Baby Shower/Gaud Barhayi Rasam

[hareem01]

Re: Baby Shower/Gaud Barhayi Rasam

Mrs Shikra

god bharai and baby shower are two very different things and both of them are probably cultural but has no connection to Islam(I'm not saying if they're allowed or not). Islamic celebrations are about giving others not taking and consuming for yourself.

It is better to wait until baby arrives safely in this world then you can celebrate his/her birth as you like.

We celebrate birth of a child by doing Aqeeqah that includes several rituals.

[Sara516]

@DaffyDuck

ok I have a confusion here. Everybody please don’t come attacking me because i might have a lack of knowledge on this topic. Just need your views to clear me off my confusion!

Never in my 23 years have i seen any Pakistani family living in Pakistan i.e my family, my relatives, my extended family, my friends, my friend’s families, our family friends, my entire social circle even a single Baby Shower. To my knowledge, here they are considered Hindu/Christain rasmain. In the Islamic history, put aside the giving gifts part, but the rasm as a ‘baby shower’ been celebrated. Yes many of you will say that nowadays everything happens .. Muslims even celebrate Halloween, Holi, etc. but really is there any Islamic concept of this ‘Baby Shower’ as an event? It does seem to be a sweet concept owing to the fact that its for the mother-to-be but where when does it take place? How come i’ve never witnessed any in my nearest or even farthest social circle?Or is it that the desi Pakistanis don’t celebrate it but the others do now? Or maybe there are many families here in Pakistan who celebrate but i’ve never witnessed one just by luck?

Also, what really happens in these… the games n all? If there is the concept of giving gifts, why not give the gift after the baby is born for all the ups n downs, i mean God forbid if due to some problem the baby is not born or still born or whatever .. wouldnt it be even worst for the mother to just look at all the baby gifts all the time and cry over them. why not just give them after the baby is born?

and lastly, if they should be celebrated then who should be giving these??

Seriously? In pak noboyd around you has done a ghod bharayi? b/c the ghod bharai might not be the same xact thing as a baby shower but the idea is basically same…but i agree with the last part, if the baby isn’t born, that’s the only reason that people can be against it.

[DaffyDuck]

Re: Baby Shower/Gaud Barhayi Rasam

yup no godh bharayi and no baby shower, seriously! and i just discussed this with my female colleagues here as well that if they had been to a baby shower/godh bharayi or heard of it in their circle. They all said no and also said they thought of it as a christain/hindu tradition.

[Sara516]

Re: Baby Shower/Gaud Barhayi Rasam

that’s so werid. cz i know pakis who done godh bharayis…

[amana]

Unless her friend's in-laws are the pregnant ones, I don't think that their approval or disapproval should be a factor in whether or not you have a shower for your friend. A baby shower is a time to pamper the new mother to be and wish her well on a very happy occasion. It is held before the baby is born primarily because most new mothers are too tired after the birth of the baby to deal with a large number of guests. It is not about "collecting" gifts, although keep in mind that gift giving is a sunnah.

On a side note, if we are doing away with Hindu traditions then doesn't the entire rishta process and most rasams associated with it need to be scrapped?

[hareem01]

Unless her friend's in-laws are the pregnant ones, I don't think that their approval or disapproval should be a factor in whether or not you have a shower for your friend. A baby shower is a time to pamper the new mother to be and wish her well on a very happy occasion. It is held before the baby is born primarily because most new mothers are too tired after the birth of the baby to deal with a large number of guests. It is not about "collecting" gifts, although keep in mind that gift giving is a sunnah*.*

On a side note, if we are doing away with Hindu traditions then doesn't the entire rishta process and most rasams associated with it need to be scrapped?

Do we have to throw a shower and invite others [who might not even wanna come before the birth] to pamper and wish our pregnant friend?

In this case the** mother wants** someone to throw a baby shower for her so the whole idea is to collect gifts.

[Afro-Sheen]

Re: Baby Shower/Gaud Barhayi Rasam

I do understand the reasons/opinions people are giving for NOT having baby showers, or at least not until baby is born. But these days technologies are advanced, and there's a high rate of safe births. Everything is up to Allah of course, but by 8th month, in general you have a pretty good idea of mother's health/baby's health.

And yes most folks come over after the birth & give gifts anyways, SO what is wrong with coming over at 1 party and giving the gifts then, if you choose to gift. Plus usually moms are able to register, and isn't it better to give something the mother needs, rather than just random stuff.

It's a time to celebrate the mother, the new expected baby...etc and a chance for her to enjoy with her friends/family that makes her feel special. And believe me, its nice after going thru 9 months of pregnancy symptoms.

