Inspired by Shinoo’s thread on Professional Rishta Maasis, I decided to share my ordeal. My mom has also ofcourse resorted to rishta maasis. I would personally like to meet someone , get to know them and then go along the marriage route but decided to let my mom go with the arranged marriage path. Now my question is how many people these days still go with totally arranged marriages and are totally happy with it? At our home, this rishta topic has been beaten to death and frankly I am getting frustrated: ammi ki aur meri pasand ka rishta nahi milta. I try telling my mom that these people meet people at work , school etc and then propose after getting to know them, versus having thier parents do the spouse finding. Am I correct??What do you guys think??Help an extremely frustrated guppy now 
i went to pakistan..met this girl one day and after two days i had my nikah with her..didnt even get to talk to her before it
i thought that i would wanna talk to my honay wali a few times before something happend..but i didnt get the chance and everything happend so fast..she is still there and i try to talk to her daily and so far everything is great..i just hope it works out for us..ameen :)
Hain!! Oye Sheraz… u got married!! 
Congratulations, man! This is wonderful news. :k: Where is mithai?
Sorry Ira, for side-tracking a bit. I would think that both forms of marriage (spouse selected by parents, and spouse selected yourself) are very much in fashion. It depends on your family (values) and your own personality. It also depends on whether you find someone on your own before your parents resort to their own ways to find you a mate.
Thanks Faisal..cant believe it myself..mithai CT aa ker khaiye aap
btw i couldnt really find the one i was lookin for so i got fed up and i went with an arrange marriage..obviously i had to go to pak and do some girl shopping lol but fortunately i found her right away..i really think its dumb to just wait for mr. or ms right..no one is perfect..c'mon ppl get married..enjoy life..aakhir budhay ho ker shadi main kiya maza hai
^
congratulations 
and ameen
im not sure abt whats in or out at the moment and i think it is like Faisal bhai said it depends if u found someone b4 ure parents find u someone, thats the way it works in my family,
Ira,
I'm all for meeting someone on my own, getting to know them and then baat aage barhaaye. My mum know's this and I don't think it's really a problem. She has however her own plans and asked 'help' from all kinda ppl (her sister, my sister) So basically whoever finds a suitable guy 1st is the 'winner' :p I guess I don't mind meeting someone my mother introduces me to cuz at the end it's all about compatitbility. SO either way works fine for me as long as I have the chance to GET TO KNOW THE PERSON.
:-)
What I'm seeing here in Holland is that many ppl are going 'out there' to look for a partner. Arranged marriages are having some serious competition
- Sheraz, congrats with ur marriage!
Who cares about fashion? Its yoru life.. do what floats your boat bhaiya
I am with Shinoo this time.
Sheraz… Mubaruk ho!
thanks xara, shinoo and mehnaz...now its ur turn
Personally I prefer the arranged marriage way.
The only thing I'm uncomfortable with is meeting people specifically for marriage purposes -- it's so embarassing! That's why I ask my family not to tell me beforehand why people are coming to meet us specifically for that because otherwise I won't wanna go in front of them.
The ideal thing to me would be for the guy's family to discretely find out about my family or whatever they wanna know, then send word to us to say they're interested. That way, when one does really meet the person, it won't be some kind of checking out session because they would have done that already. Some people are sweet and that's exactly what they do, which I appreciate.
does she say anything back too? 
j/k
Thanks for your replies folks.
Congrats to Scheraz! May Allah bless you and your spouse,Ameen :)
I feel that some people misunderstood me when i asked if arranged marriages are still in fashion. I meant to ask if they are still happening....especially in US. The reason being that my mom has been trying to find a suitable rishta and so far we havent found so many of them. And this is not about finding someone perfect. Either we are not looking in the right places or as i asked the question, arranged marriages are happening less often.
I would like to see more responses on this and see what everyone else has experienced so lets hope more people post :)
Arranged marriages are still IN. Are you ready to take the plunge, are you? If you are in love with the concept of getting married then it should not be a biggie….the way you get married and to whom you get married becomes secondary.
