Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
Lahori, that's ur opinion and ur entitled to it but it's not just Arabs..
If living with inlaws is such an Islamic thing how come hardly any group of Muslims **apart from Desis **actually do it??
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
PFF you guys are pathetic, feel sorry for your husbands. Even though I wanted to move out at first, my wife insisted we live with my parents. What a good girl, mashalla.
Its not just money or health, mashalla parents have both of those. It's that, they want some company. All my life they have raised me, paid for my college, cars, took care of me, and now when I am working I should abandon them? No way in hell. All they want is someone to have dinner with, someone to talk too.
All you girls forcing your husbands to move out, watch when you have a son raise him your whole life and he leaves you. Its gonna happen.
My parents have never once asked me to stay with them, but I know their feelings would be hurt if I left. Their my mom and dad, they come before any girl in the world. I would never put my wife or kids before them, ever. Love you mom and dad.
They are my path to paradise or hellfire. Wives can come and ago, man can have 4 wives, and its just down to 3 words, talaq, talaq, talaq, and its done.
But parents, you will always only have one set of parents, *you will be known by your fathers name on youmi kiyama. * For a man after Allah and his prophet (PBUH), comes his mother. For a woman its her husband after Allah and his prophet (PBUH).
WHATS youmi kiyama, if your talking about judgement day, you will called by your mothers name not your fathers.
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
Lahori, that's ur opinion and ur entitled to it but it's not just Arabs..
If living with inlaws is such an Islamic thing how come hardly any group of Muslims **apart from Desis **actually do it??
we derive everything including our red lenghey at our weddings, to living with inlaws from the hindu culture...yet we love to bash them. however i dont see anything wrong with living with husbands parents, i wish my brothers wife lives with mine once hes married.
Re: why...
No where in Quran it says that a woman should have her own separate everything, even if it means the guy has to leave his mom and dad and break their heart. If they happily, willingly want you to go, that is another story. But really 99% of parents are not like that.
They want your company, they want their grandkids to wake them up in the morning!
No woman's demands are worth hurting your mom and dads feelings, that is a major sin.
Guys, run as fast as you can away from such girls!! Kiya koi larkion ke kami hai?
There are tons of nice pretty Muslim girls who will be obey you and look after your parents, leave these "demanding" girls alone.
No girl is worth hurting your mom and dads feelings.
It just says living quarter, not a full house far away. Most houses in the U.S are pretty big, there are extra bathrooms, rooms etc..all with locks. No bigge.
Are you feeling ok. you do know a womans islamic right dont you? a woman can have her own home. thats a basic outright islamic right that is codified. a man leaving his parents, you say is not written anywhere that he should,this is merely implied, you are interpreting this for your own meaning. however you choose to ignore the obvious womans right of having her own home.
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
EDAL- So if your dad had this thinking about your mother-that he can just divorce ur mum in 3 words-only 3 words- im sure you would appreciate it wouldnt you....
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
Every person should think about their future and what Allah swt might have planned on them.
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
EDAL, bhaijaan, you know some of your points may make some sense if you didn't have such a bad attitude about the wives...like when you say the wives can come and go, larkiyon ki kya kami hai type of statements...before you such such sentences, stop to think how you'd feel if your sister's husband says that about your sister, or your dad says that about your mom or if your son in law says that about your daughter. Stick to the basics brother. Respect is mutual....just cuz you can have 4 wives doesn't mean you ain't going to be standing in line on the day of judgement.
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
I don't understand why men think its their wives duty to serve HIS parents?? I mean they are his parents not hers. as far as i know, its not even required by your religion to take care of your husbands parents so why do desis have this stupid mentality?
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
It’s all in the attitude 
Re: why...
Since you love to make assumptions about me, lemme make a few about you.
You are bitter cause you have been used a few more times than you would like? Jealous of the pious Muslim girls who guard their modesty and and maintain their respect, and obey their husbands?
Oh yeah, im so jealous I didn't get a husband who would boss me around and make me rub his mothers feet..
[quote]
Who the heck are you to claim the American culture is better than others. LOL trust me girls are used, abused, and looked down upon as sex objects here. No honor or respect. One guy to the next, teen pregnancy , so many kids don't even know who their father is.
[/quote]
its my opinion that american culture is not as sexist as desi culture and these women are liberated and not told by men what to do. So yeah american culture is way better for women compared to your twisted pakistani culture
[quote]
Do you know there are parties in college, where a willing girl will be in a room and diff guys will then have a go at her one by one, then laugh about it. This is your sick culture !!! Yes I am sure that girls father feels really proud!!!
[/quote]
and your culture is so sick that it allows a man to have sex with 4 women basically allowing them to cheat on their wives. disgusting..
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
EDAL, i don't know why you are wasting so much time?
i thought by now, you would of figured out what kind of women come on gs.
It's NOT worth arguing with them.
