Oops typo in the title line! I meant “ASSERTIVE women starting relationships.” Sorry about that.
I was watching this really cute movie the other night called Someone Like You starring Ashley Judd and Hugh Jackman. It seemed that no matter how hard she tried to keep a decent guy, somehow or another the guy slipped out of her hands due to absolutely no fault of hers. She was so frustrated at the whole situation.
My question is, is it NOT ok for women to make the first move (to start a relationship with someone)? I notice that regardless of culture, men in general tend to find women who approach them a turn-off. I don’t think there is anything wrong with going after someone you are attracted to provided that you are subtle about it but I guess men see this quite differently…or no?
I dont think the answer lies in just what we women think.. personally
I think it is okay and often a relationship just happens so its not really about who started what..
However, I have seen that women initiated relationships arent as balanced.. often the guy uses that as a comeback..ie tum hi meray peechay paree thi..
My opinion is that you avoid that whole awkward and confusing phase of who initiates first. It's pressure off of the guy to make the first move and shows a confident woman who is unafraid of getting what she wants.
There's a difference between being assertively interested....as opposed to aggressively obsessed.
Relationships take time though. Mutual feelings for each other don't always develop right away. Some people open up right away others take a long time to. I think it all depends on one's nature and past experiences. If you like someone there's no harm in letting them know..and you certainly should. Give them time to think about it and sort out how they feel about you... and don't keep pestering them for an answer.
From what I've seen most guys are insecure morons and don't like it if the girl is smarter and more confident. Only a complete idiot would have a problem with the girl making the first move.
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*Originally posted by waqas72: *
From what I've seen most guys are insecure morons and don't like it if the girl is smarter and more confident. Only a complete idiot would have a problem with the girl making the first move.
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A silly question (especially curious to see how guys will respond to this): if a woman is interested in a man and she makes him aware of that via one of a number of ways (offering her phone #, initiating contact and maintaning contact, etc.) is the mentality on the guy's side then to the effect: "she digs me" and the guy leads her on just for a quick ego-boost OR does all this relate to guys with less maturity than grown men? I mean, how does this work exactly? I'm trying to understand basically why perfectly well-rounded women seem not to have the same interest level (or ANY interest level at all, in some cases) generated by the men they are interested in.
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*Originally posted by sweetpie: *
Interesting perspectives :)
A silly question (especially curious to see how guys will respond to this): if a woman is interested in a man and she makes him aware of that via one of a number of ways (offering her phone #, initiating contact and maintaning contact, etc.) is the mentality on the guy's side then to the effect: "she digs me" and the guy leads her on just for a quick ego-boost OR does all this relate to guys with less maturity than grown men? I mean, how does this work exactly? I'm trying to understand basically why perfectly well-rounded women seem not to have the same interest level (or ANY interest level at all, in some cases) generated by the men they are interested in.
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This depends on the guy's mentality. If he is just into taking girls for a ride then yes it is just an ego boost. But if he genuinely likes the girl and is ready for a serious relationship, then I am sure he would take her more seriously.
However, girls making the first move, especially desi ones, doesn't happen nearly as often as it should. :D
^ A friend of mine has been approached by the girl three times in a row. It's a hilarious sight, so it is something that should happen more often, just for the comedic value.
Assertive women normally don't give a damn about what other people think when it comes to who can start a relationship. And assertive women, also don't ask too many questions. They are Nike followers: "Just Do It".
^ faisal that is very very true… assertive women dont care much about what society thinks of them or what boundaries they may be… they just go with the flow.. and if things happen.. they just do
sweetpie, thank u so much for this thread
i feel better about myself already.. now my other thread “right or wrong” makes a lil bit sense… to me
yaar…i did that…tell soemone how much i cared about him..but it didnt work out ..oh well…if i like someone, seriously or a crush, ill tell them…keeping quiet is never an option for me..but **** where r the guys who like girls to approach them ?
Personally, each time without fail when I have made my feelings known to some guy or another, I seemed to have "scared" the person away. For me, the 'assertive woman' approach hasn't worked but I know that it surely can for some women.
A cool woman knows how to make a man make the first move. You can call her assertive or any other adjective starting with ass, for example, assailant, assassin.
boys are dorks. and that's what most pakistani males are before they hit 40 and begin to realize they'll be dying of a heart attack soon from eating too much ghee-based food.
