…or you plan to get married?
To married couples, did you encounter any age related problems in your married life? To unmarried couples, what do you consider important to have before you start planning your wedding?
P.S. I just want to know I am not rushing things at 22.
Re: At what age did you get married..
I got married very young, I was 23. I've been married 8 years now. I have a problem with the general desi attitude of not getting married until you're pretty much settled in life, meaning financially stable, no more struggling etc.
It is during your struggling years that you most need a spouse in whom you can confide in and go to for comfort. I think it's silly that you go through your struggles alone and then get married once all the rough times are over. When you go through the tough times WITH your spouse, I believe that that leads to your being so much closer to your spouse.
But that's me, to each his own I suppose.
Re: At what age did you get married..
I got married very young, I was 23. I've been married 8 years now. I have a problem with the general desi attitude of not getting married until you're pretty much settled in life, meaning financially stable, no more struggling etc.
It is during your struggling years that you most need a spouse in whom you can confide in and go to for comfort. I think it's silly that you go through your struggles alone and then get married once all the rough times are over. When you go through the tough times WITH your spouse, I believe that that leads to your being so much closer to your spouse.
But that's me, to each his own I suppose.
^ good point....never thought about that.
I think marrying young not only does what you mentioned above but it also keeps your mind from wandering....you are more focused on your goals and you try hard to achieve them....... because now you have a reason to....your family.
Re: At what age did you get married..
or you plan to get married?
I would like to get married as soon as the right person comes along…I was ready since I was 18…I’ve been waiting for a long time 
To unmarried couples, what do you consider important to have before you start planning your wedding?
a brain..one that you use, some level of maturity
P.S. I just want to know I am not rushing things at 22.
if you feel ready…then you are.
Re: At what age did you get married..
I got married very young, I was 23. I've been married 8 years now. I have a problem with the general desi attitude of not getting married until you're pretty much settled in life, meaning financially stable, no more struggling etc.
It is during your struggling years that you most need a spouse in whom you can confide in and go to for comfort. I think it's silly that you go through your struggles alone and then get married once all the rough times are over. When you go through the tough times WITH your spouse, I believe that that leads to your being so much closer to your spouse.
But that's me, to each his own I suppose.
yes, but it depends on the personalities of the wife and husband and whether they are compatible. If during the rough times there are frustrations and bigtime stressful situations and a man or a woman can't handle them, many take those frustrations out on the spouse which contribute to major problems in the marriage. Maybe that's why some say that rushing into marriage is not the best idea. Some people aren't mature enough to enter into marriage and handle the tough times.
Re: At what age did you get married..
I got married very young, I was 23. I've been married 8 years now. I have a problem with the general desi attitude of not getting married until you're pretty much settled in life, meaning financially stable, no more struggling etc.
It is during your struggling years that you most need a spouse in whom you can confide in and go to for comfort. I think it's silly that you go through your struggles alone and then get married once all the rough times are over. When you go through the tough times WITH your spouse, I believe that that leads to your being so much closer to your spouse.
But that's me, to each his own I suppose.
That's my attitude too! That's when you need your partner the most; this applies to love marriages though. Desi mindset is that way because most marriages are still arranged, so their thinking is why drag your partner through everything you do and every mistake you make, pay first play later.
Re: At what age did you get married..
ANGEL EYES- That's a really really good point! Loving someone is reason enough to work harder to achieve your goals faster. I couldn't agree with you more! If I didn't want to get married now, I would take my time to do everything at a slower pace. Right now, it's like I don't have enough time... I have a deadline set in my mind that I have to get everything done before that.
IndoPak- That's true as well. Rough times could really hit them hard. One might just give up! This could lead to a bad marriage. What love you had before could get burried under such circumstances and all you'd see is the bad side of your spouse. This happens to unmarried couples as well and that's how you know which one you is the stronger one and which one is the more sensitive one. lol
Re: At what age did you get married..
I was 24, but engaged for a while. I don't think you have to be completed with your education and settled in your career before marriage; however you do need to have a sound start. After the marriage, you are not simply responsible for yourself, but for your spouse and potential children as well. It's important to realize that getting married isn't simply an opportunity to be glamorous and play dress up. You need to be ready to make a home and spend your life with someone.
Re: At what age did you get married..
Not married as yet, even though parents and my sisters are pushing me to settle down, inshallah in the next 18 months hope to be married.
Oh daaaaarn, i misread the question, don't mind me. :D
Re: At what age did you get married..
i would like to not get married and keep all the money for myself and my parents. plus im lazy, so marriage sounds hard.
