Y is it that some ppl think that just bcos u r getting married in a way that is NOT arranged (i.e. love marriage), that it makes u the type of girl that can do wotever she wants? I mean yesterday, one of my fiance’s friends was like “how come she doesn’t fly out here?” And i know that this mite just sound trivial, but it’s stuff like this that i hear all the time and it just pisses me off so much! 
I mean, my fiance knows i can’t go out at nite, and travel on my own and go to another state and see him…but some of his friends seem to think that just bcos our engmnt. isn’t arranged and that we’ve known each other for yrs., that i shud be able to go over there…so just cos i don’t have an arranged marriage, does it mean that i have no decency!? I may have found someone on my own, but that doesn’t mean i’m gona go against my family and act out…i don’t think it’s rite and that is how i have been raised, and there’s a limit to everything…sorry about my rambling, i’m just so cross at ppl ASSUMING that i am so “modern” or “open” or “free” just cos i have a love marriage/engmnt. 
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awwwwwww poor girl........yeh FRIENDS bohat problem kar rhaay hain yaar....nai?
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Only a fool can please everyone :)
Yaar, i know it hurts but stop worrying about those, whose thinking u cant change. Ur fiance knows u and u know what are ur limits, baqi sab jaien bhar main
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^^ yeah only a fool can please everyone.
As girls we have to stay reserved, infact this comes naturally. Dont let anyone interfere in ure personal life. Let them 
Stay the way u are, ure fiance will have respect of this, if not now then later, and believe me he’ll be proud of it also 
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I WISH I could visit my fiance :love:
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I can ‘fly out’ anywhere any time of the day or night I want but that doesnt mean I would not like to have a traditional marriage. Some traditions are so… oooh :love:
But my sister once said, “If you had a traditional marriage, it’s gonna be a weird one cz you’d be a kind of bride who’d be roaming about all over the place and chattering with the guests like an entertainer instead of staying in your place with a covered head and eyes down.”
:Pretty:
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another word that i've heard is "fast"...girls who somehow manage to get suitable partner are called fast girl (taiz larkee).
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Hang in there sis! Even if you had all the liberty in the world, your morals and values that are dear to you would lead the way.
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Hawww haii, badtameez dulhan!
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You dirty low life kurri!!! HOW DARE YOU try to find your own happiness ??? What gives you the right to take your life into your own hands and be happy and in love and tread down a different path? Life is all about letting everyone else control it, letting the “log” control your every move, how can you be so cruel and let us desis deprive us of controlling your life 
You’re soo selfish !!
its okay don’t worry about it 
TNWB.. u go grl !
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Ok, I must concede that there is a part of me that thinks that any girl who makes her own marriage rather than having one arranged by her parents is a "modern" girl. Not that I thinkt here's anything wrong with that, but I would think that she would be willing to travel etc on her own.
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kashmiri raindrops
you may be reading it wrong. The guys may just be thinking that you are an independent person and can thus travel if you want etc. There is nothing wrong with that and you may be reading too much into it.
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My husband and I also met through family, his aunt. They all came to my house. I'd say it was a love marriage nontheless. When we were engaged he wanted me to come visit him and stay the weekend. It was a 5 hour train ride away. His mother was ok with it. My mother was not. "Log kya kaingay?" was what I always heard. I also didn't totally feel comfortable with the idea. I just wasn't ready yet...although nothing would have happened. He fell for me really fast. So my parents who knew everything we wrote eachother in our letters etc, were very accomodating to me. They allowed Aziz to come spend the weekend here with us every once in a while. And my parents and I also would drive up to his parents house for the weekend.
In this way our parents ensured that we would get to know eachother and yet keep everything open and not feel the need to sneak away. I didn't care about the concepts of 'modern' or 'traditional'. What mattered was doing what I knew was right and having no regrets or guilt.
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Thanks guys, for trying to make me feel better…i appreciate it.
**
BarbieGirl**, yea they r
**Sadaf**, yea u have a point...it's just that ppl always tell me that it's impt to get along with each others' friends...and these couple of guys i'm talking about r really close to him...they have been friends like 15 yrs, and they consider each other cousins...and they even live in the same house...so it's just frustrating...but yes, i know i can't please them...just makes me angry about the stereotypes that's all.
