Re: Attraction
I don't think you should ever go the "- ho jayega/badal jayega"-route when you're considering someone for marriage. Keep it as it is right now, no "aise waise" or "time se", it doesn't work that way, IMO.
^^ That's something that only works in Humera whatshername's novels or Pakistani dramas.
Re: Attraction
hahahahhaha
you didnt see mila kunis face. you can laugh like this
Is this for me? Yeah i'm not going ahead with it but God's cruel. The ones i'm intensely attracted to aren't compatible.
no not for u. for op. hadnt read ur post. God isnt cruel, Ever, some more wait helps.
Re: Attraction
haha what do you mean
shes superrrr pretty
you didnt see mila kunis face. you can laugh like this
no not for u. for op. hadnt read ur post. God isnt cruel, Ever, some more wait helps.
Re: Attraction
Yeah, I wonder what attracted her to a (married) multimillionaire film producer :D
^money. ....
I can't imagine marrying a man for his money. It would be utter torture because even if i'm living the rich life, I would have to be intimate with him and live with him on an every day basis. That's why I say everybody is different, there are women that would marry strictly for money regardless of no compatibility or no attraction or any other reason.
Re: Attraction
What if you're just not attracted to your spouse and you play the whole we're-compatible-so-eventually-love-ho-jayega and that just doesn't pan out?
Those are two different things though...if you're compatible it IS possible to develop physical attraction.
If you're not physically attracted though, how compatible can you be?
Re: Attraction
PCG - It will NOT work. Attraction is everything. The hubby needs to be a hottie. Keep in mind...when hubby puts on the marriage weight (cuz he will) you will definetly need a nice face to look at! If the face is ugly and then he also puts on weight...well then its all over.
Re: Attraction
Well what if he is cute but you're just not feeling any carnal urges?
Re: Attraction
If he is cute but you are still not feeling it....then perhaps you and him just lack "chemistry."
Re: Attraction
That's the point of this thread. If someone is compatible and they're easy on the eyes, but you don't feel any urges prior to marriage, is that common with arranged marriages?
Re: Attraction
Why is it necessary to feel urges prior to marriage? You must be meeting up for coffee or something...that isn't exactly going to "set the mood" now is it? If the guy is easy on the eyes and compatible, then give him a chance. The rest will fall in place once you are married.
Re: Attraction
Beauty is only skin deep while ugliness stays forever. If you are marrying for stability then beauty has nothing to do with it. :D
Re: Attraction
What kind of urges do you want?! Like…the urge to snog them right there in the public? Being attracted to someone is a lot different than having urges 
That's the point of this thread. If someone is compatible and they're easy on the eyes, but you don't feel any urges prior to marriage, is that common with arranged marriages?
Then why pursue it? Unless your being forced into which by your case doesn't seem so then move on. Not everything will be perfectly aligned but you know the things that are a deal breaker or not so this may also be one of those. Each person is different.
Re: Attraction
PCG 
Re: Attraction
^leave her alone you
Re: Attraction
What if you're just not attracted to your spouse and you play the whole we're-compatible-so-eventually-love-ho-jayega and that just doesn't pan out?
It is VERY TRUE because Allah automatically put love in your hearts. Women are sensitive so they automatically start loving the guy if he is fulfilling all her needs and treating her like a princess. Bit attraction in any form is important which could be intelligence, personality, or etc.
Re: Attraction
I'm trying to talk and get to know someone that I am not attracted to at all. I just don't feel comfortable with at all. Highly educated, two phds and very religious, very knowledgeable on religious issues which is a big plus and he can cook really delicious stuff, But I must have met him in person 3 or 4 times now and I'm trying to get myself attracted to him. I feel absolutely nothing for him. zilch zero blah. He does see abcds as know nothing about our culture people which is a negative. Then again no one is perfect. He's having green card problems and is looking for an American desi to marry....he jokes about that.
I guess there are people that can be married to someone they are not attracted to at all or they are not attracted to you at all. I don't understand that.
I'd rather be single.
The way a man looks at me and what I feel when I look into his eyes is so important when it comes to attraction. I've been attracted to a guy with glasses, skinny, but his easy going personality and just the way he looked at me was so awesome. There has to be that special thing behind the eyes not as much physical attraction.
Are you afraid of admitting that looks matter?
You could've just said that the double 2xPhd guy is physically unattractive.
[QUOTE]
I've been attracted to a guy with glasses,
[/QUOTE]
And the point is? Plenty of guys who wear glasses are good looking. Plenty of people who dont wear them are ugly. Whats your point again?
Re: Attraction
What if you're just not attracted to your spouse and you play the whole we're-compatible-so-eventually-love-ho-jayega and that just doesn't pan out?
there is nothing that "love ho jaye ga". People live in denial and name it that in arrange marriage you eventually fall in love .. but the truth is that in arrange marriage you will eventually LEARN how to live with the one which has been chosen for you. You don't have a choice so better live with it ...
wo kahtay hai na .. if rape is un-avoidable then enjoy it .. thats what happens in arrange.
and to answer your question .. It will pan out .. if not by the hubby/wife then by the involvment of their parents. It will happen again and again and eventually the couple will learn that we have no choice except him/her so better bring our level down or adapt to what our partner is .. its like pushing a person in water and eventually either the person would evolove to be an excellent swimmer .. or the water will increase its density to let him float.
Re: Attraction
Are you afraid of admitting that looks matter?
You could've just said that the double 2xPhd guy is physically unattractive.
And the point is? Plenty of guys who wear glasses are good looking. Plenty of people who dont wear them are ugly. Whats your point again?
All i was saying is that the expression and the love and caring has to come through in the eyes even if the guy was not conventionally handsome how he looks at me matters. The eyes speak volumes. I rarely feel it with most men only a few. It's like an instant connection where you just feel so very comfortable with that person and like you've known the person for years. They bring a certain calmness to you.
And no I don't mean physical attractiveness because I have felt absolutely nothing for a man that was conventionally handsome because I just felt nothing for him or in his eyes when we spent time together. That just might be that he felt nothing for me. With certain people you just click and feel a certain intensity, spark that has nothing to do with physical attraction.
Re: Attraction
Eye to eye…
Nain mataka… 