I was wondering, because I’ve heard so many varying views from friends/family, how long did you all wait before you announced your engagement to the world? I still haven’t told a lot of my friends because I still don’t know 100% what’s happening–my parents are…a bit…unpredictable. At the same time, there’s girls I’ve grown up with that are going to be LIVID if they find out from elsewhere. I’m mostly concerned about facebook since it’s going to take 1 picture/status/post from anyone at the engagement to start problems.
Normally I wouldn’t care, but there were a lot of hurt feelings when a friend announced her engagement and some people realized that she had been telling other people all along.
I don’t get it. But I wanted to know how others did it. And when they did it?
Honestly, most of them were via Facebook. Just change your single status to committed and watch the congrats pour in. The ones I knew about before hand were the ones I was invited to.
Honestly, most of them were via Facebook. Just change your single status to committed and watch the congrats pour in. The ones I knew about before hand were the ones I was invited to.
I get that and that's how i found out about most people's engagements too but not anyone I was close friends with. One of my friends invited everyone over for dinner at her place and told us all that way. Another took us all out for dinner and told us. Is that...normal and expected?
I was just gonna text them like a day or two before and inform them. Lol 😳
I get that and that's how i found out about most people's engagements too but not anyone I was close friends with. One of my friends invited everyone over for dinner at her place and told us all that way. Another took us all out for dinner and told us. Is that...normal and expected?
I was just gonna text them like a day or two before and inform them. Lol 😳
You have nicer friends than mine lol! Unless you guys meet up weekly or something I don't think you need to orchestrate anything larger for their sake. Although if you want something more formal then go ahead but a simple text should do. If anything after hearing the news they should be treating you to a meal since its your big news.
You have nicer friends than mine lol! Unless you guys meet up weekly or something I don't think you need to orchestrate anything larger for their sake. Although if you want something more formal then go ahead but a simple text should do. If anything after hearing the news they should be treating you to a meal since its your big news.
Lol okay good to know. yeah, that's what I figured. I think the hurt feelings will be more about how clearly there was something going on for a bit since a rishta/engagement didn't just transpire out of nowhere and they weren't informed. :S I'll just text them the night of my baat pakki and let the cat out of the bag at once.
OTOH many years later when I shared other good news, everyone was amazing and AFAIK no one’s feelings were hurt that they weren’t told the very first time. Glad I got rid of those weirdos.
I’d say share it with the few people that know about you and your family issues, and would understand. I read in ur other thread you’re going out of state. I’d go by teh rule that if it was happening here…who would you invite? That’s who you should tell first.
yeah the only reason that I’m only slightly worried is that when a friend of ours got married, she told her 4 bridesmaids (I was one of those) and then had a party at her house with her “close” friends that would’ve been invited to her engagement had they had one (they didn’t). The look on some of these girls’ faces was…shocking. They were happy for her but REALLY upset that they weren’t the first people to find out, given that they were also really good friends with my friend. It was just a lot of drama that I want to avoid with my own situation–since the same girls are close friends with me, as well.
That sucks. Some people are just super weird and sensitive.
Yeah tell me about it.
At the same time, it's frustrating because, again with some of my other friends (and myself) our parents are VERYYYYY adamant that we keep everything a secret until the last possible moment. My parents strictly forbade from telling anyone I knew...some of my friends knew I was with the SO for a while so that didn't work out...whoops. But it's annoying because that type of behavior is usually deemed "sketchy" and ruffles more feathers because the announcement comes out of nowhere.
I don't know if it's just a weird thing that adults in our community have (we have a pretty sucky social circle around these parts, unfortunately) or if it's some kind of thing that everyone does. I get that engagements could break but, call me an attention-whore, I want my engagement to not be a secret.
I dunno, guess they're afraid of nazar or something? How will they feel when it comes to the wedding? I can totally understand wanting to shout any good news from the rooftops, but I guess they havea point too, if the social circle is really crappy, you don't want any negative vibes coming from people?
