at what stage will he introduce me to his family?

Lifestyle Relationships
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Hello everyone…hope everyone ok on here :slight_smile: maybe a few of you will remember me as being the gori girl dating a pakistani guy…back then things were not good..but things seem a lot better now…so I would like to thankyou all for your support!However…there is just one thing…is it true that a muslim man will only bring you home to meet with his family if he 110 per cent plans to marry you because of the no dating in islam etc…I have asked the reason and it is due to the fact that because I am female his family would make assumptions and filter it back to his parents in pakistan…well this is what he says…sometimess I feel like he is hiding something from me…other times I can totally relate to the reason of no dating etc and can only take a girl home once they are pretty sure they want to marry that person…a decision in which he is still trying to figure out!(Thanks for all ur helop btw!!)

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I'm really speechless right now..

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*catwoman

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If I was in his shoes. I would do the same. Because that's what we do.

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When you're pregnant.

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He IS hiding something from you..............he has no intention of marrying you.

Im sorry but you need to move on. You've been warned and told. You'd be much better off using this time recover from him and move on with your life.

Always remember one thing: if a man really wants to marry you............he will make it happen. Its obvious he isnt scared of his family because he didnt take their permission when he dated you. Now, he needs all this time and effort to just get his parents to meet you? Right.

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^^I agree

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I would say what Reha said. If he wanted to marry you..he wouldn't think twice about getting introduce you to his family. And this is the problem. Probably he is afraid that..he'll face blacklash from his parents for marrying you. Wish you all the best.

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Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?

Hello

I think you should talk about this with your partner and not talk about it to complete strangers. Considering they are not in the relationship and are totally against dating before marriage.

If you are serious about this relationship and want to take another step then you have to reassure him that this is what you want and that he has to make a choice to either commit to you and tell his parents about you and possibly let them talk to you. or just go your separate ways. because its a waste of time loving a guy who does not want to take the next step and thats what you want to do. Introducing does not mean you'll get married right away and he has to be sure that he wants to be with you because they will not be happy with the fact that you're not a Pakistani nor Muslim nor somebody who the mother has chose. so they will try to ruin the relationship and convince your boyfriend that this is not a good idea etc.
So what I'm telling you to do is talk to him about future etc and what he wants to do (concerning marriage), reassure him that you want this and won't run off and be prepared to go different paths.

btw how long have you two been together?

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no its not true for all muslim men...since if he is a good muslim then he wouldnot have been dating and all that.

now it could be two reasons

1) probably he has kind of spoken to his family and they have said no for you so now he is hesitant in telling you thus saying that the family "might" say/think this or that

2) it could be that he had no intention of marrying you at all and now wants to move on so making excuses.

its hard to say what exactly is the reason. but my advice is to talk to him in clear words and ask what are his plans. ask him that "you said i am a female thus your family will make assumptions about me so does that mean we cannot marry?"...i am sure to this he will either say a no or will say something like no wait i will talk to them etc etc. i'll say donot wait too long u should probably just move on. good luck :)

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Theres also family circumstances to consider. I've been dating my boyfriend for a year now and he's going to tell his parents next week. Marriage has always been on the table and I am studying Islam in order to become a Muslim as well as Urdu so I can communicate better with my in-laws and talk in three languages with my boyfriend.
Things take time and he just has to find the right timing. because a lot is going to change once he tells his family.
Considering that you've only been dating him for a year or so..? (I had to look at your past posts) This is normal and you shouldn't rush into it till you're 110% sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him. Find out how his family is structured.

Love marriages happen a lot in my boyfriends family but arrange marriages are common as well. You just have to talk about this to him.

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Pakistani men are crud. Go find yourself a real man.

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^^:rotfl:

PCG will ju franship me? even tho imma girl? :stuck_out_tongue:

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dating or courtship acceptance varies by family so there is no one practice. Now yor words are interesting that he does not want to introduce you to his family or it may be filtered back to his parents..? what is his family. Is it uncles and aunts and cousins etc, if so, it makes complete sense, why would he want them in his business? I did not have anyone from my extended family meet my wife until after I had personally told my parents.

He may be trying to determine if you are the one for him, or he may not be serious. The info you have provided does not give enough info to give any insights :)

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www.thegoriwifelife.blogspot.com

:P same story as yours. he didnt introduce her to family for ages
there are success stories.

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ohh I read that
it was very insightful

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Well look cat women, let me step on your tail. The guy is a full time liar, he will never marry you. He will kiss you passionately, touch you, hug you ..and do all other things (which can gave me warnings if i wrote). Typically you are a girl so you will not leave him, so be it.

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Pakistani families are usually not very open to the idea of a gori daughter in law. Pakistani parents have issues on nationality, culture, caste, religion, social status etc. The guy must know about his family's requirements and therefore may not be very keen to introduce you to his family. There are exceptions and some Pakistani families are open minded. So ask the guy to introduce you to his family asap otherwise end things now. Most probably, he is not going to marry you (sorry to be harsh but knowing our Pakistani society and parents, things seem pretty much difficult in your case). The guy may only be having fun with you and enjoying his time with a gori. Clear things up with the guy and move on if things don't look good.

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As for leaving him...this has been done...but we keep coming back to each other....he says that there is a reason for this...he haas feelings but marriage iss a huge decision to make and needs to be 110 per cent sure....this I can understand...he is not the type of person to use people...and I believe som intention is there as he talks about things such as wwhat our kids would look like etcmThe majority of his family are in pakistan...he lives with extended family brothers and one cousin...says things take time...I did google this before posting here and a lot of posts stated a muslim man will not introduce you to family untill he is 100 per cent sure thaat this is the girl he is marrying...and yes I know at the moment he is thinking clearly about his decisions...his family...from wwhat I understand do not mind who he marries...he has cousins married to polish etc and has said if there is a future for us his family would love me....so I am thinking it really has something to do with the strong views of no dating before marriage etc

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in the end grapes turned out to be sour...