Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
well that’s what most of the women blame anyway. 
..
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
Or maybe there are so disgusted by their husbands they get fat on purpose to stop their husbands wanting to sleep with them.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
I think breastfeeding helps in uterus going back but not exactly shedding off the weight.
It is very tough to do house chores, look after a baby, work out and then be all fresh and talk when husband gets back from work.
The shape changes too. I lost all my baby weight and got back to my weight that I started with but my older clothes are just tiny bit tight as I am a little more full now.
As for what to say to ladies, I know this one person who laughs it off and jokes about his weight.
Eventually people stop mentioning it often becuase the person is making jokes himself and there is nothing new about it. It happens very seldom that anyone mentions his weight and he is there again to laugh at it.
My husband gets all defensive whenever anyone says he has gained weight and then there are some people who either joke more about it because they know he gets all worked up or just like mentioning it becuase they tend to be irritating people :)
I tell him all the time to ignore it but he cannot help it.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
What 'Paki' thing? Its not like Pakistani women wear skirts or tight jeans as every day clothes that there's tremendous pressure in our culture to look like Hiedi Klum after giving birth. Unless in your family they prefer supper skinny females. Otherwise as far I'm concerned, Pakistanis in general find the plump looking women as normal as they get. Our women don't tend me very slender looking. Either you have gained considerbale weight or your family reads too many fashion magz.
Yes, there is pressure in western culture to be skinny, but desi women (not all off course but a lot of them) feel that its okay or acceptable for them to comment on other peoples weight. It annoys me, I have a little cousin who is 17 and I think she looks great but I've heard aunties telling her to lose weight, no one willl marry her, if she's eating telling her that she's had enough. Its not healthy for anyone to be hearing that.
Even if nadz gained considerable weight its unrealistic for people to comment on her being back to her pre-pregnancy shape within 4 months of giving birth, and even then as Sahar said she could lose all the weight and still not have the same shape. Its no one's buisness to comment on her weight.
Nadz - Just keep doing what you're doing, it's hard but don't let their comments discourage you or force you into unhealthy habits.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
I don't think I was really advocating women to perfectly go back to their pre-pregnancy 'shape' - I don't believe that myself. What I generally have a problem with desi women going up in arms the moment they're suggested to shape up. They unnecessarily get offended even if the comments come from their closed ones. It takes a mature and level headed woman to appreciate the good intentions and concerns behind those comments and take them as an encouragement to step up their game. I can only say so much on Nadz's case, but this is just my view from real life experiences. Personally I think last thing you should really say to a desi woman is to shape up, no matter who you are or how you say it, she'll take it as grave insult and fume endlessly. Those who are serious about their weight and shape will sort them out, whether they're told by anyone or not.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
The next time MIL says you you're a fatty, just tell her "And your son can't seem to get enough of this fatty (smack your bottom), if you know what I mean, Ammi ji...nudge nudge wink wink."
^You have to say it in a raspy/breathy voice...with a fish pout...and raise your eyebrows....so it actually sounds believable. But don't forget to blush as that adds some hayaa and modesty to the situation.
In fact, ^ that should be your response to all and any of her criticism. Next time she says you're fat/thin/rude/petty/annoying/dirty/lazy/b*tchy etc...tell her how your husband is all over that. The woman will never bug you again.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
If u r breastfeeding ur baby the weight will start dropping after 6 months it self.....theres nothing much that u can do about it other than working out. Best of luck with it. If some one asks..... tell them that it takes time to lose weight after baby (as if they dont know). Trust me.....commenting on weight is the best hobby of women and girls all over!
I actually did not find that to be true. I lost weight very quickly after delivery, probably due to fluid loss. Then I was incredibly hungry and had very intense cravings while breastfeeding. I put a few of those pounds back on while nursing, some of which have come off again now that I've stopped. Anyway, as long as a person is trying, they should not be made to feel disgusting.
