At least Im married! *snooty*

Success of children is the reward? I dunno, Reha.

  • There is a possibility that children could have also turned out successful if an abused mother chose to separate from her husband. I’m sure there are many such examples.

  • How do we measure “success” here? There’s financial success (graduating and having a good job) and then there’s emotional success as well. What if these children have the financial success but … deep down…they’re emotionally unstable or insecure because of what their dad did. And sometimes emotional insecurities may not be evident to a mother or some aunti…or other people in the community for that matter.

  • What if the mom thinks that the kids are making great money and have good jobs…but her son gets married in the future and starts beating up his own wife because that’s what he had learned…and expects his wife to tolerate it…because that’s what his own mother did. He seemed like a happy and stable kid on the outside…who knew that his father’s poor treatment left such a deep scar on him.

  • Daughter has a good job, is intelligent, makes good money. But she never quite learned to stand up for herself. She’s sweet, cooperative…but a bit of a pushover. She doesn’t set boundaries…and this leads her to trouble in her relationships.

******Again, “success” is a broad term. How is it measured?
**
*******************The aunti at the masjid said that this particular woman was rewarded for the sabr she showed in enduring her husband’s beatings. But sabr can be shown in various ways. If the woman had separated from her husband…she would have to show **sabr **in making a living on her own, tolerating society’s negative remarks, and creating a healthier home environment for her children ON HER OWN. Sabr can be shown in separation as well…and I think the reward of it can still be reaped.