Re: At what age did you get married..
^ blah, blah, blah.
Re: At what age did you get married..
I was 26, three months ago on the longest day and the shortest night of the year.
^.^
Re: At what age did you get married..
Sahar02- lol @play dress up and be glamorous. Looks like most of you don't have the typical mindset that one should be out of school and financially well off to get married. We have gone through so much crap that life could pretty m uch through anything at us and it won't measure up to the misery, so I am ready! I wasn't the kind who believes in marriage, but whatever happened totally changed my mind.
Orpheus- How old are you? :p
signup- err.. we will have to see when the right person comes along.
Submission to Peace- If I understood your post right, you got married three months ago? You should still be going to your shadi dawatain then. lol.
Re: At what age did you get married..
Submission to Peace- If I understood your post right, you got married three months ago? You should still be going to your shadi dawatain then. lol.
Kahan bhai, I am here in Turkey and she is in Pakistan. I haven't meet her for the last 2 months, due to studies. Insha'Allah in January. Need prayers.
Re: At what age did you get married..
Okay ! let us go through your first question first , rite ?
In my case I see it Insallah happening around 32 ! Bit late indeed but every one has his/her own circumstances. So in a nutshell you cant apply a single rule on every one !
For lads , it must be done around 24 to 26 but it also depends on your maturity factor as well , you must have seen blokes bit childish in age of 30 and I say if you aint ready to tackle things , don’t start the game mate ! its way different and contradistinctive then having a Girl friend and going out for coupla odd dates in a month .
I truly agreed with aahmed where he said ‘It is during your struggling years that you most need a spouse in whom you can confide in and go to for comfort’
So if once you are done with studies at undergraduate level and in some serious job for couple of years , you should get hooked ! As if you go towards getting financially stable part , who knows you ended up marrying in age of 35. Life is never stable matey , it always has some cards to play.
But also Marriage is a different bingo , if ya bring some one over as your wife, you have stand by her in every good and bad predicaments . And you should be the one asking yourself :) Am i ready !
Re: At what age did you get married..
I alas did not meet and marry my knight in shining armor till later in life...I was, lets call it "30 something" and leave it at that lol! We were both very good income-earners yadayada....yet how I wish that I had met him a decade or so earlier. We have SO much and I am grateful for that, each and every day. But you really dont have the energy when you have your kids at a later age. I feel bad for that sometimes - looking back at how boundless my energy level was when I was in my 20s. If you meet the right one, dam the torpedos man. Have your kids earlier and enjoy them. Kids truly prefer a great home life, having parents around etc over having career-minded parents who can buy up the store and send them off to a nanny. So if you get the chance and the choice...you are blessed and go for it!
Re: At what age did you get married..
i am 23 and im getting married in december and i have been engaged for 2 years and im goning to be 24 a month after i get married
i wonder am i getting married late because 2 of my freinds have been married for a few years and one of them has a daughter who is now 3.....
Re: At what age did you get married..
I got married very young, I was 23. I've been married 8 years now. I have a problem with the general desi attitude of not getting married until you're pretty much settled in life, meaning financially stable, no more struggling etc.
It is during your struggling years that you most need a spouse in whom you can confide in and go to for comfort. I think it's silly that you go through your struggles alone and then get married once all the rough times are over. When you go through the tough times WITH your spouse, I believe that that leads to your being so much closer to your spouse.
But that's me, to each his own I suppose.
I agree and same here. I was also 23 and Mrs. is 2 years younger than I am, so she was 21 when we got married. We had known each other for 3 years, out of those 3, we were engaged for 1 year. So we really knew each other, in fact sometimes we could so predict each other that it was freaky.
I don't understand why desis want their children to marry when they are in late 20s even when they are "settled". I had finished my education and I had a professional job so I decided to get married. Wife still had 1 year of university to finish, I was making enough to afford her education and afford us. We get along fine, she is a mature and a family oriented person who gets along with my family fine.
If you 2 think you are ready, then go ahead but as someone said, keep in mind that you are not just marrying the dude, you have to deal with in-laws as well. Shaadi is not just fun, there are problems/issues that come with it. Some people step into it thinking it's all fun but just be mentally ready to face any problems that may arise and be prepared for a roller coaster ride (mostly fun) :D
Re: At what age did you get married..
my poor soul got trapped in this marriage thing at a very tender age of 12 :(
my ghar wali was 8
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i guess thats too much info for now
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:p
Re: At what age did you get married..
I got married at 27 and we knew each other for 9 years so it was about time.