[b]Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

[CuR10u]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

OMG.....i was looking at IQ categorizations in an article, and as you (Honourable DarkEyedDreamer) said your IQ is 150+, you are a super genius sis! ..... No wonder while i read couple of your posts and knowing ur age, i was feeling she looks like a jewel.

So according to the table in that article, people of ur IQ are "1 in 11000". And lets say in a population of 1 billion muslims, people of your calibre would be 90909 (and may be less). And further trimming it down to the people who are unmarried + of your age or around + practicing muslims + educated; it could be a dozen or two guys. And of them, many would not be in ur locality or surroundings. So yes, you will really have hard time in finding your mate :) ......... other way is to reduce your IQ level for the mate and increase ur odds.

@the game

You are 15 for God's sake. Shut up and go to school.

This was totally indecent.....youngsters should also be respected and specially ones with talent like hers.

[system]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

i must admit its all very intelligently put up into words.. and that is where the IQ reflects itself .. i personally think these questions come up in every other person's minds .. it is either that we never realise / think about em , or we are not brave enuff to look into the eyes of realities

[Mamaof3]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

The best thing that I could tell you is that you are not the person today that you will be 5 or 10 years from now. Others have alluded to this here but its just such an important point that it cannot be stressed enough. At the age of 15, you have certain ideas and ideals about the life that you want for yourself. You aim yourself and dedicate yourself to those for now, nothing else matters. But then, when you get to age 20 or 25, your ideals and ideas will be different from what they are today. So making a match today will not ensure that the match will endure these critical years. Just give it time and focus on other things for now. Thats the best way to ensure that your prince charming will come. Mine did. It didnt happen till I was into my 30s but some of us take more time to mature I guess. As they say, "patience is a virtue" and it was so very worth the wait to get my prince charming!

[system]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns?

@CuR10u$

DarkEyedDreamer…mashallah, you have very good writing skills, and i can guess your level of intelligence from it. Your age is 15, but your maturity/mental age is more than that; probably in late 20s when girls seriously think about a partner. That’s why you are thinking ahead of time. Don’t worry about that issue right now, and divert your concerns to something which is important. And the important thing is, you can really make a difference using your intellect. Be it in academics, research, religion, other innovations etc. I’m sure you can do a lot better than others :biggthumb

i totally agree … concentrate on school puruse a career establish an identity for urself )… and leave the rest to ALLAH.

[ilated]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

15-figured

[mAd_ScIeNtIsT]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

Keep this worries for now .. you can't magically make them disappear.

However, over the next 6-8 years your personality will change dramatically (this happens to everyone during that age range) and what you look for is likely to change too.

[Mr_Fraudia]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

well guys whoever is in awe of the IQ and maturity have missed one point very clearly. maturity would also mean that the person is realistic, and does not want a photocopy of oneself in the opposite gender. Yo dont have to have teh same IQ, you dont have to be on the same status economically, you dont have to have the same interests... none of these are imperative for a successful marriage.

I have friends, gusy and girls, who are not married because of their rather strange criteria.

one 27 year old lady wants the guy to be 'boyish looking' as if every year that she wastes guys are becoming more boyish looking. One specfically said she wants a guy who has cultural interests like the opera.. I mean wtf.. opera..guys... now she is in her 30's and I have known her for over a decade. when she ws in her early 20's I had told her.. u know u are not going to find a guy who is into opera at 25-26.

what people also do not realize is that people change and evolve, and you have to look at the fiundation. Is the person soemone you can see yourself spending your life, interests change, old ones fade, new ones come up, some stay constant.

A made to order mate is simply not possible..not yet.

and the more specific people get on minutia, the more theya re steing themselves up for either not finding anyone, or finding someone who meets all that criteria and as both of them change over the years, the thing falling apart.

good composition skills, vocabulary and deep evaluation of some potential future situation does not indicate maturity, it does indicate intelligence, but at 15, the person is too inexperienced and all to be able to really.

In the end the post also says that she is concerned due to her parents bad marriage, well..almost anyone an find faults in their parents or friends or siblings marrige, or their own, life is not perfect, it will not be, it can not be. looking at a handful of bad examples as the future fte also indicates a lack of understanding and being out of touch with reality.

[CuR10u]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

^Agree with u Fraudia sahab.

[cat-woman]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns?

