Baahir ki larkiyan

[Southie]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

@SaeedinPakistan

Probably. I’ve never dated, so my observation could be flawed. And my university didn’t have a lot of girls, so yeah my observation isn’t the final word on this.

Hmm.

I definitely don’t want my kids wearing that. I hope they don’t.

Yahan English bilkul aam nahi hui. But there are people who can nail an American accent.

I did a double take when I finished reading exactly 90% of the last sentence.

[Reha]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

He is wrong. The vast majority of guys dont get the opportunity to have flings and affairs. even if they did, experience in a man shouldnt worry a woman like vice versa ;)

This is a very odd statement. Why shouldn't it worry a woman? Can't a man get STD's? Get someone pregnant? Its more worrisome for the women because they can't tell where men have been.

Anyway,

Everyone I see that comes from Pakistan these days seems to be coming from a more Westernized society than even the West itself. And apparently, its something to be proud of.

[NaMaan]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

There is pretty much nothing different when it comes to what desi girls and guys do here in America to what they do in Pakistan . Dating ... Yes ... Drinking ... Yes ... Smoking ... Yes ...

So bottom line is that if you are kinda person who likes to drink then you would do it even if you are sitting in a mosque .

[SaeedinPakistan]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

I did a double take when I finished reading exactly 90% of the last sentence.

Southieeeeeeeee!
I didn't think of it, until you pointed it out :D

[khattichic]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

@Reha

This is a very odd statement. **Why shouldn’t it worry a woman? Can’t a man get STD’s? Get someone pregnant? **Its more worrisome for the women because they can’t tell where men have been.

Anyway,

Everyone I see that comes from Pakistan these days seems to be coming from a more Westernized society than even the West itself. And apparently, its something to be proud of.

Word. Ain’t got no time for baby mama drama

[SaeedinPakistan]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

[quote="“NaMaan, post:21, topic:271954"”]

There is pretty much nothing different when it comes to what desi girls and guys do here in America to what they do in Pakistan . Dating … Yes … Drinking … Yes … Smoking … Yes …

So bottom line is that if you are kinda person who likes to drink then you would do it even if you are sitting in a mosque .
[/quote]

@Reha

Everyone I see that comes from Pakistan these days seems to be coming from a more Westernized society than even the West itself. And apparently, its something to be proud of.

I don’t know how desi’s live out there in the West. But I’m pretty sure the kind of freedom you can have as an adult living on his own in the West, can’t be had over here in Pakistan. You know what kind of freedom I’m talking about.

I have never heard of live in boyfriends or girlfriends here in Karachi, so I’m pretty sure it isn’t more “modernized” than the West.

[madz124]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

I don't know how desi's live out there in the West. But I'm pretty sure the kind of freedom you can have as an adult living on his own in the West, can't be had over here in Pakistan. You know what kind of freedom I'm talking about.

I have never heard of live in boyfriends or girlfriends here in Karachi, so I'm pretty sure it isn't more "modernized" than the West.

I think upbringing pe bohut depend karta hai how you turn out as an adult. Most of us living in the West belong to middle or upper-middle class families in Pakistan, who faced many challenges after coming here. And growing up (as kids or teens) we have seen our parents struggle so much, so we have a deep appreciation of the finer things in life and we respect our freedom and boundaries very well. Compared to this, those of us who belong to upper class in Pakistan and always had things handed to us on a silver platter, when these kind come to the West they are very spoiled and used to getting their way.
So yeah, west main bhi there is a good mix of good and bad. Just like there is in Pakistan.
You can't say that just because someone lives in the West, they are more "modernized", or just because someone lives in Pakistan they are very pious and naik shareef.

In my social circle, I see all kinds of families...and this is coming from 12+ years of living in Toronto. No one I know had a live in boyfriend or girlfriend, no matter how westernized they are. That is not to say that it doesn't happen. I have seen a few single guys who come here as international students and live in a luxury apartment downtown / drive a BMW or Benz from day one / and date anyone and everyone from all skin colors. So, at times, I have also wondered if certain people in Pakistan are more westernized than majority of Pakistanis living in the west.