Also, there IS a separate issue of the fact that in Pakistani culture it is perfectly acceptable to remark loudly and proudly whatever you notice about a person's appearance (both men and women do this, I have found). I have been a very confident young woman most of my life, but was constantly in tears whenever we visited Pakistan in my late teens and twenties. The remarks are often about things one cannot control or correct, but they must be stated, and not privately to show concern, rather out in the open in front of a large group, to show just how observant one is.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
The remarks are often about things one cannot control or correct, but they must be stated, and not privately to show concern, rather out in the open in front of a large group, to show just how observant one is.
^Yes, I've noticed that. And I used to think that it was due to not being aware of tact.....but that's not always the case...as some of the people dishing out the criticism so openly have a tough time accepting it when it comes their way. So it makes you question their intentions. Not everyone is like that....some do mean well but are not good at putting it in a way that is more considerate.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
^ I think it's also a cultural difference.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
LMAO! 
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
My MIL is always always telling me to lose weight. In two years of my marriage i've heard oh lose weight at least 200 times. We even had a huge huge argument where I told my husband enough is enough. I don't want to hear it anymore. I am pregnant now and the clothes she sent me are double my size even at 35 week. She thinks I am very very fat..
First time I heard I am fat was the day after my nikah, I wasn't even in their ghar yet. So yeah now I've stopped caring. I look at other good things in them. She is extremely nice magar iss weight issue ka kuch nahi kia ja sakhta i've realized.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
I don't think I was really advocating women to perfectly go back to their pre-pregnancy 'shape' - I don't believe that myself. What I generally have a problem with desi women going up in arms the moment they're suggested to shape up. They unnecessarily get offended even if the comments come from their closed ones. It takes a mature and level headed woman to appreciate the good intentions and concerns behind those comments and take them as an encouragement to step up their game. I can only say so much on Nadz's case, but this is just my view from real life experiences. Personally I think last thing you should really say to a desi woman is to shape up, no matter who you are or how you say it, she'll take it as grave insult and fume endlessly. Those who are serious about their weight and shape will sort them out, whether they're told by anyone or not.
How one says something is just as important as what they say; unfortuantely many people do not have the skill of saying things tactfully. They think just because something is "true" that gives them license to be rude and that anything they say is gold.
Also, no matter how nicely said, unsolicited weight loss advice is never welcome.
I do agree with your last statement that those who are serious and determined will do so regardless of comments....also just by my observations and just sayin--it's probably easier for a person who has always been slim/at a healthy weight to go back to their previous shape (or close to it) than someone who has always been overweight.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
Yep, they do tend to be incredibly loud and annoying, even if they are fat themselves. Also, they don't have the shame of thinking that this person can say something back to me because I am butt ugly. I have this relative, like a really distant uncle or cousin who came up to me just after a wedding and called me fat (which I'm not, I'm jus not stick thin like I used to be-which was when I got made fun of being stick thin), now this guy was butt ugly (I'm totally serious) and I was so shocked that somebody that looked like that could have the nerve to say something to someone else. Also, all the women in his family were very....heavy. I stayed quiet then, but after a few days of being annoyed by everyone in pak (-I mean they come into your room without knocking, the men come in just like that, and they know I'm a hijabi!) I went bonkers, I screamed at them for using my stuff without asking and literally chucked them out of my room. Then the cousin/uncle whatever asked me outside why I'm going this way (I was walking to my cousins house) and I went bonkers there too and screamed at him till he started crying. Then everyone gathered up, went to my mum and told on me... you can guess the rest
So...moral of the story-mums are useless in pakistan, they are totally on their side and will not understand your side of the story until they return to the sanity of scotland, whch was when she apologized to me for letting them do as they wished and for being so blinded whilst being in their company.
Also, screaming and shouting helps get the feelings out, you def won't be crying after that. (It's usually just a full out war when we go to pakistan now) Or you could be quite sly and do the whole aunty-ji type of revenge through tannay, just pick on their weaknesses.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
She is extremely nice magar iss weight issue ka kuch nahi kia ja sakhta i've realized.
Kia ja sakta hai. Lose the weight.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
Kia ja sakta hai. Lose the weight.
errr umm okay.. but just because someone else thinks I should lose weight doesn't mean I agree with them.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
Stop eating and blame yourself.
The argument of 'none of your business' and being adamant on staying fat/overweight is wrong.