What's funny to me is that some of these women are bringing in Islam, when it comes to living with MIL (how it's Hindu culture) but these same women have no problem with dating, sleeping around, wearing shorts, showing skin, friendship with men, etc that's when they completely ignore Islam :)
Re: why...
Oh yeah, im so jealous I didn't get a husband who would boss me around and make me rub his mothers feet..
its my opinion that american culture is not as sexist as desi culture and these women are liberated and not told by men what to do. So yeah american culture is way better for women compared to your twisted pakistani culture
and your culture is so sick that it allows a man to have sex with 4 women basically allowing them to cheat on their wives. disgusting..
living with mil doesn't mean you'll be rubbing her feet
Islam allows a man to have sex with 4 women, it's not cultural thing.
It's more common in arab countries than in Pakistan (just my opinion)
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
^
Does your religion tell women to serve their Mother and father inlaw?** where does it say that a woman has to take care of her husbands parents?**
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
I love how women start shooting fatway left, right and center when it comes to taking care of their husbands' parents. How many of these gems follow the religion in entirety, in all aspects of their lives? Taking care of your own and your partner's parents is basic humanity and courtesy which quite obviously your elders failed to instill in your personality while you were growing up. I am sorry if it sounds harsh but I can understand such hatred and contempt coming from a person whose mother was drunk and snorting drugs while pregnant, and then they were probably abused by their fathers and then kicked out of the house to live a life of struggle for survival. And that is something I have not seen in any desi family yet, but yeah I do understand that exceptions are always there. But still, it is really disturbing and shocking to see this kind of behaviour coming from desis. I can only assume what kind of abusive parents raised them and what kind of family unit they have been a part of. Its just sad, very sad.
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
I don't understand why men think its their wives duty to serve HIS parents?? I mean they are his parents not hers. as far as i know, its not even required by your religion to take care of your husbands parents so why do desis have this stupid mentality?
Women are responsible for their parents, children and husband. IF she wants to look-after his parents great, IF she doesn't get along with them she doesn't have to. It's their sons' responsibility to provide for them. On the same note, it doesn't mean they don't respect them the same. It also doesn't mean all women on GS want to live seperately..
I love how men think, if they wish to move-out it's because of 'privacy' etc. If a woman wishes to move-out for the same reasons it's 'neglecting his parents'.
Decision to stay or move-out really has nothing to do with one's upbringing.. I'd think it's better to live seperately and avoid all friction (if that's the situation) than to stay back and let things get really messy. Depends entirely on the situation/compatibility.
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
Its not just women not taking care of husband's parents but also not letting husbands do that either.
Since they dont like their husbands spending time and effort to take care if their parents. They use different techniques like
*Why your brother and sister dont have do it.
*We want to go out.
*Throwing tantrums at being ignored.
*Making up things to keep the husband busy.
etc etc
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
EDAL, i don't know why you are wasting so much time? i thought by now, you would of figured out what kind of women come on gs. It's NOT worth arguing with them. **What's funny to me is that some of these women are bringing in Islam, when it comes to living with MIL (how it's Hindu culture) but these same women have no problem with dating, sleeping around, **wearing shorts, showing skin, friendship with men, etc that's when they completely ignore Islam :)
**
EDAL has said he also did this** himself
At least us girls aren't complete hypocrites and expect a complete virgin if we aren't that ourselves and then have the nerve to call those very people we have slept with sl*gs or whatever (what does that make him then??). Most girls here openly admit they have shortcomings or have made mistakes when it comes to religion but EDAL just arrogantly puts down females who have done what he did and somehow thinks he is better than them.
Most of the girls on here just want the same level of respect directed to themelves and their parents as the men and their parents already get in our culture, not asking to be put on a pedestal or treated better or spoiled.
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
EDAL, i don't know why you are wasting so much time? i thought by now, you would of figured out what kind of women come on gs. It's NOT worth arguing with them. What's funny to me is that some of these women are bringing in Islam, when it comes to living with MIL (how it's Hindu culture) but these same women have no problem with dating, sleeping around, wearing shorts, showing skin, friendship with men, etc that's when they completely ignore Islam :)
+1
Have seen this a LOT from both sides, guys who usually do not follow any other duties of Islam (namaz, roza, hujj etc) gladly point out the 4 marriage option. Girls who hate 4 marriages/joint family are gladly pointing out how Arabs have to arrange separate home and stuff (Arab are known for polygamy unlike desis ).
It's a hypocrite world we live in.
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
EDAL, i shall pray for your wife. And your mother too. And any sisters you may have.
And may Allah bless you only with daughters so you will learn how to respect women.
And on a side note, please dont use such crude and disgusting language and swearwords whilst mentioning Islam in the same paragraph, didn't your parents teach you better than that?
Re: Bahu Obligations and the Joint Family System
Since most of you are only interested in accusing each other of terrible things, I'm closing this thread.