I told my very close friends over the phone. SO and I then had a dinner where we invited our friends and told them the news at that time. There's no real rule I guess, and people will be upset no matter what so don't worry too much about that!
At the same time, it's frustrating because, again with some of my other friends (and myself) our parents are VERYYYYY adamant that we keep everything a secret until the last possible moment. My parents strictly forbade from telling anyone I knew...some of my friends knew I was with the SO for a while so that didn't work out...whoops. But it's annoying because that type of behavior is usually deemed "sketchy" and ruffles more feathers because the announcement comes out of nowhere.
I don't know if it's just a weird thing that adults in our community have (we have a pretty sucky social circle around these parts, unfortunately) or if it's some kind of thing that everyone does. I get that engagements could break but, call me an attention-whore, I want my engagement to not be a secret.
My fam is like that too, but I agree with them. I do believe in nazar as well, but I have also seen from personal experiences a LOT of engagements breaking off. God forbid if that would happen to me, I wouldn't want to explain it to the whole world. Mine you, SO's fam was totally opposite ha ha.
My fam is like that too, but I agree with them. I do believe in nazar as well, but I have also seen from personal experiences a LOT of engagements breaking off. God forbid if that would happen to me, I wouldn't want to explain it to the whole world. Mine you, SO's fam was totally opposite ha ha.
yeah that's how my SO's fam is too. They wanna shout it from the rooftop and everyone in his family already knows and is super excited. My family...literally no one besides my siblings and parents know. And I still get the "when are you gonna get married?" lecture from my elders so I kinda just want to tell them. lol I get what they mean though, having to explain a broken engagement would be sucky but Its just usually really hard for me to keep stuff like that a secret so I'm dying on the inside. lol.
My friends will have to make do with a text the night before the engagement. With my family's unpredictable behavior, I don't want to get over-excited for no reason until it is clear that I'm getting that dang ring
soconfused, seriously your family and mine are so similar! We're thinking about getting married in May 2015, and my mom doesn't want to announce my engagement/wedding until end of January 2015. Crazy! But she did the same with my sister who got married in June and she announced it in Feb. It truly is a matter of nazar and gossip. My SO is a doctor so I think people would talk about how i pulled off a rishta with a doctor, not being one myself. Unfortunately that is how people are these days. Gossip just for gossips sake. My mom wants to minimize all of that negative energy and I can't really argue with her. I too get the "shaadi kab karni hai?" speech, from elders AND people my age that are married. WTF? Inside I just wanna scream and be like, I ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE! JUST YOU WAIT! But oh well. In due time. My closest friends already know about the SO so a simple status change on Facebook will be enough for them I feel or a text. The rest of the family friends will find out through my mom anyway so coupled with the Facebook announcement I think it will be sufficient.
soconfused, seriously your family and mine are so similar! We're thinking about getting married in May 2015, and my mom doesn't want to announce my engagement/wedding until end of January 2015. Crazy! But she did the same with my sister who got married in June and she announced it in Feb. It truly is a matter of nazar and gossip. My SO is a doctor so I think people would talk about how i pulled off a rishta with a doctor, not being one myself. Unfortunately that is how people are these days. Gossip just for gossips sake. My mom wants to minimize all of that negative energy and I can't really argue with her. I too get the "shaadi kab karni hai?" speech, from elders AND people my age that are married. WTF? Inside I just wanna scream and be like, I ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE! JUST YOU WAIT! But oh well. In due time. My closest friends already know about the SO so a simple status change on Facebook will be enough for them I feel or a text. The rest of the family friends will find out through my mom anyway so coupled with the Facebook announcement I think it will be sufficient.
haha yeah, it's a similar thing in my case. We have a lot of fam drama in general but my SO is a med student and ours isn't arranged (the first on in the family to have a "love" marriage) so that's gonna cause LOTS of rumors. On top of that, he's not from my zaat which my mom's family puts a lot of stupid emphasis on, so they want to wait till the last possible moment to announce. If anything, I'm just gonna block the haters in the family from my fb when I announce it. lol.
