Re: Are you career oriented/professional girls willing to marry down?
Actually it was two of my phupos and trust me, they had nakhra. THe guys that they wanted had even more nakhra then them (elitist/rich guys).
As far as making excuses, this is the reality in the UK (although this reality doesn’t apply to me! lol). Alot of my old school friends (guys I literally grew up with) who get looked down upon simply because they never read a book or two and passed a couple of exams, lol.
Surely here in the UK, when girls were being outperformed by boys, girls should have rolled up their sleeves and women shouldn’t have expected government to make sweeping reforms to the education system to help them.
Look, guys need to work harder, absolutely, I agree with you. However governments should help guys, particularly here in the UK. If they are underperforming, why are they underperforming and what can be done to help them?
My phupos saw hundreds of rishtas - to short, to fat, looked at me the wrong way, to many sisters, MIL is to chalak, guy’s to introverted etc etc. Whilst I feel one has the right to not marry down so to speak, a little bit of compromise is required. Guys my phupos turned down in their twenties are the same guys they were begging for once they hit their mid thirties. They never snapped out of it until my dad got angry with them and told them to snap out of it and reminded them they have no father and asked them what they would do when god forbid anything happened to him. I know the girls will say, well they had careers etc, they would have been fine, but sometimes you need your own family and kids. My sister on the other hand, is totally different, literally the seond rishta that was available for her, she accepted (although the guy is pretty well educated and makes a very good salary, plus none of the sasu amma drama).
I’ve recently had cousins who have married guys not established or with numerous sisters to be married off without a father etc. Sometimes you need to look where you could potentially be 10 years from now. One of my khalas married a guy who’s visa literally running out, they did no walima, didn’t have money for a home etc. We helped them out for a year, by which time the guy established himself and now he brings home £80K basic a month before bonus (15 odd years later). Sometimes you got to take a chance!
As far as intimidating you, nothing could be further from the truth. I am merely give my two cents and experiences from within my own family. I have a phupo’s daughter who has literally rejected hundreds of rishtas and now she is early thirties they are in panick mode, guys she rejected are happily married with kids to educated, pretty “suljihuwi” bahu types. The guys they see now have the nakhra, they want girls in their twenties. I agree that a person should know their self worth (this is badabing you’re talking to!) but humbling yourself sometimes is a requirement and indeed a necceisty.
I would gladly accept the guys you think your aunts should have accepted. I am open to those type of rishtas. Read my blogs. My main problem is 1) getting the guy to call 2) getting the guy to meet and 3) getting the guy to keep talking to me AFTER he meets me.
The only few times I’ve rejcted guys - there really was no compatibility. I cringed in their presence because they were just … really weird. I don’t know how else to put it. They came a few feet close to me, and I had to step away.
No one wants a wife who doesn’t want to be touched by them. So I thought it unfair to continue. One is now happily married, and he and his wife are clearly into each other so that’s good. The other is still looking, and I’m sure he will find someone he can connect with and be happy with. It’s just not going to be me.
I think it has to do with how they talk and move. Just total turnoffs.
Who knows maybe I was being picky too.