**blushingvision**, see this is the thing...the whole time i have been with him, he respects the fact that i am a reserved person (not all girls are)...he never wants me to change etc., but lately he says that yea....i wud like it if u came here (whereas previously, he understood y i cudn't)...we have been in a long distance-relationship for more than 2 yrs now...it was never an issue, his friends never said anything before...but since our engmnt. about a year ago...it's always like, "y doesn't she come her for a change" or "she shud just come, u guys r engaged now"...my thinking is, just cos i'm engaged doesn't mean i'm gonna change the way i thought before hand also...i hope i'm making sense haha (it's late here and i only slept 4 hrs. last nite)...i am a private person, and my fiance knows that...but ppl r gona interfere anyway, u know wot i mean...esp., since these guys r all *brotherly* with him.
**CrashDummie**, yea same here. But, i think even if i cud i wouldn't mind waiting cos i really don't wanna go to the place where he lives rite now (i know that's a whole other story :D )
**TheNewWannaBe**, LOLZ! :D U know, i actually saw someone do that...a couple months back the girl who married my cousin...ur sis described excatly wot that woman did...it was so embarrassing and my family was so shocked haha!
**Browneyedbeauty**, yes unfortunately that's another word also...all a bunch of bollocks! :mad: Y r ppl so judgemental...not all girls r the same yea :)
**sooraj-mukhi**, thanks! Yes, that's excatly how i feel about it.
**aahmed** **grinning**
**Sara516** :rotfl:I loved that piece of sarcasm hehe...thanks a lot hun :hug:
**MadScientist** :( No not really...see, my parents mite love me enough to be ok with me choosing my own partner...but they have always been strict about travelling...i have never travelled without one of them...that's just how they r...how u choose to get married and getting to travel on ur own far away, are two different things...at least in my family.
**Fraudz**, define wot u mean by "independent"...i mean i don't live alone...my parents support me...the only "independent" thing i have done in my life is to choose my own partner really...i just don't like comments like the ones i have heard, i find them a little insulting...for ex) i was telling TNWB about my new bhabi and wot kind of dulhan she was...my fiance and his family watched that video...they thought the same as my family did about it...that is was shameful the way the couple was behaving...like with the first dance...tradtionally we don't have that at our weddings, but they decided to...in front of all their elders...my thinking is, ok u love each other...we all know that...u don't have to prove it to everyone, by holding, kissing and dancing in front of ur relatives...ok so my fiance thought it was wrong rite...a few weeks later, the same guy friend goes "hey i have a great idea for u two for ur first dance"...my fiance told him, no wait, we will not be having one cos she is not like that...then jokingly added, "she's more pakistani than she seems"...anway, i didn't mind that...but sometimes i feel my fiance feels one way and then when his friends say i shud be like this, or the wedding shud be like that, it pisses me off cos they r just generalising and they don't even know me. **sighs** wot can i do...i have to ignore it i suppose.
**saimanyc**, my family (and even his) r not that cool...i wud even feel uncomfortable being at his home with my family (overnight, that is)...i think families shudn't get too involved before the wedding...u have ur whole marriage for that stuff...actually to me, urs sounds more kinda arranged...even though i have been alone with my fiance hundreds of times, it's just totally different mingling altogether with our families...he feels the same way...for us, it's better when we sneak around to see each other...i guess cos that's how it has been for 5 years now.
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Mrs.Brother did not cover her head on her ‘walima’ cz she had a killing hairstyle to show off. None of us had a problem with that. But one suRReeli newly married girl (who otherwise pretended to be a very educated and decent girl) from the invited guests sat right next to me and commented on that in a disgusting manner. Made me furious but I didnt say a word. But it told me alot about her and she lost the respect she had worked hard to gain initially
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Im sorry i don’t mean to be negative, coz i do think u hav every right to be annoyed wiht people but aren’t you behaving in the exact same way when you say that your bhabhi was being shameful ?? Okay if she was grinding against him or doing the bhangra or something (and that wud be a funny site, her tikka and jhumar flying off her forehead, his pagri slipping off 
) then i can c how she was being shameful. But wha’ts wrong with a nice slow first dance? Anyways, dancing isn’t really the point here.
WHat i’m trying to say is that it’s kinda sick the way everyone expects you to be all sharmeeli and quiet and sad and crying on your wedding.. Our culture is so backwards, one of the happiest days of our lives and we’re expected to be upset and if we’re for soem odd reason happy, we’re baysharam or weird.. It doens’t make sense to me
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- independent, a person that can make his/her own decisions and do as they please.
now you still dont know what the person’s motives were, you are offended because you think that they think something about you which may not even be true.
and please stop juding your bhabhi, you may nto like her actions, but someone may look at you and say something like oh its a mixed gathering or oh she picked her oen husband..oph kaisi gher islami "maadran’ larki hai.