So I’m just about losing my patients and my will with my so called other half and it’s taking it toll on my health and on are family life and the children’s life 
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So the situation is this, 5 years ago I had slaved and worked my self to the bone and happened to have saved up some money (£9000.)
I saved it in one of my direct debit banks, just a basic account not a savings one, my hubsnad has the online details and card details for all my accounts I felt at the time that I can trust him and I had a what’s mine is yours mentality. Everything was going well, I had saved and felt a bit realaxed in life, the fact that I knew there was something in the bank just puts my mind at peace.
So the money was in the bank and years went by without me thinking about it. One day I felt sad about my finances so I went to the ATM machine to look at the £9000 number on the bank machine (this makes me fee relaxed! ) so I inoccenlty put my card in the machine and what do I see? 0.03p is in my account 
. Straight away I thought someone had stolen my money in a hesterical panic I call my husband who was at work at that time, I told him about the money and he just said “yeah I took it out, i needed it to start a bussness account!” That day was a massive argument!
Anyway 5 years on I still haven’t seen that £9000 it apparently in some bussness account with som accountant, his left it in there in the hope of getting a decent loan offer or something…
So i gave him the benefit of the doubt.
And started saving again… this time I managed to save only £3000 but I was ok with this… last night I recived a bank statement by post, I’ve only got £800 left in the bank 
£500 was withdrawn without my permission another £200 was withdrawn and full rent was paid for from my account!
This morning I was furious… I snatched his wallet and went out to the ATM machine, he has 5 bank cards 2 only have £3 or something in! One is a credit card, one is a debit card but it says it’s in overdraft of £368 and the main card he has were his wages come in is showing only £480?! He got paid on the 15th of this month, it’s the 20th now… he gets paid £1100 and month so where has the rest of this money gone within 5 days of getting wages? He also works cash in hand on wed and thurs where he earns an extra £200 a month… there was no money in his wallet…
So I withdrawed £100 out of the £480 and went home and put this money into the saving envelope I have, last time I checked this envelope had £800 in, now with the £100 I’ve just taken from him it only has £500!!! I had taken £50 from that envelope for Xmas presents but where did the £350 go??
When ever I ask him he says I’m doing a drama and he starts hitting and beating me…last time he gave me a bloody nose…
He does f all around the house, I’m stuck on maternity leave looking after a very fussy new born and a stubborn 5 year old…
I’m trying my best to save money, I’m exhausted but still go out to random people’s houses to do babysitting for only £8 an hour.. he tells me I’m stupid and a fool to work for only £30 / £40 and shift but his not helping… it’s been 2 years his been working properly and I haven’t seen any money from him within that time..
To make things worse, last year I found him texting a prostutie, he was asking her how much she charges, I was pregnant at that time and when I asked him he first said that’s not his texts, then he said he was arranging her for his friend… so I asked his friend and he said he doesn’t have a clue what my hubby is saying!!!
then he said he was just flirting with her… we had a fight that day and with all the stress I miscarried!
His broken my trust and is also stealing from me…
the iceing on the cake is I’m getting depressed and have started living a “fantasy life” with a random guy who name I’ve forgotten that I met on an app, I’ve given him my WhatsApp number and we have been taking for about a month every night while my husband is away at Work earning for god knows who! His far away so there’s no chance of any real physical cheating but I feel guilty all the same, however I feel happy while talking to him, his the only one making me smile and forget about my rotten miserable situation.
I’m actually crying while writting this… where has that man gone that I married and planned my life with so much hope and dreams? Where is that man gone that I use to look up to with so much pride? Where is that man gone who use to take away all my worries with one big warm hug? Why has he been replaced by a lieing, cheating and abusing miserable stranger that I just don’t recognise anymore…?
I’ve tried talking to my husband and I’ve tried ingnoring him, I’ve tried trusting in what he says, I’ve tried everything I can but it’s just not working…I don’t know what to do anymore, I rarely have lost all hope.. I’m becoming miserable and angressive with my children and have started to no care about how I look anymore. The only time I’m motavated to tart up and look nice is when I’m going to have face time with that random guy, then I spend a few hours straining my hair, putting makeup on, selecting a nice dress and even putting perfume on 
… I feel like I’m going out and I just feel like myself again… then I spend a good 3 hours talking to this guy somtimes we don’t even talk, he just looks at me and smiles… it’s reminds me of the good old times with my husband… when we were in love…
This morning I actually found my self smiling randomly in the street because I remembered that guys smile… now I feel guilty again… but without such communication I think I will go insane
Im not a bad person, I have never done anything behind husbands back… but for some reason I am now… I’m not attracted to that guy..I don’t even remember his name… I just like the attention I get, the memories and feelings he brings out… the fact that he helps me get away and bury my head in the sand from all the problems around me.
My husband has broken my trust with the money stuff and prostute stuff and whatever he says feels like a lie… this broken trust is making me act out of character and it’s making me so confused…
I don’t known what type of advice I’m looking for… I don’t think there is any advice for such a mess!
Forest 
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… in that case I must have cheated loads of times as I’m friends with male co workers and have even gone out for coffee with them 
!
or maybe his started his gambling again, but I’m not sure as he usely wins and he hasn’t come home late as he does when he use to gamble… I don’t know… your guess is as good as mine..