Don’t u get annoyed when your husband/fiance/bf doesnt care. I just hate it so much. If he (my fiance) doesn’t talk or give the slightest news of how he is and whats up its all okay with him. I mean i know he is fine but whats the big deal if he just comes out of his shell and initiates something himself. He hardly drops an email himself, hardly starts the chat even when he sees me online, hardly asks about health if i am unwell. Its so annoying!
I hate to be the clingy needy sort of girl but its so annoying. Its every girl’s basic need to talk to their guy. We do get to converse properly but that’s like once in 2-3 weeks that too if my luck strikes! I know he is busy with his work & and it is a demanding job but i am already tired of being understanding on this thing. I have a right to some of his time too. Once in the blue moon he does drop an email which too is a one-liner. Wow what a progress! I know for sure he isnt interested any where. But i fail to believe he is always busy. He has the logiv of ‘the lesser the better’ .. Arghh what ever!
This is when we girls resolve to emotional and sensitive schemes. I tried not contacting as well. For almost 2 days and he didnt correspond either. Now what am i supposed to do .. keep waiting for him to after ages give me priority as well. I hate to be the demanding sort and i am not liking my needy self either but i cant find a solution but to initiate and keep in touch myself. For him,i dont think i exist much. I know myself and that if i keep running after something so long i get sick of it and stop caring myself too and i fear that may happen and i stop caring as well. Its not something good to happen. also, he already knows that i want to communicate with him and there are my expectations as well.
I think many females want to be loved and want their partner to show and express his love from time to time. All I can say is that if you can reconcile your different personalities then it is good but otherwise you are not suited to each other, and perhaps it is not too late to start again with someone that is compatible.
First of all , stop running after him...he isnt going anywhere you know that....not every guy likes to be in touch with their fiance/gf/wives 24/7 ....i was some how like you but my case is a little bit different ...because before getting engaged i knew my fiance and we were sort of going through getting to know each other phase so we communicated a lot....but after engagement all this communication lessened ....in result ...i got irritated like you but he made me understand that he has to work and it becomes really difficult for him to manage between me n work for now.....but at the same time he said whenever you need me just give me a call or send an email/text...he will respond back.....so i gave him his space...now we get to talk to each other once a week...plus i send him email whenever its needed or i feel like talking to him....sometimes he replies back sometimes he cant which i dont mind because i know he is not ignoring my emails and whenever he gets time he replies to them so its all cool between us....give your fiance some space that he requires....i am sure he will miss your presence once you give him a chance to miss you
First of all , stop running after him...he isnt going anywhere you know that....not every guy likes to be in touch with their fiance/gf/wives 24/7 ....i was some how like you but my case is a little bit different ...because before getting engaged i knew my fiance and we were sort of going through getting to know each other phase so we communicated a lot....but after engagement all this communication lessened ....in result ...i got irritated like you but he made me understand that he has to work and it becomes really difficult for him to manage between me n work for now.....but at the same time he said whenever you need me just give me a call or send an email/text...he will respond back.....so i gave him his space...now we get to talk to each other once a week...plus i send him email whenever its needed or i feel like talking to him....sometimes he replies back sometimes he cant which i dont mind because i know he is not ignoring my emails and whenever he gets time he replies to them so its all cool between us....give your fiance some space that he requires....i am sure he will miss your presence once you give him a chance to miss you
Its the same scenario here. We chatted before the engagement to get to know each other before consenting. Since we did that a lot i am kind of used to that compared to what it is now. I know its very difficult for him to manage and he has mentioned that to me as well but i don't know why my expectations are still on to how our relation was originally. We don't have much to talk about or know about each other anymore nor is the excitement there much. I know he needs all the time for his work and his life..but it just fails to get through my mind. I try to keep myself busy but my head is stuck there. How did you understand it all and gave him the space he needs? How did you become that understanding?
Moderation is the key…I myself believe in Talk Less and Say More.
Dont you think its irritating if your fiance calls you thrice a day and you guys just drag the conversation by saying “aur…aur…aur”
Its not even close to this that it would get to aur..aur..aur. We hardly converse. We have never had a phone call conversation. Its just chat or email and that too hardly. Initially it was a lot but now expecting a one email is too much to expect?
Actually the problem here is raising the expectations of other person by talking a lot via email, chat, phone or whatever before formally getting engaged. I wonder, how some guys start feeling overburden soon after their engagement function...it does happen...Life gets changed, try to mold yourself accordingly....Dont care about him tooooooooooooooo much....Let him do his work in case he is busy, find some activities...spend time with friends and enjoy.
Its the same scenario here. We chatted before the engagement to get to know each other before consenting. Since we did that a lot i am kind of used to that compared to what it is now. I know its very difficult for him to manage and he has mentioned that to me as well but i don't know why my expectations are still on to how our relation was originally. We don't have much to talk about or know about each other anymore nor is the excitement there much. I know he needs all the time for his work and his life..but it just fails to get through my mind. I try to keep myself busy but my head is stuck there. How did you understand it all and gave him the space he needs? How did you become that understanding?
actually we will be getting married in november inshAllah so i am busy with shadi ki shopping etc....plus i am learning to cook as well...basically i am keeping myself busy secondly you have to understand that you cant be with this person all the time, in fact after shadi things will change more because he will have to divide his time between his work/parents/siblings/friends and you...so more adjustment to make on your part...as long as you are sure of your guy that he cares for you and loves you...it becomes easy to get accustomed to his ways....as far as how i became so understanding is concerned....i also used to fret over petty things like that ....initially i bugged him alot but then he just explained things that i am making him worried by being paranoid .....so he suggested to me that i keep myself busy with learning things that i will require after shadi etc or otherwise as well....so i had to calm myself........i know he is not going anywhere and we try to catch up once a week so its all fine now:)....
you do the same...keep yourself busy but dont feel bad if he doesnt contact you or send you an email.... trust him when he says he is busy...dont doubt that he must be making up or doesnt want to talk to you....nothing wrong with initiating a conversation...do it without feeling bad towards him....try to involve him in everything you do by asking his suggestion....and enjoy your relationship:)
i suggest you pose all these questions to him. no one in here has a clue who or what your finane is, so cant really explain him. its better to ask him.
but my question he is. if you have this sort of negative attitude towards him today? how are you going to live with him for the rest of your life? also if you both plan to marry each other, i think it he his right to know this negativity growing in your head. its the same as you have the right to know what is going on in his head.
its not gonna be good if you start getting second thoughts about your relationship.
I make a point to call my wife twice but sometimes 3 times a day. Usually we talk for about an hour at a time unless I am busy in which I still talk to her for about 10 minutes. I think it is important to give time to your wife or fiancee even if you live apart.
If a guy doesn't like talking or feel the need to, life will probably continue that way. He will leave home in the mornings with a few words, be 'busy' at work all day, come home for dinner, you might exchange some comments over dinner unless you have the T.V. on etc. Yeh, once you're married you will spend time together but whether he will engage in conversation very much is something else.
so somewhere between 20 mins to 3 hrs? holy cow. its good but holy cow. i mean it must be after work or something, right?
i do the same brother, not to this extent, but very close. lol
I make a point to call my wife twice but sometimes 3 times a day. Usually we talk for about an hour at a time unless I am busy in which I still talk to her for about 10 minutes. I think it is important to give time to your wife or fiancee even if you live apart.
