I make fish and rice as a staple in my home. Fish is popular in Karachi. Obviously, a lot of fishing off the coast line. We are a memon family so our staple like gujratis, is rice. Also staple for us is vegetables/daal on a daily basis, rather than meats. We aren’t known for our karhais, kababs etc, that’s more traditional Punjabi/Pushto/Balochi type meals (I have no idea what’s common for sindhis). But I’ve always grown up in a rice based and vegetable/daal/fish based diet. Meat is had in small portions and some memon families have gosht ka saalan (gosht curry - goat meat) as a staple with rice. It’s made in our home daily - for my dad. Mom’s family was always more vegetable/daal based, rather than goat curry.
And anyway, do Bangladeshis really eat that much fish? And even if they do so what? Maybe that is why they have great hair.
Surely there’s more to Bangladesh than just Dhaka? That’s like Pakistanis calling their country super liberal and so content with ‘skin show’ on the basis of life in Islamabad, Lahore etc.
You’d find that the attitude is very similar in Pakistan. Of course there are changing trends on national level, then there are family customs and rules still intact. So if you’re family is still very strict about covering your head while the Azaan is going on, then that’s just another family rule come tradition. But if you are out an about on the streets of Lahore or Islamabad/Pindi, no one will ‘bat an eyelid’ if women don’t cover their heads with duppata. I don’t.
In regards to saris. Well Saris are Bangladesh’s national dress, not Pakistan’s! So it makes sense why most Pakistanis have no practical clue about saris! According to you if Bangladeshi like to wear Saris with short blouses because that’s how it’s traditionally worn, then there are many Pakistanis who think Shalwar Kameez is incomplete without a hanging duppata (not hijab!)! It’s got nothing to do with who’s more liberal or conservative - a casual classification I find highly superficial - it’s mostly to with the fact people being loyal to their traditions and customs.
For your information: unlike Bangladesh, Pakistan is a very diverse country made up of many different ethnic groups, cultures and sub-cultures and different climate zones, and it’s probably six times the size of Bangladesh in terms of area! There is indeed some communities in Pakistan that still see sari as part of their cultural heritage and wear it the traditional way with bit of skin show from the midriff, just like PCG has stated. Such style of dressing is considered totally normal because it’s part of their cultural heritage, but such way of dressing would not be appreciated in let’s say, Pakhtoon wedding. That obviously proves wearing saris with midriff on view is not unheard of in Pakistan, and hardly a taboo. One needs healthy level of cultural awareness and respect to recognise the subtle to major differences between different ethnic groups of Pakistan. There are many practices and customs in Pakistan which are strictly area and community specific, and therefore it’s always a bad idea to draw broad black and white generalisations on the diverse country of 180 million people.
I’m sure you check out Pakistani fashion, and considering how common it is to wear sleeveless kameez and capri pants, I think it’s fair to say that it’s about time that we bury the myth about Pakistani being oh so opposed to ‘bit of skin show’. I really don’t understand the obsession.
i know 5-6 bangladeshi people and ALL of them are SO nice. Respectful and so good. A cousin’s cousin married a Bangaleshi guy who is Canadian. Religion was more important to her than heritage. She is happy!
The Bangladeshis I know speak ok Urdu. Not fluent, but they take the effort to speak it.
PCG, if the guy is good, go for it. Is he from Bangladesh? Is he American born or raised? Race doesnt matter at the end of the day. They aren’t too different from Pakistanis.
You want to build a Muslim household with the right culture. Combine Pakistani and Bangladeshi culture, under the umbrella of Islam and it will work out well for you. I do not think you would reject a guy just because of his race.
The last time I asked my bengoli friend when he had roti, he replied “2 years ago” And yes they do eat Fish. ALOT of fish. So much so that their furniture smells like barbequed fish.
You are clearly not prejudiced against Bengali culture nor do you seem to be holding a grudge against Bangladeshis for separating from Pakistan. It also speaks to the maturity and levelheadedness of the Bangladeshi guy that he isn’t hating on all Pakistanis for the brutalization of his country when it was under Pakistan’s rule or for the horrible genocide of Bengalis at the hands of Pakistani Army in 1971. If he isn’t giving off chauvinistic vibes, he must be open to marrying into another culture. And just as well because confining to your own ethnicity or racial background puts you at a disadvantage, potentially weeding out a perfectly compatible match who could prove to be just as good a spouse as someone from your own background.
^ Do you know any decent memon guys that are educated and are in their 30’s? Never married or if divorced at least no messy divorces and no kids?
I think my parents estimated there would be guys, and then there were not. All the men we know here either married non-muslim girls (their white or spanish girlfriends from high school), or they didn’t go to school at all (which makes it great convincing anyone it’s a match) and they went straight to running stores, or they married and are now divorced and there are good reasons. It’s slim pickings. There is one divorced guy on the market here and he is younger than me, and also in bhai status. There was one guy I came across in Cali, but he is a manager at a food chain (not even his store), and he never went to college. Another whose mom I spoke to , and she humbly told me her son wouldn’t be a match because I’m so educated, what am I going to do with a boy that works at a convenience store and didn’t go to college?
That’s the reality of many memon guys, they just never went to school. Even in this day and age.
And yeah I tried importing an educated memon boy from Pakistan. That didn’t work. My paranoid mom was convinced they were after my money and after greencard. Which even they fessed up that the only reason they were exclusively looking in the US was for greencard purposes. She didn’t get it that he might actually like me.
I’m not sure if he really did, everything fell apart pretty easily and he didn’t do much to patch it up.
So, I don’t care about marrying into memons. What’s the point?
I’m a patriotic Pakistani, I’d actually prefer if the guy is Pakistani. That this one is Bangladeshi is not racism on my part, but rather I wonder if this can work because of all the horrible things Pakistani army did to their people. Bangladeshis don’t really like Pakistanis from what I understand.
But this guy apparently doesn’t care. His dad was in the Pak airforce and left the country just before everything fell apart so their family didn’t get so impacted by the separation. They were wealthy in Bangladesh with factories and properties, so I doubt their women were the ones getting raped. So they don’t have the trauma in their heads that other Bangladeshi people have.
Yet I see enough Indian/Bengladeshi women married to Pakistani men or vice versa.
Those who see things from very nationalistic/political spectrum probably can’t stand each other. It’s not like Pakistanis are bursting with love for Indians or Bengladeshis. I find Pakistanis far more picky. Maybe the Urdu speaking folks are slightly more flexible in marrying Indians or Bengladeshis, but I find rest of the Pakistani communities very reserved on this issue.
A cousin’s cousin married a Bangaleshi guy who is Canadian. Religion was more important to her than heritage. She is happy!