Background Checks

[inspiron]

In a rishta situation when the family are completely unknown what is the best and most thorough way of doing a background check?

My dad is pretty good as in he interviews the guy and family 2-3 times before i meet them. But what else can be done?

Thanks

[NomiCA]

Re: Background Checks

private investigator..

[Mirch]

Re: Background Checks

Hire a PI that is the best bet to get all the info. you need on a guy and a gal and their families. I am serious , not kidding around. I had opened a thread on this topic long time ago and most folks agreed with the PI bit.

[Orpheus]

Re: Background Checks

Magnum P.I.

[Pakilarka]

Re: Background Checks

what if u find out that your husband/wife’s family hired a PI to find out more about you ? would that bother you ?

[inspiron]

Re: Background Checks

if you are being serious about a PI isnt that a little far fetched? or is it normal?

[NomiCA]

Re: Background Checks

@inspiron

if you are being serious about a PI isnt that a little far fetched? or is it normal?

this is the reason

what is the best and most thorough way

[psyah]

Re: Background Checks

What if they find out about the PI and get spooked and call off the rishta ??? It may be the most thorough way but not necessarily the best …

My plan would be this:

1. Seek refuge from Satan in Allah (SWT)
2. Do supplicate that they are good for you and you for them
3. Invite them to share some information with you by providing some information about yourselves
4. Ask them direct questions about their background and if they squirm that is enough to tell you they are hiding.
5. Weigh the pros and cons
6. Do istikhara
7. Be patient and trust Allah (SWT)

Note: Suspecting a fellow Muslim is unIslamic those who do this and in turn behave suspiciously are themselves not worth getting involved with … This may not be as thorough as a PI … but it will sure lead to a better chance of a good marriage done in good time …

To add further remarks … If someone said he has a PhD and you want to see evidence instead of asking a PI just ask the people may I see the certificate, the chances are they will show you anyway … you gotta realise the rishta works both ways and they looking for a good rishta as well.

[sharklaser2]

Re: Background Checks

Check out his facebook?

[STA]

Re: Background Checks

If everything is seems OK and your mom/dad like that educated guy from good family then do Istikhara

[soconfused]

Re: Background Checks

I don’t have anything shady in my life but I would be MAJORLY creeped out if I found out the guy’s family had hired a PI to investigate me/my family. It has this air of mistrust and suspicion to it that I don’t like and I would hesitate before getting involved with a family that was like that. Most people have skeletons in their closet but usually its a thing of the past. If you’re trying to verify education and stuff there’s plenty of other ways to do it. Not that this would be the best way but most schools even have their students listed (at least for med schools/grad schools) so if he says he’s doing his PHD, you can probably find his information on the school’s website. And LinkdIn

[firenze]

Re: Background Checks

Some quick pointers …

1. Meet the guy & his family (90% of the time you can tell by there style of eating & talking in how much “pani” they are)

2. Background Check (In America/Europe it’s quite easy - but in Pakistan you can ask locals around there home, work & local police station for any registered problems)

3. NADRA ID (with Nadra ID you can pretty much get all the info on any person in Pakistan, you just need right people to ask - one can get bank account info, work info, financial liabilities, Any criminal records.. etc..etc)

4. His Friends & Work Colleagues ( they can be best source for the current info on the guys lifestyle, etc..etc.)

5. Ask close family members about the guy & his family in not so suspicious way.

6. Facebook, Twitter, MSN Messenger investigation, forums ..( for example: If someone go through all my posts & threads on Gupshup they will get pretty much idea that i am very liberal, i am recently married, what kind a though style i have .. do i like wine/cigar/cig.. do i have girl friend.. etc..etc etc)

[STA]

Re: Background Checks

@soconfused

I don’t have anything shady in my life but I would be MAJORLY creeped out if I found out the guy’s family had hired a PI to investigate me/my family. It has this air of mistrust and suspicion to it that I don’t like and I would hesitate before getting involved with a family that was like that. Most people have skeletons in their closet but usually its a thing of the past. If you’re trying to verify education and stuff there’s plenty of other ways to do it. Not that this would be the best way but most schools even have their students listed (at least for med schools/grad schools) so if he says he’s doing his PHD, you can probably find his information on the school’s website. And LinkdIn

many bad fish are in water therefore good fish also get eye of suspicion.

[chicagoin]

Re: Background Checks

linkedin facebook, myspace twitter are a wealth of information one of my friends recently turned otu a rishta becaus eshe googled him and found a website in which his ex had posted pictures of them, drinking, and according to his parents he didn’t drink.

[Pakilarka]

Re: Background Checks

@firenze

Some quick pointers …

6. Facebook, Twitter, MSN Messenger investigation, forums ..( for example: If someone go through all my posts & threads on Gupshup they will get pretty much idea that i am very liberal, i am recently married, what kind a though style i have .. do i like wine/cigar/cig.. do i have girl friend.. etc..etc etc)

Lets say they wana investigate about me, how do they know i am Pakilarka on Gupshup ?

[STA]

Re: Background Checks

@Pakilarka

Lets say they wana investigate about me, how do they know i am Pakilarka on Gupshup ?

guys like you are really dangerous.

[inspiron]

Re: Background Checks

@firenze

Some quick pointers …

1. Meet the guy & his family (90% of the time you can tell by there style of eating & talking in how much “pani” they are)-DONE

2. Background Check (In America/Europe it’s quite easy - but in Pakistan you can ask locals around there home, work & local police station for any registered problems)- ***How is it easier in europe? I think its harder because there isnt a vast khandan or grapevine here usually. ***

3. NADRA ID (with Nadra ID you can pretty much get all the info on any person in Pakistan, you just need right people to ask - one can get bank account info, work info, financial liabilities, Any criminal records.. etc..etc)- Obv in europe/amreeka wont work!

4. His Friends & Work Colleagues ( they can be best source for the current info on the guys lifestyle, etc..etc.)-If they are a completely new family this is quite tough no?

5. Ask close family members about the guy & his family in not so suspicious way.-***only met his mum and dad and him :S ***

6. Facebook, Twitter, MSN Messenger investigation, forums ..( for example: If someone go through all my posts & threads on Gupshup they will get pretty much idea that i am very liberal, i am recently married, what kind a though style i have .. do i like wine/cigar/cig.. do i have girl friend.. etc..etc etc)*** I seriously cant find this particular guy anywhere on FB or twitter- i found his name on his uni website so thats one thing hes not lying about his degree!***

Mannn im scared now i cant do half of these things!

[ll_xx_ll]

Re: Background Checks

IMO istakhaara is best

[Deeba1234]

Re: Background Checks

@sharklaser2

Check out his facebook?

This..

[STA]

Re: Background Checks

@inspiron

Mannn im scared now i cant do half of these things!

@llxxll

IMO istakhaara is best

you both have same avatar. one should change it to different. I always confuse.