If someone says you need to lose weight, BE THANKFUL to that person who points this out. ..and BE REALISTIC.
There is no excuse .........including having been pregnanat........ to be fat.
Both men and women should not find any 'excuse' for being fat or overweight and should be humble.
Read carefully: Those who do not care to point out how you look are NOT your friends.
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
diwana, did you even read what she wrote before you gave such valuable advice?
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
Yep, they do tend to be incredibly loud and annoying, even if they are fat themselves. Also, they don't have the shame of thinking that this person can say something back to me because I am butt ugly. I have this relative, like a really distant uncle or cousin who came up to me just after a wedding and called me fat (which I'm not, I'm jus not stick thin like I used to be-which was when I got made fun of being stick thin), now this guy was butt ugly (I'm totally serious) and I was so shocked that somebody that looked like that could have the nerve to say something to someone else. Also, all the women in his family were very....heavy. I stayed quiet then, but after a few days of being annoyed by everyone in pak (-I mean they come into your room without knocking, the men come in just like that, and they know I'm a hijabi!) I went bonkers, I screamed at them for using my stuff without asking and literally chucked them out of my room. Then the cousin/uncle whatever asked me outside why I'm going this way (I was walking to my cousins house) and I went bonkers there too and screamed at him till he started crying. Then everyone gathered up, went to my mum and told on me... you can guess the rest
So...moral of the story-mums are useless in pakistan, they are totally on their side and will not understand your side of the story until they return to the sanity of scotland, whch was when she apologized to me for letting them do as they wished and for being so blinded whilst being in their company. Also, screaming and shouting helps get the feelings out, you def won't be crying after that. (It's usually just a full out war when we go to pakistan now) Or you could be quite sly and do the whole aunty-ji type of revenge through tannay, just pick on their weaknesses.
What hte hell did you even say that you drove a grown (im assuming grown) man to tears?!!!
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
diwana, did you even read what she wrote before you gave such valuable advice?
Getting fed up with (all pakistani women) saying haii weight kam karo na..to me, i had my baby 4 months back, and weight loss for me is hard...nothing dropped off me, i was still huge, and my MIL is expecting me back in my shaadi walen kapre..and keeps saying weight lose karo yeh mat khao woh mat khao...
now problem is, I AM TRYING, but its hard....ive lost a little, not alot like i wouldve before baby....ive gone gym, ate good, but still its not working magic like it used to...ive lost barely half stone...and my body naturally retains weightanyway
now whats the smart answer to say to these people....without sounding rude.....esp to MIL.....im tired of being pressured to lose weight, even my husband is like r u mad, why u wanting to lose it soo quickly, aram say ho jayga....but its women who are another womans enemy....
now im not senstive either, but theres a limit to how much a new mother can take, ive got enough stresses, i dont need people telling me to lose weight fast, especially when i know i want to lose it too BUT its just not dropping off as i expected.
so what to do? im sure other women may understand the annoyance of it all...
lol, cant say this...
no havent moved to pak yet, its over the phone they were asking my measurements for clothes they are making me for....and are wondering why i cant fit into my shadi clothes....
and ...i do want to be that size again, but it takes time...this is what bugs me; why dont they let me take time.rather than pressurising me..
shes not worrying as such, she only mentioned it once when we were talking about my clothes, that they are making me for, and i told her my shaadi wale dont fit now, so she said it then, same as my mum says it. same as my aunts say it..its a paki women thing...but its bloody annoying.
Yes I did. Very carefully.
Unless there is a medical reason or if they eat whatever, women do get back to pre-pregnancy weight in 6 to 8 weeks after delivery.
Pregnancy weight is because of water retention and extra weight from baby or product of conception/enlarged uterus.
Women who eat sensibly during or after pregnancy do get back to looking same as before pregnancy, regardless how many times they get pregnanat. :)
Re: baby weight!!people hate!!!
^ But people have all sorts of issues and challenges involving metabolism. If she says, as she has, that she is eating healthy and exercising when possible, I don't see any reason for people to harp on it.
That being said, 6-8 weeks is laughable.