Re: Balancing roles of two women running one home
Wild, your situation seems tricky only because your MIL as wonderfully helpful as she is .....doesn't seem willing to back down a bit.
I agree with the several points you've made above and it seems that you've been very patient and now things are taking a toll on you. I think it would make a big difference if you can get your husband to support you in enforcing some positive changes. I don't know if your husband is the kind to get upset at any negative comments about his mom. Some men are like that. So, start off with the positive and tell him various things you love about his mom. Then proceed to tell him about your concerns and how you're feeling. And let him know that you'd like to balance things out in the home so as to make things easier for his mom and for you. Propose your suggestions.........and ask him to help you out. Because you can't do this alone. And ask him if he can help with taking the kids and MIL out sometimes.........so that YOU get some time to yourself. We all need to time to relax and unwind and be on our own for a while.
Also, a point you can bring up regarding splitting up of household duties.......is responsibility for children. You can tell your MIL that you want your children to learn responsibilities regarding housework.....and that can only be done when they are involved in the cleaning as opposed to others doing it all the time. So........that could be a possible strategy to divide the work.