**I've heard before from likes of you
that arranged marriages are more successful than love
marriages. Where is the statistics coming from?
People who prefer arrange marriages do so for two
main reasons:
They are two lazy to put in the hard work themselves
that's needed to build the solid foundation for a
longer lasting relationship. After all, finding the
right candidate, approaching them, really wanting
to get to know them and then getting to know them,
building the trust, the committment, the relationship and
devotion is all hard work and time consuming. Arranged
marriages most often have the adults do 90% of all that work.
There's nothing left to build when two people
are shoved in a room by others and expected to do certain
things and act in certain ways.
The second reason, if something goes wrong in the
marriage it's very easy to have the middle person
be the scapegoat. Whereas, in a love marriage
situation, if something goes wrong the two people
have the utmost responsibility of having to fix
things and work things out themselves. They
are not bound to live with each other for the sake
of keeping other members in the extended family happy.
If they do, it's their choice. If they decide to go
separate ways that's their decision as well. They
are responsible and in complete control of their
life as opposed to doing things for the sake of
keeping others happy.
In response to the whole car analogy...like Fraudia
said, before you buy a car, you think about the
features you want in the car and then look further
into what's available out there. Much like how
things should be before they lead up to the marriage
stage. If the car breaks down, you take it to the
mechanic who fixes it. Unfortunately there's no third
mechanic to fix the marriage if you're not willing
to assume the responsibility yourself.
Before marriage, a person has to know what they
have to offer before they come up with their list
of expectations. And that's the things most
arrange marriage favors try to escape.**
Nobody plans to have an arranged marriage or the so called “LOVE marriage”. Granted that in our Eastern/ Desi culture it is a ‘usually’ a given that a person will get married to sum1 who has been ‘introduced’ by t/ family elders. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes sum1 maybe destined to meet their soul mate in a classroom, at work, in a bus (yes, one of my frnds met a girl in a bus, and later got married to each other) or heck, even on t/ net!