Re: Balancing roles of two women running one home
UPDATE: I did try talking to my husband about this problem....IT WENT DOWNHILL!! He threw a ballistic fit about how this was his mothers house and if she wanted to do something it was her right and I was lucky to have a mother in law who was so active otherwise most mother in laws make their daughter in laws do all the work! I managed to clarify the situation the next day and said if you are happy then I wont say anything.
So hubbys support is out of the question.
I have tried diplomatically and directly to suggest division of chores, it falls on deaf ears because she ends up doing my stuff as well as hers constantly. For example, if I have made the bed, she makes it again!
Cooking is a matter of who gets into the kitchen first or who isnt busy so that isnt too much of a problem on a daily basis. But when we have dinner parties, she dictates what gets cooked. Or if I cook a meal, she still feels the need to make something..(betay ko pasand ayay ga).
We have a housekeeper come once a week so housekeeping is not a big issue but she still insists on cleaning after the housekeeper is gone. When she was here, I had the housekeeper come twice a week just to make her not need to work so much, but that didnt help.
I think all these are trivial issues because she is definitely an asset to my home in terms of helping out, but the crux of the problem is the feeling as some have said of feeling that she is taking over my house or being made the helper. I also feel pressure to 'babysit' her because I feel bad if I go out and have fun knowing she cant get out unless I take her.
I am going to try again to talk to her and pray that she shows a better reaction than her son!