KayZ
June 22, 2011, 4:49pm
21
Re: asking certain questions
Its better not to ask direct questions in the first or second meeting. But at least, the girl can convey to the guy what values does she observe and how she has been leading her life. This will be the first step towards making the guy know about the girl and what expectations she has from the guy. Of course, if a girl has been leading a good life, she expects that the guy would be at least not a playboy. Very liberal and broad minded guy would distance himself with such a girl if he thinks that there is much differences in the values followed by them. After a few meetings and when they have formed some comfort level with each other, the girl can lightly ask about any past relationships or whether the guy had previously liked any girl. The guy may not tell the truth, but at least he would know that this is something important for the girl.
The background check on the guy will be most useful and asking his friends, colleagues about his character and habits will enable to know about the kind of person he is. But some light and frank discussion between the girl and guy will break the ice between them and enable the girl to convey the information on the values she follows along with observing the behaviour of the guy. If the guy becomes very frank in the first meeting, wants to hold hands, starts talking in very intimate manner… all these are red flags and can identify his thurki nature. Talking and observing is the best thing but don’t expect that he will tell you the truth. However, it will still be useful.
i agree with “after a few meetings part” but what is the point of conveying message in the very first meeting. Sounds very odd to me, and i dont even think that the guy will admit any thing. As far as letting the guy know about girl’s expectation is concerned, i dont think there is any point in doing that because expectations are much higher in arrange marriages and this applies to all girls. Koi b larki nahi chahti k har jagha mun marnay wala bakra usay milay :).