It is still pretty much a norm in Pakistan and the success rate is not bad either. Every now and then you hear a hero like SherazCT going back and getting married in their allotted two weeks vacation. Mobarik ho Shiraz. :-D FOB chicks are beautiful..no doubt! aik hufta hi kafi tha :-D
I dread arranged marriages and the urge to go to Pakistan during those two weeks…I’d rather fall in & out of love a couple of times … :-D
success rate ya samjhota rate?
Am I being stalked here :D I thought the change of nicks was gonna do the trick hehe
I know people who have found their own spouse and I know people who have married without ever meeting their spouse. But my marriage was an in between and somewhat liberal 'arranged' marriage. I knew that I wanted my family's approval and blessing. So I wanted them involved in finding the guy, but not necessarily in making me marry him if i didn't want to. They were really cool about it and didn't give me any pressure, almost to the point of not giving advise. They said about my husband, "Ucha larka ha, Opko bi ucha lugtha?"
I wouldn't have heard that if I had found him myself. My family was much more at ease because they introduced me to him. I personally can't imagine not getting to know your spouse before marriage. You must know if you're compatible and if you two can make a happy marriage. Traditionally it's believed that you will get to know eachother later and make compromises, you will learn to sacrifice. But it's often the woman who has to put up with a difficult personality and then wish she could get out of the relationship. I do know some much older women (friends of friends) who are basically 'beaten spirits'. They have lived so long with a mean and abusive man that they are so timid and tired. The only way they are married still is because they haven't spoken up or protested. I'm not saying all arranged marriages end up that way. My point is that women in our culture are taught to make great sacrifices in order to keep their husbands happy. And older generations often stay in situations that they got stuck in because their parents arranged that marriage for them.
Everyone has a variation on the definition of an arranged marriage. For the most part in today’s desi society though, marriages aren’t as strict or as “arranged” as they once were. When I was engaged, my ex-fiance and I would go out dining or shopping together (with our mutual families’ consent of course) when he would come down from London to see me. We even went ring-shopping (just the two of us) and bought the ring without our folks’ knowing exactly why we had gone out that particular time. I think within decent limits, you HAVE to get to know the person you will potentially be marrying, there is no way around it these days. Also, I think parents today are much more conforming to the idea of their kids being open with their potential and/or finding someone on their own.
BTW, great news Sheraz. Congrats!
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sheraz CT: *
Thanks Faisal..cant believe it myself..mithai CT aa ker khaiye aap
btw i couldnt really find the one i was lookin for so i got fed up and i went with an arrange marriage..obviously i had to go to pak and do some girl shopping lol but fortunately i found her right away..i really think its dumb to just wait for mr. or ms right..no one is perfect..c'mon ppl get married..enjoy life..aakhir budhay ho ker shadi main kiya maza hai
[/QUOTE]
bohot bohot mubarak ho...bohot khushi hoi sun ke..
Hamare liye bhi dua karein....
fayz its not as easy as you think..i didnt think i had a chance to meet someone and get married so fast but i guess it was time..its too early but she is the kinda girl i alwys wanted as a wife
thanks Ira..sweetpie
wish u all the best sharabi..Allah kare tumko bhi meri tarah khoobseerat aur khoobsurat biwi milay :D
nescio..she is takin her time..which is actually good..we dont know each other too well so i understand..but chaltay waqt mainay ek shair suna diya wife ko..arz kiya hai:
mohubbat abhi nahi hogi..woh thori dair baad main hogi
jab sheraz america chala jayega..to uski yaad say hogi haha
yeh sunn ker woh hassi to samjho phassi ;)
i think families finding a spouse for you is now ONE of the many options you have for finding your spouse...i know many friends who are open to family finding their spouse but they are also meeting people through friends, the net, work, school, matrimonials, friendster/naseeb, etc....
so it's not the only way....but it is an option. I think if you get stuck in finding someone just in one way..then you might not have as many options as you would if you opened up to all there is out there...but that is IMHO.