What if you’re just not attracted to your spouse and you play the whole we’re-compatible-so-eventually-love-ho-jayega and that just doesn’t pan out?
Re: Attraction
Unless he is repulsive I don't think that will be a problem. Are you only talking about physical attraction or personality as well? Some people are not straight away attracted to people physically but once the get to know the person they get attracted to them. Otherwise it can be a problem unless you are willing to stick with this marriage for the sake of it.
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physical
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Unless you have a really unattractive spouse, I don't see how anyone can't be not attracted. I think it depends on your desperation to love and care for someone or your desire to have the most beautiful SO there is. I think we humans can live with just about anyone, you just have to learn to adapt. Even if your SO is a model, you can still detest them on other things. Beauty is only Skin deep. After you've slept with each other for a while then the real start begins. Two beautiful people can hate each other too. I think people should try to get along with their spouses based on how they are as people and not how they look like. Rather shallow way of thinking imp.
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why would you marry someone that you don't find attractive at all? like not even the least bit attractive? I'm sure no girl would do that despite how much compatibility there is, unless he's PERFECT in every other aspect.
Anyways, my fiance is damn hot so hopefully i would never have this problem. but if he got fat or something, i'd tell him to start taking care of himself.
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You know if there is no chemistry now..there isnt gonna be one either in the future. Compatibility and chemistry are two different things.
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Unless he is repulsive I don't think that will be a problem.
Very nice.. Boht khoob.
Just curious. What percentage of desi women, in your opinion, do you speak on behalf of?
Beauty is only a light switch away.
Re: Attraction
It may work out but as most say but I wonder if it's worth taking the chance. I would say it's better not to take the risk.
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I think if you don't find your rishta attractive, you shouldn't pursue it.
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I don't think you should ever go the "- ho jayega/badal jayega"-route when you're considering someone for marriage. Keep it as it is right now, no "aise waise" or "time se", it doesn't work that way, IMO.
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Unless you have a really unattractive spouse, I don't see how anyone can't be not attracted. I think it depends on your desperation to love and care for someone or your desire to have the most beautiful SO there is.** I think we humans can live with just about anyone, you just have to learn to adapt. Even if your SO is a model, you can still detest them on other things. Beauty is only Skin deep. After you've slept with each other for a while then the real start begins. Two beautiful people can hate each other too. I think people should try to get along** with their spouses based on how they are as people and not how they look like. Rather shallow way of thinking imp.
Perhaps she wants more than just to 'get along' with her husband? Yes, we can live with just about anyone but am not sure that's what would be considered an ideal marriage..
There should be some sort of attraction or chemistry to start with (that's why we're told to see the person we're marrying first).. unless your idea of marriage is just some sort of 'arrangement' or you're not looking for anything more than a provider of sorts..
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Beauty is only a light switch away.
hahahahhaha
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Unless you have a really unattractive spouse, I don't see how anyone can't be not attracted. I think it depends on your desperation to love and care for someone or your desire to have the most beautiful SO there is. **I think we humans can live with just about anyone, you just have to learn to adapt. **Even if your SO is a model, you can still detest them on other things. Beauty is only Skin deep. After you've slept with each other for a while then the real start begins. Two beautiful people can hate each other too. I think people should try to get along with their spouses based on how they are as people and not how they look like. Rather shallow way of thinking imp.
I think this is a bit disingenuous. While I agree that we should not be shallow and obsess over appearance, I think it is naive and rather dishonest to say that we can live with just about anyone. If that is the case, why is the "rishta" process taken so seriously? Why not simply marry the first proposal we get since living with anyone is so terribly easy after all? And before anyone says "oh, during our parents' generation...," I'd like to be point out that the "rishta" process has never been taken lightly. If adapting were so simple and we could live with anyone, this would not be the case.
When people refer to physical attraction, I doubt that most people are in search of the most beautiful/handsome significant other in the world or even someone who is model attractive. They're simply after someone who is reasonably attractive to them.
Re: Attraction
I'm trying to talk and get to know someone that I am not attracted to at all. I just don't feel comfortable with at all. Highly educated, two phds and very religious, very knowledgeable on religious issues which is a big plus and he can cook really delicious stuff, But I must have met him in person 3 or 4 times now and I'm trying to get myself attracted to him. I feel absolutely nothing for him. zilch zero blah. He does see abcds as know nothing about our culture people which is a negative. Then again no one is perfect. He's having green card problems and is looking for an American desi to marry....he jokes about that.
I guess there are people that can be married to someone they are not attracted to at all or they are not attracted to you at all. I don't understand that.
I'd rather be single.
The way a man looks at me and what I feel when I look into his eyes is so important when it comes to attraction. I've been attracted to a guy with glasses, skinny, but his easy going personality and just the way he looked at me was so awesome. There has to be that special thing behind the eyes not as much physical attraction.
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no don't go for it. Life1 is already brimming with issues.
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Is this for me? Yeah i’m not going ahead with it but God’s cruel. The ones i’m intensely attracted to aren’t compatible.
Obviously her husband loves her a lot even if a third person would ask what mutual attraction is there with this couple.
Obviously the other things match up for them. I always wondered what brought this actress and her husband together.
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^money. ....
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Yeah, I wonder what attracted her to a (married) multimillionaire film producer :D
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Unless you have a really unattractive spouse, I don't see how anyone can't be not attracted. I think it depends on your desperation to love and care for someone or your desire to have the most beautiful SO there is. I think we humans can live with just about anyone, you just have to learn to adapt. Even if your SO is a model, you can still detest them on other things. Beauty is only Skin deep. After you've slept with each other for a while then the real start begins. Two beautiful people can hate each other too. I think people should try to get along with their spouses based on how they are as people and not how they look like. Rather shallow way of thinking imp.
You can't just live with a husband like roommates. If all you wanted was someone to live with, why get married? Physical attraction is somewhat important when it comes to you know...making babies. If everyone started sleeping with another person, and then hoped to be attracted to them, then in that case let's just get rid of the institution of marriage. But alas, we have to get married to someone to do it in the halal way.