Usually, when you have folks from Pakistan moving to amreeka or visiting there’s the B.O. problem. I understand that its not considered part of “culture” to be careful about this hygenic aspect of personal life in Pakistan, but its considered pretty offensive in amreeka.
If I bring this up to the newly arrived, I am not sure if they’ll be offended or embarrrased or both. I certainly don’t want to make them feel uncomrtable with this discussion, but I think they should be “educated” about this part of amreeekan culture.
How should this be approached. Should I just buy them a stick and explain? Should I discuss it and if so, what would be the right way? Or should I let an elder person talk to the dude & dedette?
This is a geniune problem. I have many times told people that they smell and they should use deodrant. Of course, I have not put it as bluntly but nevertheless have always given them my 'positive feedback' on their personal hygiene.
Another point is that most of the time people use expensive perfume but for deodrants, they still go for mainstream brands like Gillette etc. Now, Gillette is not a bad brand at all and is quite effective but the problem is that some people over use it and you end up having two different types of frangrances oozing out. Most of the frangrances have their complimentary deodrant sticks as well. My advice is to spend a bit more money and buy deodrant of the same brand (and frangrance) that of your perfume. And please, go easy on the spray!
Now Roman just may come here and say that you're one of those recently arrived that I have referred to in my original post. Just ignore him like I do...
I would say talk to them about it if you can..if you don't feel comfortable..make a written list of things..something like Facts for newcomers or you can pick a title..hand them the list..and hopefully if they have any problems or concerns they'll ask you.
mix equal amounts of brute and old spice and let them stay under sun for two days. Use the compound on your face, arm pits, and.... well, in your case I know you can't resist using on some other body parts too. Gillette waghaira say tumhein kuch nahi honay wala.
ghalib, tujhay soonghany ko jo bohot milti hai issi liyay sub pata hai tujhay.
Pardon me, but you guys are making it sound as if each and every desi suffers from this B.O syndrome, and that every amreekan is a khilta huwa gulab.
Maybe its a problem with a few.....but then again, so is the case everywhere. All around the world you will find people who stink, whether you go to Japan, Switzerland or the US. And on the same token, people from Pakistan dont smell across the board. Thats an uneducated assumption...sorry.
Plus, there are different reasons as to why a person would smell. And moreover, whether the smell is good or bad is our personal attitude. I have smelt quite a few so called pricey colognes and deodorants, ones that I wouldnt touch a second time with a 10 foot pole.
If a person smells because he has a habit of not showering, then thats a problem..yes. Cleanliness is important...very important. But dumping on a bucket of cologne should not be a pre-req to going out or visiting people.
When desis smell because of the food that they have cooked, they are termed as folks with horrible B.O. even though its a third party software thats causing the problem. Whereas when in the US, drunkards wreak of alcohol and beer, we blame nothing but the beer. Comon guys.
If they are clean, (showered with clean clothes) leave them alone. If they are dirty, then u have a point.
Umm.. the worst part of the whole deal is that if a person has B.O., s/he won't know it unless someone tells them, and it takes a lot of tact to say something like that, otherwise it is a surefire way to offend someone. Mostly a general discussion on different brands of deodrants and asking the person his/her personal favorite seems to be just the right way to approach this topic. :)
Bad breath is another major problem. And it can't be covered through colognes or perfumes or deodrants. And sometimes its nothing to do with not brushing. A doctor once was saying that bad breath is mostly caused by germs in the stomach and bad digestive system. Those "Life Saver" and mint chewing gums do the trick many times, though it may require medical attention.
I agree completely with Akif, that this is not a desi/non-desi issue. It can be with anyone.
I don;t think we're making uneducated assumtions here about any specific group. Infact, this thread is not about "desis smell and others don't"!! Since I only deal with recieving desis when they're coming from back home, I wanted to limit this thread to discussion of desis only.
And there are reason for exlcluding others in this thread. We have a different set of ettiquettes and a different level of sensitivity regarding a'daabs when dealing with elders and talking to them then the types you have mentioned. Heck, even when we're conversing, we're suppose to maintain a level of respect (e.g. referring to elders with titles like uncle, baji, khala, khalloo blahh blah to convey our respects). This is my dilemma.. I want to get the message across in a way that they'll understand and yet I still maintain my respect and not offend/embarrass them. So lets leave out which ethnic group stinks and which ones don't and whether its general or not. Thats not the issue here.
Peacemaker is right that sometimes these folks are not even aware of this "issue" and realize how offensive it maybe to others, espcially in amreeka and that makes it all the more tougher.
When desis smell because of the food that they have cooked, they are termed as folks with horrible B.O.
Nope!!! I am not talking about the spice smell here either. Though a bit annoying, its not as offensive
Akif, I think ghalib was specifically talking about new arrivals from Pakistan and I think the reason he mentioned is because usually those people are your relatives or friends etc with whom you are closer and show them around. If you smell anything from them, you want to tell them out of sincerity not criticism. However, some people may take offense of it and I think that's what ghalib's point was.
Americans stink too, and if you are close friends with them then yeh, you tell them too otherwise you don't go about telling everybody whom you meet on the street that they stink.
It's not a cologn problem. You can wear clean clothes, take a shower and not use a cologn and still be fine up until few hours later when your armpits start smelling. Or you can do all the above, use a deodorant and not use a cologn and would just be fine.
Deodrants are supposed to suppress the BO, not intended to be (over)used to have waves of frangrance oozing out.
Will just like to point out, that using deodrants is fine, but don't use anti-perspirants.
Though the studies are in initial stages, but I am sure none of us will like to take chances with cancer, and anti-perspirant deodrants seem to cause breast cancer because they suppress sweat inside the body which can turn malignant due to continuous use.
Just thought to share this with you folks, since we are talking about deodrants et al.
Ahmmm..... Akif. Please can you move over there, on that corner. Thank you. :)
The problem is not to bury the bad smell, but rather to defuse it with having more 'good' smell. Not everyone smells, and not everyone appreciates bad smell (some do, when they call it mehnat ka paseena). Neo-cultural influences suggest that we should smell nice. If someone sweats a lot, and consequently smells too, he is not required to suppress all that sweat, rather he should have enough good smell to neutralize the bad smell so that those around him are not ewwwe'ing their nose and moving away.
major cause of B.O. is armpit hair.. some people seem to have some aversion to keeping it trimmed regularly..
it usually keeps BO in check..
as BO is caused by bacteria munching on the sweat.. to control BO you need to kill the bacteria..
another thing you can use especially in summer months .. is the no water hand wash - they are alcohol based and kill the bacteria.. you can buy them from Wal-mart or any other grocery store or Boots in UK..
I once worked at an office where this sweetest old indian man had a pretty bad B.O. problem. Now this guy is pretty well known..well to do..a pseudo-politician, and perhaps that was exactly why no one ever had the courage to tell him he reeked. I didn’t either Regardless of how nice he was.. I used to end up holding my breath while talking to him.
Most of the times however..I find myself encountering the problem at the other end of the spectrum. People that over-do their perfume. What is this with some men and cologne? Do they soak their shirts in it over-night? surprisingly enough and with my luck..i’m stuck again with such a dude at work.. How to tell him to go easy on the splash? I don’t know.
With close desi family.. I say take them out to a mall casually… go to a drug store.. pick up a stick, flash it in front of their eyes and say.. “hey..this new brand looks better than what I use.. cool. I think i’ll try it. aap ko to nahi chahiyyay?”
Regardless of how nice he was.. I used to end up holding my breath while talking to him.