Re: Asking for personal Info…
one rishta that came my way, her father being blunt asked how much i make, i replied i was in a good job and earning well but he kept on the subject and wanted to know my annual gross, i at this point got angry and replied way more than what a taxi driver makes and showed him the door. 
Re: Asking for personal Info...
You have a right to know everythign about his financial status before saying yes.
And i have heard of chem engineers making 75k + right out of college (2 of my friends were) so its not totally unbelievable.
Re: Asking for personal Info...
Hmmm...i wouldn't ask a salary directly. You can figure out a range easily enough by knowing the profession. And if he makes 10 grand less than you want, you won't marry him?
More important question is: this is the lifestyle she is used to - do you think you can maintain that or do we as a family need to discuss the possibility of downscaling the luxury with our daughter?
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And honestly I wouldn't even ask that question. I'd just make sure that intellectually he can hold a conversation and has a college education.
Well I can only speak for my family, but my parents would give the guys side all the info they asked for...but only if they wanted to take the rishta further! It's only fair right!
**
it should be mutual...if theyu ask for a proof of info then girls' side must also be willing to provide the same to boys' family, if applicable...the exchange of info and its proof must be amicable...one to one. i've no quarrel with that :)**
Exactly . It must be a total turnoff . isn’t it ?
Hmmm...i wouldn't ask a salary directly. You can figure out a range easily enough by knowing the profession. And if he makes 10 grand less than you want, you won't marry him?
More important question is: this is the lifestyle she is used to - do you think you can maintain that or do we as a family need to discuss the possibility of downscaling the luxury with our daughter?
Yea and that makes perfect sense! It's a lifestyle decision! It's hard enough for a girl to leave her family and start a new life with somewhat of a stranger...and if he doesn't have the same lifestyle as she had prior to marriage it makes the transition even more difficult!
I thought it would be rude of my parents to ask that question as well…but I guess everyone is different…some ppl will mind and some won’t…
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I don't really kno why people would mind ... i mean in my case i wld fully understand if somone who is giving me their daughter just wants to makes sure that i am able to support her ... there is nothin wrong with it ...
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My parents check everything Alhumdulillah!
Degrees, when and where awarded.
Pay stubs and in one of my BILs cases...tax returns, propery ownership and business license.
Naturalization papers or immigration papers.
Birth certificate.
Some other things...I forget.
But yeah, its the way it works in my house. You dont have to make a six figure income but you have to be honest and be able to prove it. There are too many real life fraud cases we know of.
Quite frankly, I think its perfect.
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If you have nothing to hide, then why should you find it a problem?
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^ Exacty Sara.
Its not a small deal...its about two peoples' lives and in such situations...the more honesty and proof you can give each other to set minds at ease...the better off you are.
Yea and that makes perfect sense! It's a lifestyle decision! It's hard enough for a girl to leave her family and start a new life with somewhat of a stranger...and if he doesn't have the same lifestyle as she had prior to marriage it makes the transition even more difficult!
That's not true, if you are marrying a younger guy...chances are he is not making as much as an older guy. I think elders say this...i have heard a lot of uncles and aunties say this. Truth is if you are compatible the standard of living should be secondary unless that is something you value the most.
^^ most girls don't marry younger guys!
Do people fall in love according to date of birth?
is younger then 1 year is acceptable?
What is upper limit, mind you though we marry girls in relatively younger age, but for guy we always look for established one. What is expectable age difference?
My parents check everything Alhumdulillah!
Degrees, when and where awarded.
Pay stubs and in one of my BILs cases...tax returns, propery ownership and business license.
Naturalization papers or immigration papers.
Birth certificate.
Some other things...I forget.
But yeah, its the way it works in my house. You dont have to make a six figure income but you have to be honest and be able to prove it. There are too many real life fraud cases we know of.
Quite frankly, I think its perfect.
You cant be serious!
Thats like a tax audit.
lol ayesha, it is not hard to get fake documentations in Pakistan. so what do u do then?
No rishtey from Pakistan.
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^ lol...
But honestly i believe in trusting the rishta people.. and so does my parents. They didnt demand any documents to prove anything. Just meeting and talking to the guy and his family proves a lot more things which no documents can prove.
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LOL I am serious, we never get rishtey from Pakistan. Only from outside lol.
That's not true, if you are marrying a younger guy...chances are he is not making as much as an older guy. I think elders say this...i have heard a lot of uncles and aunties say this. Truth is if you are compatible the standard of living should be secondary unless that is something you value the most.
That came out wrong....its not only a lifestyle decision there are of course other important factors to consider lol! I'm just saying that it really helps out the situation! And I personally am not looking for a younger guy! Reason being as you mentioned above...they aren't as established in their stage of life as others would be, and their also not very mature...(or at least the ones I have had the "pleasure" of meeting! And I am looking for a well-established person, because I am Alhamdulillah quite well off myself, and I am use to life’s certain "luxuries.” Like if the guy is a homebody and he never takes vacations etc…that would be brutal…because I love to travel!! Call me shallow.... I really don't care! :D