Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
Hello everyone.....hope everyone ok on here :-) maybe a few of you will remember me as being the gori girl dating a pakistani guy....back then things were not good..but things seem a lot better now...so I would like to thankyou all for your support!However...there is just one thing...is it true that a muslim man will only bring you home to meet with his family if he 110 per cent plans to marry you because of the no dating in islam etc...I have asked the reason and it is due to the fact that because I am female his family would make assumptions and filter it back to his parents in pakistan.....well this is what he says...sometimess I feel like he is hiding something from me...other times I can totally relate to the reason of no dating etc and can only take a girl home once they are pretty sure they want to marry that person.....a decision in which he is still trying to figure out!(Thanks for all ur helop btw!!)
if you feel that he is hiding some thing from you, it is only you who has to figure it out and i dont think that any of us can help you on that.
Looking at the way you are describing him, my feeling is that you still dont know him all and even if he takes you home and introduces to his family as his to-be-bride, it is early for you too to say yes to such a big decision.
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
^^
Thanks for the reply :-)
I only think something is being hidden because of him not introuducing me to his family....this is why I just want to know whether it is normal practice only for him to introduce me to them once he is 100% sure that he wants to marry me....otherwise...I suppose...what is the point of introducing me!
This is the only reason...........I suppose I am just looking for a straight answer....and not for anyone to judge...tell me to leave him etc ...I suppose unless you truely know the person in question and our friendship...no one will know how beautiful things can be lol
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
^^
Thanks for the reply :-)
I only think something is being hidden because of him not introuducing me to his family....this is why I just want to know whether it is normal practice only for him to introduce me to them once he is 100% sure that he wants to marry me....otherwise...I suppose...what is the point of introducing me!
This is the only reason...........I suppose I am just looking for a straight answer....and not for anyone to judge...tell me to leave him etc ...I suppose unless you truely know the person in question and our friendship...no one will know how beautiful things can be lol
If i am in a relationship with a girl, i will introduce her with family only when both of us are 100% sure about getting married.
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
If i am in a relationship with a girl, i will introduce her with family only when both of us are 100% sure about getting married.
Thankyou....I have great respect for you that you gave honest answer to my question and did not read between the lines and start commenting about the circumstances surrounding our friendship/relationship....as I suppose at the end of the day I only know the facts ... I know its hard not to make assumptions though and I appreciate all the feedback from all of you :-)
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
When you're pregnant.
Yep
He IS hiding something from you..............he has no intention of marrying you.
Im sorry but you need to move on. You've been warned and told. You'd be much better off using this time recover from him and move on with your life.
Always remember one thing: if a man really wants to marry you............he will make it happen. Its obvious he isnt scared of his family because he didnt take their permission when he dated you. Now, he needs all this time and effort to just get his parents to meet you? Right.
Totally agree.
As for leaving him...this has been done...but we keep coming back to each other....he says that there is a reason for this...he haas feelings but marriage iss a huge decision to make and needs to be 110 per cent sure....this I can understand...he is not the type of person to use people...and I believe som intention is there as he talks about things such as wwhat our kids would look like etcmThe majority of his family are in pakistan...he lives with extended family brothers and one cousin...says things take time...I did google this before posting here and a lot of posts stated a muslim man will not introduce you to family untill he is 100 per cent sure thaat this is the girl he is marrying...and yes I know at the moment he is thinking clearly about his decisions...his family...from wwhat I understand do not mind who he marries...he has cousins married to polish etc and has said if there is a future for us his family would love me....so I am thinking it really has something to do with the strong views of no dating before marriage etc
If he is such a good Muslim he would have already sent his parents to your parents and have sought your hand in holy matrimony. Dating in Islam is has its own limitations , Islam does not allow a long romance before marrying someone.
If he is daring enough to be dating you he should be daring enough to take you to his parents.
He is being totally hypocrite about this.
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
^^^^ I totally understand what you are saying here....but is it this easy if my parents are UK based and his in Pakistan.........and I do not see the point him introducing me if he is still thinking about marriage! That would be weird!
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
or you know
TALK to him more about this
tell him your concerns
by the time he tells his parents then you're going to feel silly worrying about it.
Although you could introduce him to your parents if you haven't done it already. Then maybe he will realize that your taking this seriously and that he should too.
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
As mentionned by one of the posters, maybe some people here are telling you to move on because they are against the idea of dating and relationships prior to marriage. Well, im not, I have dated, and I personally think you should move on. The point is, if he knows how you feel about this and how worried you are, he would make the effort. Maybe not of marrying you right away, but at least introducing you to some of his family members as a "friend" so that you get a feel of them and them of you. If he is serious about you and you guys have been together for a long time and if its that important to you, he would do it. I hope your relationship works out, but if its this much hassle from the start, its usally a bad sign.
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
thanks for your replies.....its all mixed responses here....some are saying unless they are 100% sure of marrying that person they will not introduce them to family....others are saying ....move on...if he not introducing you...bad sign!
Im gonna go with the responses saying "unless he is 100% sure of marrying you he will not introduce you" as this is what he has said...and one which makes far more sense seen as though dating is strictly haram.....I understand this....anyway...we not dating now....we have a dating ban now in place lol
Thanks again :-) I will take a risk with this....as without risks we would never progress anywhere in life :-)
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
thanks for your replies.....its all mixed responses here....some are saying unless they are 100% sure of marrying that person they will not introduce them to family....others are saying ....move on...if he not introducing you...bad sign!
Basically both are saying the same thing i.e. a guy who is taking this long is a red flag. Anyway, all the best to you.
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
He says this is a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeee decision and needs time to think
If a guy told me that after dating him and knowing him for as long as you have...he still needed time to think...I would just let him think about it.......for the rest of his life........alone.
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
Do his parents or siblings know you as a 'friend' of his or have you never even been mentioned to them? If not, I'd run a mile..
It's obviously a sensitive situation introducing an 'outsider' to their parents but ppl in these situations often do let a brother or sister in on what's going on if they're serious about the person..
Re: at what stage will he introduce me to his family?
Pakistani men are crud. Go find yourself a real man.
angoor khatte hain? :p
no offence..but generalization always makes me wonder where's rationality and fair mindedness around..not ALL pakistani men are CRUD :p
nyway to the OP ..this guy pakistani or not doesnt seem loyal or sincere..and he's having cold feet and probably doesn't really intend to marry you..please be careful !