Wild hav u ever thought of working? wats ur hubby's views on that. do u think if u start working things will fall down into place by itself. also u'll get some space of ur own. to reduce ur mils work u can ask the housekeeping lady to come 2-3 times a week. u do ur share of chores b4 u leave for work. mil will do watever she can while u r away. u finish the rest when u come back.
if that idea also flops then.... how abt telling eveytime u want to make her go away "ammi aap rehnay dain. itna kaam mat kia kerain. thak jain gee...lain mujhay dain. meray hotay aap kyoon khud ko thakati hain" etc
Cant work..I am in USA on a visa. But I have contacted my daughters Islamic school about voluntary work. I have also decided that the only way to balance getting me time is to do stuff alone during the day so that I dont feel like I am attached to her 24 hours a day morning, noon and night.
Your last part...about asking her not to work..honestly I have tried that numerous times. As I mentioned in a previous post, after trying to be firm about not having her do everything, her daughter called me and told me to let her mom do whatever she wanted as she enjoyed doing stuff.
Red, yes she does probably have OCD but another thing is the need to feel she is a vital part of our house. Being a widow has displaced her status and turned her whole world upside down. She is no longer feels the matriach after the patriach has gone, even though we all still treat her as the head of the household.
Her home is in Pakistan and she has had to leave everything she has to be at the generosity of her children. Thats a tough situation to be in and if I were in her situation, it would be tough for an independent person like me to be become a dependent.
I feel that she goes over the top in her helping out to show that we need her to satisfy her own need to feel wanted. That is why I completely sympathize with her situation and want to do as much as I can for her but it does get overwhelming at times.
I love my mother in law dearly but too much of a good thing can also not be so good!