Think of a wedding, why bother doing the whole wedding, why not just sign the nikkah papers and call it a day? Point is to celebrate & enjoy, and invite people to share in happiness. Also after the birth the new mom is learning to BE a mom, and handle the little baby, and quite occupying! So during 8th/9th month is perfect time! Also at the baby shower, you have almost all your friends/family in one place to hang out with.....instead of months n months of visits. Plus then u can have all baby stuff set up, and you know what you have/don't have

[Mrs.Shikra]

@DaffyDuck

ok I have a confusion here. Everybody please don’t come attacking me because i might have a lack of knowledge on this topic. Just need your views to clear me off my confusion!

Never in my 23 years have i seen any Pakistani family living in Pakistan i.e my family, my relatives, my extended family, my friends, my friend’s families, our family friends, my entire social circle even a single Baby Shower. To my knowledge, here they are considered Hindu/Christain rasmain. In the Islamic history, put aside the giving gifts part, but the rasm as a ‘baby shower’ been celebrated. Yes many of you will say that nowadays everything happens .. Muslims even celebrate Halloween, Holi, etc. but really is there any Islamic concept of this ‘Baby Shower’ as an event? It does seem to be a sweet concept owing to the fact that its for the mother-to-be but where when does it take place? How come i’ve never witnessed any in my nearest or even farthest social circle?Or is it that the desi Pakistanis don’t celebrate it but the others do now? Or maybe there are many families here in Pakistan who celebrate but i’ve never witnessed one just by luck?

Also, what really happens in these… the games n all? If there is the concept of giving gifts, why not give the gift after the baby is born for all the ups n downs, i mean God forbid if due to some problem the baby is not born or still born or whatever .. wouldnt it be even worst for the mother to just look at all the baby gifts all the time and cry over them. why not just give them after the baby is born?

and lastly, if they should be celebrated then who should be giving these??

hmmmm…in my life i have seen many gaud berhai rasmein in pakistan and baby showers in America…and i truly believe its a beautiful rasam…

Again, baby shower concept is NOT just to collect gifts from others…its a day of celebration…its a function that is done BEFORE the baby is born…aqiqa and other functions are done AFTER the baby is born…theres a time for everything

@hareem01

Do we have to throw a shower and invite others [who might not even wanna come before the birth] to pamper and wish our pregnant friend?

In this case the** mother wants** someone to throw a baby shower for her so the whole idea is to collect gifts.

how can you judge her like that??? she already had received gifts from family n friends…so her wanting a baby shower is for fun not begging people for gifts.

[Shikra]

Also, what really happens in these... the games n all? If there is the concept of giving gifts, why not give the gift after the baby is born for all the ups n downs, i mean God forbid if due to some problem the baby is not born **or still born or whatever .. **wouldnt it be even worst for the mother to just look at all the baby gifts all the time and cry over them. why not just give them after the baby is born?

This reminds me of a very sad e-mail that I received today at work. My former co-worker and his wife were 7-month pregnant. My friend, Brian, is a testicle cancer survivor and he was lucky enough to father a baby. Both were very happy and they recently had a baby shower thrown for them and they had named the girl Sophie. For some unknown reason, the baby died while in the womb. They don't know the reason yet and an autopsy will be performed to find out the cause of death. They had visited the doctor a few days ago and everything seemed fine. God knows what happened.

I was simply speechless. I am not saying that this happened because they had the baby shower but all the presents etc., how they had a baby shower, and how they named the baby will cause it to take them a bit longer to forget this terribly sad incident.

[hareem01]

hmmmm.....in my life i have seen many gaud berhai rasmein in pakistan and baby showers in America....and i truly believe its a beautiful rasam...

Again, baby shower concept is NOT just to collect gifts from others....its a day of celebration...its a function that is done BEFORE the baby is born...aqiqa and other functions are done AFTER the baby is born....theres a time for everything

how can you judge her like that???? she already had received gifts from family n friends...so her wanting a baby shower is for fun not begging people for gifts.

Then go and celebrate with her instead of wasting your time in arguing......invite your friend to your house or in a restaurant without her inlaws.

[hareem01]

Re: Baby Shower/Gaud Barhayi Rasam

And have you given her gifts as well for the baby shower if yes will you be giving her more gifts after the birth?

[Sweetmoi]

Re: Baby Shower/Gaud Barhayi Rasam

I agree with Mr. Shikra .. You are absolutely right.

And Mrs. Shikra .. if your friends inlaws does not wanna throw her a baby shower for whtever reasons, then I really think you shouldnt do it. God forbid if something happens to the baby, you will be the blame target of the inlaws especially if they dont want a baby shower due to reasons attached with the babys health and so on.