Re: Baahir ki larkiyan
Well, you can’t find out everything about someone. And even if you have been dating for some time, it’s still an adjustment when you start living together.
And why do people assume that just because a person was raised here, they must be very open minded and must want to take control of their life? As I mentioned my family is more on the conservative side. I’d be lucky if I get to meet the person (in absence of family) more than once or twice.
I agree but not all families think this is the best approach. Some believe if you give “kids” a chance to talk, they will either get too attached which will create problems in case things don’t go well between parents. Or they will find out too much about each other and decline the proposal based on petty issues.
No, it wasn’t like that. Their family is in Pakistan and to date, we haven’t met in person. My relatives went to see the guy and we spoke on the phone. For some reason, we (me and him) really clicked and after some time, his family formally asked for rishta and it was agreed that we will do nikah instead of engagement (because sponsorship takes 2+ years). But a few months later, his family started giving us red flags and when my parents called to discuss nikah plans, they basically said no (and not in a nice way).
So the time wastage was more after the “haan” and to date, we are confused as to what their issues were, why they didn’t discuss anything, and why they backed out.
I didn’t say there aren’t very many educated guys. What I said was, a lot of guys aren’t very educated and the ones who are, they are too westernized or too stuck up.
A lot of the times, a mutual friend would inquire with my mom and it’s a no right away because the guy studied up to college or undergrad only. Won’t you agree that the guy should be more educated/ambitious career-wise, compared to the girl?
I don’t know. Maybe we are not approaching it the right way. Like my parents aren’t very social. As for me, I would like to be able to go out more, but I work and go home. And weekends are reserved for house chores and family time. So where am I supposed to meet someone?
lol the nick was inspired by nadz. She is pure entertainment.
Thank you! I hope so.
Yar, Pakistan main bhi bohut achi achi families hain. Some of my cousins back home got married over the last couple years and they managed to find very decent, highly educated, financially well, and cultured families. The reason my parents are a bit hesitant about finding someone here is because they say it is very hard to do the background search here, because everybody minds their own business and no one knows what’s really going. In comparison, in Pakistan, everyone is up in everyone’s business and it is relatively easier to verify certain details about the guy and his family.
A friend of mine here got married to someone from here and later found out he was already married to a “gori” and her nikah was annulled. She was pregnant at the time, and had to abort the child. Not to mention all the heartache she went through. The guy’s family wanted their next generation to be desi so they didn’t approve of his first marriage and hid the info from my friend. Cases like these are really scary!