Re: Are you career oriented/professional girls willing to marry down?
^ there are a lot of normal girls out there like this. Stop looking at the girls wearing Bollywood clothes and look at the real women out there.
Re: Are you career oriented/professional girls willing to marry down?
You’re a very educated, high achieving female doctor in one of the most rigorous and competitive medical education systems in the world. You’re a 1%er in terms of educational achievement. I bet you don’t even have the time, desire or energy to focus on looks, OTT make up and latest fashion trends even if you wanted to, youre out doing good and making impact on human lives on a day to day basis. So the above post doesn’t apply to you and other Pakistani girls who have prioritized enriching their lives with meaningful endeavors as opposed to focusing on superficial things.
Re: Are you career oriented/professional girls willing to marry down?
I don’t think girls like me are in the 1%. Nor do I think that because I’m a doctor, I automatically have those qualities. There are days that you might say “da**” if you talk to me. It’s not always green pastures and sheep in my life, just because of my career. In fact, most doctors are actually pretty angry in the US, given how they’re increasingly losing control over healthcare of their own patients.
Girls that are normal and down to earth and nice are plenty out there. But you have to look past the make up and nice hair-do’s. Sure we’ll do those too, but not on a daily basis, and that’s ok. You gotta be comfortable with REAL women, and you’ll find you’ll meet plenty of them. They’re everywhere.
Re: Are you career oriented/professional girls willing to marry down?
Is there really that many gas stations in America?
Re: Are you career oriented/professional girls willing to marry down?
From what I can see if a girl has a decent job and good education she would want someone on the same level. Nothing wrong with that, after all they worked hard to get where they are and marrying a taxi driver wouldn’t make sense. With regards to guys focusing on getting a good education and a decent job, not everything is always black and white. There are many reasons why a guy isn’t pursuing an education, broken families, personal issues, different responsibilities, supporting your family financially etc I read a report a few years ago about how British Pakistanis are near the bottom when average wage earned yearly. And in general I don’t know any doctors or anything like that around me. Everyone just has a normal job that a normal person has. I even know educated people with average minimum wage jobs, and that doesn’t mean one doesn’t have ambition. It’s just the hand you’re dealt. There’s nothing wrong with striving to still better oneself, but eventually it’ll grind them down and they’ll just be like all the rest. Everything doesn’t work out for everyone, doors have to open, most require a great support network to help push them.
Most girls with great professional jobs make their own choices I guess, after all marriage is a one time thing and one shouldn’t value themselves lower than what they’re worth and if they believe they deserve the best than they should hold out for it. InshaAllah it’ll work out for them. On the other hand I’m sure they’re girls who don’t mind the education part and I believe there to be way more important things in a partner than an education. For me personally an education doesn’t define who is person or what they represent. Having an ambition doesn’t equal education alone. It works both ways, would I want my future wife to have an education just so she can prove she has an IQ above 100? Of course not. Who she is as a person is way more valuable. Someone who is street wise, has morals, manners, is caring, humourous, isn’t serious and personality, humble etc (not that I’m saying educated people don’t have any of the above).
Sure more doors open with a degree but to much success and money blinds allot of people and you might start to neglect the things that really matter. Your actions and the way you support your family and wife is a priceless attribute. And for the girls who say their partner would become jealous cause they’re female and more successful than them just cause they got far with their education and their husband doesn’t have one, I wouldn’t put all guys in the same basket. Not every guy is unemotionally supportive. Also, it could still happen anyway, some guys who have a same or better education than their wife will see her having a better job than them could end up resenting her anyway. Moral of the story, who a person is matters more than a piece of paper and a job that rarely gives you family time. Your actions and the way you support your family and wife is a priceless attribute.
Most guys have an average job, average wage and enjoy life and life itself is a struggle, having a degree doesn’t always equal success. Remove Asians from the equation, how many white/black people with average jobs get married and give “has my partner got a degree” a single thought? Most don’t. I work with mostly white girls and the ones that are married are married to guys who haven’t gone uni and have a normal job (retail, warehouse, buses etc) and that’s reality. Not everyone is gonna be a doctor, lawyer etc I guess everything falls into place if the right doors open for you, alot of Asian girls want a guy who’s at least educated and most aren’t. As mentioned earlier probably why Asian guys are looking abroad for a wife as they would have less requirements. I guess everything matters these days, attraction, personality, education, job etc something has to give way. If you’re lucky to find exactly what you’re looking for, well done. Your only dilemma will you be what they’re looking for? And while you’re waiting for that perfect elusive guy to come along, you’ll be 35 and having the settle down with the same average Joe you could have settled down with 10yrs earlier and probably had amazing time with.
With Asians, cause most of us have “arranged marriages” most have a fair idea of what they want. Nothing wrong with that but there also isn’t anything wrong is giving someone a chance who doesn’t have a stronger education than you. Maybe some of them should stop wanting it all and focus on what really matters.
Re: Are you career oriented/professional girls willing to marry down?
There is nothing more annoying than a shallow girl whose top priority is make up and shopping. That being said, I hope you understand the difference between being obsessed about your looks, and being presentable.
Marriage requires sacrifices and understanding from BOTH the sides. Will a guy stop meeting his friends after his marriage? I dont think so. But if a girl does the same, she will be blamed for living the ‘single’ life.
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“A lot of girls are into this but Pakistani girls just take it to another level it seems to the point it becomes OTT, often times takes precedence over more meaningful qualities like becoming educating, avoiding vices and being a good person and Muslim, etc.”
^**Typical male mentality. You need to work as much on getting education, avoiding vices, and becoming a good person and Muslim, not just the ‘superficial’ girls you are talking about.