[madz124]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

As an example, this summer I went to a wedding of a family friend's daughter, who grew up in Canada and sponsored her husband from Pakistan. The guy's parents and sister also attended the wedding here in Toronto. Out of the 15 or so girl friends of the bride, the nand (dulha's sis) was the most prominent, mainly because of her bold dresses, the way she was taking pics with dulhan's brothers and their guy friends (practically hugging them), and her dancing (munni badnam, sheila ki jawani and what not) that went late into the night. She was quite the talk of the town.
Mazay ki baat yeh ke she wants to stay in Canada so she enrolled in a college here (she has done masters from back home). Meanwhile, dulhan's ammi is actively trying to find her a Canadian desi boy. But after seeing her at the wedding events, no one in our circle thinks she is a good fit for families like us, so they are not having much luck.

[SaeedinPakistan]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

I think upbringing pe bohut depend karta hai how you turn out as an adult. Most of us living in the West belong to middle or upper-middle class families in Pakistan, who faced many challenges after coming here. And growing up (as kids or teens) we have seen our parents struggle so much, so we have a deep appreciation of the finer things in life and we respect our freedom and boundaries very well. Compared to this, those of us who belong to upper class in Pakistan and always had things handed to us on a silver platter, when these kind come to the West they are very spoiled and used to getting their way. So yeah, west main bhi there is a good mix of good and bad. Just like there is in Pakistan. You can't say that just because someone lives in the West, they are more "modernized", or just because someone lives in Pakistan they are very pious and naik shareef.

In my social circle, I see all kinds of families...and this is coming from 12+ years of living in Toronto. No one I know had a live in boyfriend or girlfriend, no matter how westernized they are. That is not to say that it doesn't happen. I have seen a few single guys who come here as international students and live in a luxury apartment downtown / drive a BMW or Benz from day one / and date anyone and everyone from all skin colors. So, at times, I have also wondered if **certain **people in Pakistan are more westernized than majority of Pakistanis living in the west.

The keyword is certain types.
And some people do lose it when they see all this freedom. They just go nuts. They let lose whatever was being repressed back home.

[krmaml1]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

@Ghost14

From speaking to my cousins and people I know, there is a lot of dating in some circles. A friend of mine who goes to Kinnaird College says that half the girls there have boyfriends, some have multiple, and many are also sexually active. And these are the girls.

Some of my cousins and their friends are also dating, while hiding it from their parents of course. Not sure how physical it is though. So from my experience, Pakistan is not exactly as “pure” as our parents like to think it is.

@madz124

The thing is, majority of Pakistani guys don’t have the resources to study or work abroad independently. So I think he was referring to the few who do manage to find a way out…such guys have to be clever/smart/go-getters and financially well…and (I think what he meant was) if the guy is like that and of a certain age, then it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he would have been considered popular or desirable back home too…thus, having a colourful past is to be expected.

This particular guy has traveled to many countries for work and now trying to settle down in Canada. I felt like he was trying to justify his past relationships (the ones he had during his work terms in Karachi) by giving me the impression that college/uni culture in Pakistan (esp. in big cities) has “progressed” so much these days. People date and it’s no big deal. It’s nothing serious; it’s more like having a good time. And he assured me that it never went as far as the bedroom…that it was just casual dating and hanging out. And to further justify this “common” behaviour, he said his younger brother (in Pakistan) has two girlfriends right now (and then he laughed).

The thing that surprised me is that his family (in Pak) is really simple and educated … I would say, they belong to middle class. So I don’t know how he can be so different and be such a player. He is average looking…but very confident. He goes, Pakistan main tu aaj kal English itni aam ho gayi hai, wahan ki larkiyan tumse bhi achi English bolti hain with accent. ok buddy!

Its important to make a distinction b/w Casual sex/affairs/flings/hooking up etc on one hand and dating (bf-gf) committed relationships on the other. While the latter is quite common and the average Pakistani guy can be expected to have had 1 or 2 gf’s before he gets married, the former are not.

When people say something along the lines of “Pakistan youth bhi bohat agay nikal gayi hai” they usually refer to the prevalence of committed gf/bf relationships.

Regardless of social status, the opportunity to have casual sex, flings, affairs etc is only available to really good looking, attractive guys. Some rich guys might be able to leverage their lifestyle and attract women drawn to the same, for this purpose. Besides this the prevalence of such promiscuity is mostly blown out of proportions, and what we hear are the same urban legends of a handful

[krmaml1]

Re: Baahir ki larkiyan

This is a very odd statement. Why shouldn't it worry a woman? Can't a man get** STD's**? Get someone pregnant? Its more worrisome for the women because they can't tell where men have been. .

There are other worries for men, besides the STD concern, regarding women with a (rather promiscuous) sexual past.