Re: Arranged Marriages
why would they have to be from kentucky or west virginia?
Re: Arranged Marriages
Re: Arranged Marriages
^ True but that's not a justification for having them. Too often children have to suffer because their parents "decided" to have kids as a last resort attempt to save their marriage.
Re: Arranged Marriages
The NYTIMEs had a great article yesterday on south asian weddings, arranged marriages in america and the twist that is going on...
Re: Arranged Marriages
and what did they say in that article? i can’t get NYTimes here in toronto (atleast i don’t knw how to get it.. )
thnx
Re: Arranged Marriages
I have a couple of friends who have had an arranged marriage. In all cases MashAllah they are really in love and having a happy marriage. I think in most of the cases the marriage will work out. BUT, if one or both of the sides are not prepared to getting into that marriage, it's bound to fail in my opinion. As for me, I think that if I was getting in an arranged marriage I would make all of it to make it work, but if I don't have a good feeling about it I won't start it.
Re: Arranged Marriages
As per my latest belief, I think a girl and boy interested to marry just close their eyes and jump into the relationship (of marriage). More you try to go through the understanding process, the more misunderstanding it creates 
Once you are married than you are bound to keep it, save it from breaking up so, you will try to adjust with whatever you have got. Not just out looking for a new partner. Cz having the liberty to get out of/in a relationship only encourages people (especially the immature ones) to be discouraged with the complications which arrive in their existing relationship and they start looking for someone better. That better one never arrives. Cz misunderstanding is a part of all the relationships. The deal is to resolves and survive.
Re: Arranged Marriages
a
Re: Arranged Marriages
Exactly. It has been discussed before but if two people are not willing to work at it then the marriage will definitely fail - love or arranged. Yes, there are exceptions if two people getting married are poles apart. But nobody says that you should marry a complete stranger - that is just a bunch of culture hogwash.
Re: Arranged Marriages
Rukhsarbibi has hit the nail on the head...both parties have to be committed to making it work...arranged marriages will fail if neither partner is willing to treat it as a marriage...
Still this doesnt guarantee success...sometimes things dont work out...we're not always compatible with people we meet...
some might disagree with me but i definitely believe an arranged marriage is easier for people who have not had much experience with those of the opposite sex as their expectations will tend to be a lot lower...people who have had girlfriends etc are a lot more picky and easier to displease because they have a benchmark which those who havent been in relationships dont tend to have...so two people who are experienced and have an idea of their likes/dislikes will struggle a lot more with people they dont know...
The advantage of course is you can be more sure about who you are settling with but again this doesnt guarantee success as our expectations and needs continue changing...
I think an arranged marriage is good for those who havent much experience with the opposite sex...whilst people who have had girlfriends already should stick to that till they find the right gal...
But as mentioned the main factor for a marriage working is for both parties making it their priority to make the marriage work...
Re: Arranged Marriages
arranged marriage or love marriage....doesnt matter cuz either way the honeymoon period will end. once it ends the only thing u r left with is love, trust, understanding, and all that good stuff. many love marriages end up being loveless marriages..so either way ur taking a chance. the way i see it marriage whether its arranged or by choice... its a gamble..either u win or u lose. it's hard enough to find a man/woman on ur own these days...so why not let ur family help. im totally open to what i would call "semi-arranged" marriages.
Re: Arranged Marriages
My chacha and chachi had an arrange marriage. Chachi was 18 and chacha was 32 when they got married. The have been married for 15 years now. They are totally in love and can't imagine living without each other. So, it varies from person to person. Plus if you are going to enter a marriage with the thought in your head that it is going to work out and you are going to love your spouse - things definitely will workout. IT is all about the attitude you enter your marriage with.
Re: Arranged Marriages
you are so right!
Re: Arranged Marriages
yea i agree…but on the other hand…u work things out to survive…which means ur doing just that… only surviving…but ur not necessarily in love or happy.
Re: Arranged Marriages
i have yet to witness any love marriage in my family......every single one is arranged ....n in many cases couples didn't know/saw/met each other before marriage.....some ups n downs aside, we all are doing perfect Alhamdulillah! :)
Re: Arranged Marriages
r they really though? or r they just “surviving”
we dont really know what they are feeling in their hearts nor are they gonna tell us cuz that wud be soooo tabu.
Re: Arranged Marriages
my marriage was also arranged and i am MASHALLAH very happy i never saw my hubby before marriage never met him before i just saw him 10 days before my wedding when they came for proposal .......
Re: Arranged Marriages
I can’t be 100% sure about all the others .(though i know some of my cousins ARE really happy n all)…but i can tell you about me …I thank my lord for making my life soooo perfect!! n i never met/spoke to my better half prior to marriage!
Re: Arranged Marriages
Dhalti jawani, meri chaal mustaani 