@Mamaof3

The best thing that I could tell you is that you are not the person today that you will be 5 or 10 years from now. Others have alluded to this here but its just such an important point that it cannot be stressed enough. At the age of 15, you have certain ideas and ideals about the life that you want for yourself. You aim yourself and dedicate yourself to those for now, nothing else matters. But then, when you get to age 20 or 25, your ideals and ideas will be different from what they are today. So making a match today will not ensure that the match will endure these critical years. Just give it time and focus on other things for now. Thats the best way to ensure that your prince charming will come. Mine did. It didnt happen till I was into my 30s but some of us take more time to mature I guess. As they say, “patience is a virtue” and it was so very worth the wait to get my prince charming!

Thankyou, I didn’t have the energies to write what you just said. Mo3 should be resident Agony Aunt.

[sadzzz]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

i agree with both Fraudz and Mof3... :)

another thing is... people dream of is a pefect marriage and there is no harm in doing so.. but what really is a perfect marriage? is it one where the couple never argue? one where the hubby works and wife stays home and hubby brings wife pressies and things all the time? is it one we're both are working and earn high salaries and so they can do watever they want... what really is a perfect marriage?

a perfect marriage is different for every individual.. i think mine is perfect regardless of the tiffs we have. It's because i expected them, i expected the tension.. who doesnt? but the person i married is my prince charming.. my knight in shining armour.. and thats all that matters..

at 15, i dont think anyone really has any idea of what kind of person they want to marry... yes u have hopes and dreams and this hope of ending up with someone out of ur imagination, but that's what being a teenager is all about.. about dreaming.. and hoping.

when you 'grow up' u realise these hopes and dreams are all good and stuff, but not realistic at all. there's so much more to a person than having similar interests.. so much more to love than that.. and u'll learn about it as u grow older.. and once u do find ur perfect match, u'll laff at the things u put priority on at 15 :)

[Man_with_a_Plan]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

Everything will be fine, just stop watching Bollywood movies.

[Mr_Fraudia]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

and desi dramas...damn if i had to watch bano qudsia and ashfaq ahmed marhooms stuff as a primary source of entertainment, i would probably jump out of a window

[niyal]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns?

everything ending up at dramas… this requires good brought up .. not dramas

[Zgard]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns?

DarkEyedDreamer the reason why no man come close to wut u want in a husband means that u have to wait more because if u can find him in every man u meet then wuts so special about marriage

[nia_khan]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

You are 15 *smack

wait for another 10 years right person will come i yourself and you will know

*smack.. if my daughter post something like this at this age and thinks fo marriage i wanna smack myself

at the age of 15 i was honestly either busy studying or pretending to be macho woman

[skhan]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

^ some things never change :D

[nia_khan]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

skhan pa ji you are right somethings really dont change *smack

[Dubaiwali]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

sweety first of all my IQ is more than you, secondly i am extremely sprtiual and religious as well but i got my guy and thirdly its ok dont worry you just 15 wait till you are 18 like me then think about this stuff

[unbiased]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

firstly ur IQ doesnt matter, a marriage is about compromise u've got to remember that u will never find someone with exactly the same intrests as u bt u can find someone with similaritys to ur personality, which isnt alwys a good idea either, the best option is to wait a few years till ur older and really ready for marriage, then Allah will guide u, InshaAllah.

Allah says in the Quraan, he has created the pious & pure men for the pious & pure women and vice versa, also he has created the unpure men for the unpure women and vice versa ( may Allah forgive me if i have mis translated)

[CuR10u]

Re: **Can anyone relate to my marriage concerns? :(

@aishaindubai

sweety first of all my IQ is more than you, secondly i am extremely sprtiual and religious as well but i got my guy and thirdly its ok dont worry you just 15 wait till you are 18 like me then think about this stuff

jeeez!..... it means Cafe is full of damn Genius people like you eh!.... either all the research work/analysis out there is wrong, or you were misinformed. How did u calculate ur IQ?....... What i 've read abt people with IQ 150+ is that they fall under genius/extra ordinary category which is next to the group of Albert Einstein (160-IQ). Some studies show, these people ended up graduating from schools like Stanford, Berkeley and CalTech. And also got honours like "Phi Beta Kappa" and "Sigma Xi" etc. If we have such talent on this forum in that extent then, wow!... we are so lucky.

And BTW ....."extremely spiritual and religious" people never waste their time and indulge in "laguv" (useless stuff) like "fuzool batein" on chatting/forums. Plz go learn what does "extremely spiritual and religious" means.