My brother turned 28 this year and still refuses to marry. He has different excuses varying from ‘too young’ to ‘I don’t want girls from Pakistan, but modern girls’ 
Whatever…
Anyway, not only does he get comments, but so do we all. My parents tried to marry him, but he keep rejecting girls for one reason or another. Everybody always asks, so when is his turn, he’s getting oooold. While most of our cousins are married by now and fathers of at least two children!
:k: :k:
I did hear a lot from our family, friends, aunties.. so much that I stopped going to certain parties! In my case, I didn’t marry in my early 20’s as I didn’t find the right match. Not that I wanted someone who is totally out of this world, but I wanted someone who is understanding, nice, caring, tolerant.
My parents also married in their late 20’s as my dad was busy in his career and my mom was also studing and later on teaching before they got married to eachother.
.
sweetpie, I don't fall in this cateogry. However, I know of people back home who got married very late or even some who never got married. I think in our society its tougher for women than for men to be unmarried till a late age. However, I do know of some girls who got married in their late twenties/ early thirties or even some who got divorced and then remarried or widowed and then remarried at very late stages in their lives. Most of the married ones are now mashallah very happily married with kids. I also know of some girls who were good looking and decently educated, who got married early but got divorced or widowed. Then there are other women whose husbands remarried. There is such a vast spectrum of the ages and situations of women and marriage.
I truly believe that things like marriage and life and death and children are part of a person's kismat -- fate -- that the Creator has predetermined. Some people have it all but are never happily married. Some people have it all but get divorced. Some people get married but can never have kids. These things can never be forced and it is useless to worry about them. I feel that us Pakistani women should really try to not worry about these things and just enjoy life and live it a day at a time without worrying obsessively about marriage.
What makes me sad is that in our society women are other women's biggest enemy - aurat he aurat kee sab se bari dushman hey. It is always the aunties that will make the younger girl who is getting old and not married feel conscious of the fact. The mother in law will always want a young bride for her son. The sister in law will be the one who will be the first to point out that the girl is not thin/light/homely etc enough. And so on...
We need some female solidarity in our society...big time.
As for people, are people ever happy and do they ever let others be happy? People get jealous easily and people love to talk. I know its difficult not to, but don't care too much about what people say. No body has a perfect life. Many a times people are derive selfish satisfaction by putting others down, specially when they see others happy and see others exploring avenues in life that they never got to explore. We should just try to be confident and happy in what we have and what we do. Do you think a lot of the women who try to make other women feel bad about not being married at a late age are leading perfectly happy married lives themselves? Married life is certainly not a bed of roses. Married life is also full of problems. You know they say that shaadi woh laddu hey jo khao to pachtao, na khao to bhee pachtao.
Not to say that one should become conceited and pay no heed to what others say, but one should not let it affect his/her happiness. What significance do people have in our lives anyway? They can talk and make us feel bad or happy, that too only if we give them that liberty, but they do not really affect our lives in a tangible way.
People are fickle and they just worship the rising sun. If you put up a confident and cheerful front and do not let anyone notice that something is disturbing you, no one will say anything to you to pull you down, and even if out of selfish motivations people do try to put you down, just act unaffected and people will soon stop saying such stuff.
Niqabi…very well said :k: :k: :k: I completely agree.
Most people can not see you happy or unhappy due to their own insecurities, and trust you me, unlike my parents who probably feel societal pressure, I could care less. Know why? Because it is MY life and I shall marry when and who I am comfortable with, not who society is comfortable with (unless society wants to live day in and day out with the person they choose for me and have my babies for me too!)
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Originally posted by ~NiQ@Bi~: *
I truly believe that things like marriage and life and death and children are part of a person's *kismat -- fate -- that the Creator has predetermined.
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Life and death predetermined, yes. However marriage is by no means predetermined by the creator. Allah has clearly given us choice in the matter, who to choose, and when to choose.
:)