky zakat wise as you'd have to pay very less.
Gold is only used on weddings and to pas on to kids.
I got alot of gold on my nikkah as i got the gold for my barat too. And I'm dreading it. Around 54 tolas. Which is alot.

18

Re: bari jewellery

Don't compare it just see the gestures and behavior of your in laws. if they are giving you this less gold with love n complete welcoming gestures be grateful. i know before wedding these things matter and we get hurt n touchy if something comes up less than our expectations. my in laws came from Canada for my wedding recently n i was so confused n worried that they will not give me gold as they are not desi. but when my saas brought 15 tola gold on my mehndi i got so embarrassed though happy as well but now i didn't wear them even once n only worried to pay zakat.
end of the day what truly matters how they treat you, just pray for a happy life.

19

Re: bari jewellery

Thankyou all.you people are very wise :slight_smile:

And gestures n behaviour.hah.i guess i came with a badluck
they did not welcome me plus they still treat me formally.
reason i askd abt gold n all cuz my mil in the same year gave my nand alot.n notjimg like a 15000 pkr gold set.all sets were above 55000.that just made me feel that way.im over it now :slight_smile:

20

She can give whatever she wants to however she wants. She can choose to give nothing to anyone. Did you marry your mil?? If you are concerned about the amount of gold you got, ask your husband for more.
I like good gold sets but I never expect my mil to give me anything. If I can’t afford it, I don’t buy it. Plus are you seriously comparing yourself with her daughter???