you have never spoken to your husband before marriage…
after signing the nikkah papers in the wedding hall, you still dont speak to each other…
then on the wedding night… you will have to talk to each other… how do you create convo and wouldnt you feel a bit scared or nervous at first…
just the thought is sooo scary that how will you live with a person who youve never spoken to before
Re: arranged marriages
^ speak to him then, who is stopping u? i feel that even the boy would be scared n nervous too if he has never spoken to the gal before. so yes the solution is speak to him. Best would be before you marry him..
Re: arranged marriages
but i dont think its right to speak to him before our nikkah as it will be like a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship... thats not right
the only guy i would ever speak to is my husband and what if, god forbid, we dont get married at the last minute, then that would have meant that i have spoken to another guy before marriage
obviously one does have to speak to guys but only if its work related otherwise theres no need to socially interact with guys in my opinion
thats my opinion... i knwo many will disagree
Re: arranged marriages
If that's your opinion then your're bringing all the scared or nervous feelings onto yourself.
Islam doesn't make it that hard, so there is no need to make unnecessary laws and boundaries for yourself.
Re: arranged marriages
Not many will disagree, EVERYONE is going to disgree with you here.
Star4u you are not going to speak to ANY guy, but to this guy who has been selected for you for ur lifetime. Allah has given you this right to speak to this person and see him, before you sign the nikah paper. If Allah doesnt mind, then tumhein kiya problem ho sakthi hai ? Samjho tum uss say "Work Related" baat kar rahi ho.
Re: arranged marriages
^thats true.. btw im married , i was just speaking on behalf of the girls who have arranged marriages but dont know the guy
mine was arranged and he was from the family so i was a bit scared because i did talk to hime before marriage but only a little bit
so just wanted to know others opinions on the issue
Re: arranged marriages
Islam allows you to talk to a man with the intentions to get married. If it doesnt work out in the end then its not your fault but you do everything staying within the boundaries.
And there is nothing really to be scared about. Nervous yes i understand but why scared he is your husband not a monster what could he do to you?
Re: arranged marriages
Islam allows you to talk/meet to potential spouse to see if both are compatible so I am not sure why "arranged marriages" are taken as if guy/girl meet/talk in bedroom for the first time.
Re: arranged marriages
once my dude, was engage to this girl(wife now), she was in pak… gher ki pali hui larki..
dude was so nervous about going right at it on wedding night… so came up with this brilliant plan…
He told me “I am slowly going to talk her into it.. and get her ready”
I knew what was coming so asked, “talk how”?
He goes “last night over the phone I spoke about me(my dude) massaging her”
I said “did she go quiet after that”
dude “yeah… why :pcg:”
Re: arranged marriages
if he was YOUR dude, he should have stayed loyal to you. Bara bewafa nikla 
Re: arranged marriages
**i'll tell u the whole story once i get married. i guess it all comes out naturally...be urself, a bit shy and all. mard to sha'irana andaaz meN kahe...
apne ruKh par nigaah karne do
Khoobsoorat gunaah karne do
apne ruKh se naqaab uThaao zaraa
aaj dil ko tabaah karne do...
...ruKhs e zaraa naqaab uThaao do, mere Huzoor
jalwa phir ek baar dikhaa do, mere Huzoor!!! ;)
and then talk some more until fajar azaan...first night should be a romantic night and a "FREE" night! :)**
Re: arranged marriages
shaadi ki raat conversation yeh shair keh ke shuru karni chahiye
ahem ahem arz kiya hai
"yeh zulfain hain teri ya resham ka jaal
yeh zulfain hain teri ya resham ka jaal
kis qadar khush naseeb hain woh choohay jinhon ne katre hain tumhare yeh baal"
wah wah...TARAKH...thappar.
Re: arranged marriages
shaadi ki raat conversation yeh shair keh ke shuru karni chahiye
ahem ahem arz kiya hai
"yeh zulfain hain teri ya resham ka jaal yeh zulfain hain teri ya resham ka jaal kis qadar khush naseeb hain woh choohay jinhon ne katre hain tumhare yeh baal"
wah wah...TARAKH...thappar.
**
hahaha...yeh to aisa lagta hai jaise Jagdeep [Bollywood Comedian] kii suhaagraat kaa scene ho...lol...aur dulhan bani ho TunTun hahaha**
Re: arranged marriages
It is idiotic to marry a stranger. It is not virtuous. It is careless. Speaking to him is not immoral, nor is it like “boyfriend girlfriend.”
You put yourself into a “scary” situation and then you complain about it.
Women. 
Re: arranged marriages
** hahaha...yeh to aisa lagta hai jaise Jagdeep [Bollywood Comedian] kii suhaagraat kaa scene ho...lol...aur dulhan bani ho TunTun hahaha**
hahahahahahahahahahaha yeh actually salman khan ki film maine pyar kiya ke dialogues hain.
ok back to the topic. lol
Re: arranged marriages
Star4u…have you ever had a male cashier take your money from you? Have you ever asked a male for directions in a store? Have you ever seen a man and thought he was kinda good looking? If so, these are much more impure things than merely having a few conversations with the presence of a chaperone for marriage purposes.
Im sorry…its not a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship at all if you speak to someone before marriage. Its called an educated and informed decision…this is a right Allah swt has granted us and is halal for us to do to prevent divorces and mistakes.
Agreed
Re: arranged marriages
It would be so strange to go to bed with someone that you hardly know, you have to communicate before marriage. I could not get naked infront of someone I dont know, even if he was my husband.
Re: arranged marriages
I could not get naked infront of someone I dont know, even if he was my husband.
You are not supposed to be naked in order to do it...(as i have heard...may be wrong)
Re: arranged marriages
you have never spoken to your husband before marriage....
after signing the nikkah papers in the wedding hall, you still dont speak to each other...
then on the wedding night... you will have to talk to each other.... how do you create convo and wouldnt you feel a bit scared or nervous at first....
just the thought is sooo scary that how will you live with a person who youve never spoken to before
Hide a baseball bat under the pillow. If he ties anything, swing it out from behind you and be like "You betta watch yourself!" And with that, you have the perfect ice/head-breaker.
Re: arranged marriages
You are not supposed to be naked in order to do it...(as i have heard...may be wrong)
Well wheres the fun in that? Or is it now haraam to show your naked body to your husband as well as belly dance for him as well as share a cup with him as well as eat off the same plate? Gosh this place has some some really uptight people, and I should imagine very boring marriages.