Arranged Marriage and all that hoop-laa

Re: Arranged Marriage and all that hoop-laa

This is pretty risky imo. I don't know why some Pakistani parents feel that these are the only suitable rishtas. As if the fact that the guy and his family rely on your family for financial support (i.e. the wedding, moving, the visa, settling in a new country) will somehow make him indebted to you and therefore a safer bet.

From what I have seen first hand, this is never the case. We all know what the worst case scenario is, although I think it is rarer. But more normally what happens is that there is a lot of resentment on both sides. The husband actually ends up finding it difficult to deal with the fact that his wife and in-laws are responsible for everything. They generally find it hard to find work and can spend a long time unemployed. The wife has resentment over the same issues and then things that we see examples of here on GS (and I see with some of my own cousins with whom this has happened with), where she is working to support them both but at the same time the husband wants a "traditional" wife who will take care of all the cooking and chores.

Just make sure you're going into this with your eyes open. I hope your parents have checked this guy and his family out thoroughly. If you have decided to go ahead then at least work on making sure he knows what he's in for when he moves to your country.

Re: Arranged Marriage and all that hoop-laa

Agree with Stoppit. :k:

Plus, if him and his family are living off of your parents, there’s a chance that one party can take advantage of another…or it could turn into a pride/ego issue…only fueling the frustrations/resentment that Stoppit has pointed out.

Re: Arranged Marriage and all that hoop-laa

YES!! I've heard that happen on more than one occasion. So, yeah.

Re: Arranged Marriage and all that hoop-laa

I totally agree .. lol ^_^ really well said