Anytime some distant relative asks me for my number, I know they want something.
Every single time.
What’s the logic of not just asking in email or messages. Typically it’s a cryptic message like…can you send me your number, needed to chat. Or,
please inbox me your number.
The requests usually come from people I am not generally in touch with. I may be all skeptical and stuff, but I think the logic is that if asked point blank it may be hard for me to say no. Also the thing being asked is usually not a simple request and it has some financial or more often time/effort component to it. Pick up their nephew from airport, drop them at dorms and help them settle in or pick up someone and house them while they take some exam in my city.
Those I am close to know that with me there are no formalities. This happens with ppl I have not been in touch with for years and am not close to.
You guys face the same? How do you deal with it?
I think my standard response will be like. Here is my number, I am not always around with travel and meetings so if you don’t reach me just drop me a note on what you wanted to chat about. That may be the easiest.
Sure, and they can ask for it in an email too. The answer will be the same whatever the medium is. What I can not do, or don't want to do is not going to happen.
The issue is that the requests are over the top and they know it and thus the old sales approach of asking the question live. Some requests are ridiculous, pick someone up, bring them to my place, drop them at some place they have some silly exam at and then pick them up, and then drop them at the airport.
During work week that is almost impossible.
On top of that, if someone really needs help its one thing, but a 24 year old from a financially sound family can get a cab to a hotel, take the exam, cab back to the airport and be on their merry way.
email??... then they cant really reason with you or convince you for help or a favor but talking to you on phone they can, easily....
u can aslo lie about not getting their email or not reading it on time... so live is better to make you feel awkward
Anytime some distant relative asks me for my number, I know they want something.
Every single time.
What's the logic of not just asking in email or messages. Typically it's a cryptic message like...can you send me your number, needed to chat. Or,
please inbox me your number.
The requests usually come from people I am not generally in touch with. I may be all skeptical and stuff, but I think the logic is that if asked point blank it may be hard for me to say no. Also the thing being asked is usually not a simple request and it has some financial or more often time/effort component to it. Pick up their nephew from airport, drop them at dorms and help them settle in or pick up someone and house them while they take some exam in my city.
Those I am close to know that with me there are no formalities. This happens with ppl I have not been in touch with for years and am not close to.
You guys face the same? How do you deal with it?
I think my standard response will be like. Here is my number, I am not always around with travel and meetings so if you don't reach me just drop me a note on what you wanted to chat about. That may be the easiest.
I know exactly what you're saying.
Two recent examples:
Friend from college, not very close but on my Facebook, messages me out of the blue. Can I have your number? Next thing I know she is coming to my neck of the woods to go on a cruise. Has an extra day. Next thing I know, she's staying with me 2 nights.
Local friend, again not too close, rather not close at all. Sends me an SMS. Was thinking about you. Can I call? Next thing I know, she wants me to pick and drop her kid to the masjid.
If people are clear ahead of time, I can plan things out and give reasonable solutions and actually offer help that is mutually convenient and not sound like I'm running away from helping them.
No relatives in my city, but I have the same problem with various “Uncles” and “Aunties” who think that just because I work in the IT industry I should be able (and willing) to fix their computer problems.
I don't know how people stay at other peoples' homes either. Unless its my sisters...its just to weird being a burden on someone you've not seen or spoken to in ages.
I don't know how people stay at other peoples' homes either. Unless its my sisters...its just to weird being a burden on someone you've not seen or spoken to in ages.
Different relatives have been staying at my house and I have stayed at different relatives houses too. To me that's the most normal thing in the world. In fact, if a relative was in town and would stay in a hotel rather than at my place, I'd find that really weird.
Sweetequation- Oh I have quite the opposite challenge. I really have no interest in pleasing people if its some ridiculous request.
Last time I had this request, I agreed to pick this couple up, who were some relatives' relatives .. Needed to take their exam here, and needed to go to some week long prep course. I said sure, and offered to drop them at train station in the morning, which adds 30 minutes to my drive, and pick them up in the evening. That apparently was not good enough and the expectation was for a door to door service every day for a week. They ended up doing something else although I became the bad guy who was not willing to help.
