Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

Numb:

when our soul requires maintenance our entire life, how can you say that there is a stage where the household no longer requires maintenance?

**What is there for a woman to do at home when the children are grown up and look after themselves? When household chores are very limited because the grown up children do them? When all the food for the week can be cooked one week in advance?

Or even when your servants clean the house and your servants cook the food?**

Numb:

This is the Problem. Why not only live with what Allah has blessed every human being? If this young couple truly desires a BMW, then to me they belong to this rich class section. No, we do not like this car, but if I go to work, we can afford it. Ever seen a african child truly having a desire for one drop of water? I have, then you forget all the honda's, BMW's, Mercedes and what not. Private Education? I rather educate my children than sending them to some private school. What is a private school? They have access to personal teachers, have their own personal computer, personal box for their important stuff, personal cook. If they do not learn, the teacher will learn until you have done and your parents pay 'n' pay...Why not make this available for everyone? Does not everyone have a right for maximum education?

If people drop ambition then they won't want luxuries. But most people desire more than they have, and there is a clear and easy way to get it - for the wife to work as well.

Numb:

No wonder the Husband's income is low when the Manager earns 3/4 of his workers effort. Another strategy to force the woman out of her house and uncover her.

Managers make so much more because that is what their skills in organization and leadership is worth compared to the mere manual labour of their workers.

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Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

To answer the original question, I think most of the times, back in Pakistan, the women prefer to stay home and let their husbands be the primary breadwinners of the family. Even if they work, it's for extra money, or just for fun or a passion. Regarding dominating men...well, I've seen many women being the bosses with most of the charge in their hands...all the husband's money is handed over to the wife and she is in charge of running the home. In fact the guys have to ask their wives for some spare cash! And on the other hand, you see women who are completely dominated by their husbands and aren't even allowed to visit their maikas.

But personally, I would say that while being an exact equal sounds ideal, I still like my husband to take a lead on major decisions in our home not because I think I am incapable of making good decisions but because I think it releases me of the pressure...there's nothing good or bad about this. All this being a doormat and all is a self created victimization deal for many of us women who love to be martyrs.

All true and Good points but GOD FORBID someone wants a better life, nicer tings etc..they are totally villified :rolleyes:

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

There's nothing wrong with a woman working. My mom always worked and her income did help our family a lot. But she was careful to work at jobs that allowed her to be available for us, and if she wasn't then dad was. I think as long as the couple can juggle things, it's fine.

Pakistan is made of varied types of people and cultures and norms. In some families these issues are non existent. In some - they are more prevalent.

My mom worked her entire life in Pakistan. My mom does all the billing of the house. Usually doesn't consult my dad about purchases regarding the house. But major decisions like where to live, buying a car, careers, kid's marriage - my dad takes the lead. I don't know whether you can call that dominence or not.

An analogy is like driving a car - there is a driver and a passenger. Both cannot be drivers - otherwise you'll just crash.

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

^that is a well balanced approach. I definitely like the analogy however the question i am asking isnt to do with who will do the driving. It is more with perspective in mind that as a society do we rip women from their legitimate rights? As i already said to mamao3 that being able to earn money isnt the main question here but having her the status of partner is. Which means that their input is valued and seeked and awareness about their rights is atleast at the same page for wider majority.

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

i think the ability for women to be financially independant is one thing but it doest cover all the issues. What of women who choose to be house wives? they can be supressed and heaven knows they are. It is to me more of an attitude problem.

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

Khadija RA worked, and was rather successful at it.

It is the man's responsibility to provide for his wife and his family; she shouldn't have to support the family. It's the woman's primary responsibility to look after her home and her children and her husband; if these are taken care of - then if she wants to work, why shouldn't she? Sometimes nice shoes cost more money than a husband can spare at the moment. This world would be so much poorer if not for the professional contributions of women. Some of us actually enjoy working! Gives us pleasure, pride, all that jazz.

  • gasp
  • Don't anyone dare suggest that it's haraam, or even frowned upon, for a woman to be employed.

In response to the original post - I'm a woman, and heck yes, women are subjugated in Desi culture. Islam has given us guidelines for how to dress and behave - for both men and women - but Arab and Indian (continentally) men conveniently forget Qur'an and sunnah whenever it suits them.

As I understand it, women are head of the household, but men are the head of the family. It makes sense to me.

Desert bird - where are you getting your opinions from? You sound like you hang out in all the wrong places, at all the wrong times.

I got you,, In pakistan there is no more respect for women with a sigh and shamfull words are here, Pakistani men just need women to be their bed partner and nothing else.. there are no more values.. because our souls are curropted, Allah o Akbar..

I cant say a word on it, it might be very hard words..

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

^^ This Aunty is not even Pakistan national , not even lived here , come sometimes for in-laws marriages etc and run back , so who cares about her views about pinching etc.

Pinching might be a bigger case because in which country she lives , women are raped after every 2 minutes .Go and check stat !

**
SEXUAL VIOLENCE**

According to the National Crime Victimization Survey, which includes crimes that were not reported to the police, 232,960 women in the U.S. were raped or sexually assaulted in 2006. That’s more than 600 women every day. Other estimates, such as those generated by the FBI, are much lower because they rely on data from law enforcement agencies. A significant number of crimes are never even reported for reasons that include the victim’s feeling that nothing can/will be done and the personal nature of the incident

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE (Intimate Partner Violence or Battering)

Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship that is used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. According to the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, women experience about** 4.8 million **intimate partner-related physical assaults and rapes every year.4 Less than 20 percent of battered women sought medical treatment following an injury

**
MURDER**

In 2005, **1,181 women **were murdered by an intimate partner.1 That’s an average of three women every day. Of all the women murdered in the U.S., about one-third were killed by an intimate partner

http://www.now.org/issues/violence/stats.html

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

In the United States, 1.3 women are raped every minute. That results in 78 rapes each hour, 1872 rapes each day, 56160 rapes ech month and 683,280 rapes each year.

1 out of every 3 American women will be sexually assulted in her lifetime.

The United States has the world’s highest rape rate of the countries that publish such statistics. It’s 4 times higher than Germany, 13 times higher than England, and 20 times higher than Japan.

1 in 7 women will be raped by her husband.

83% of rape cases are ages 24 or under.

1 in 4 college women have either been raped or suffered attempted rape.

1 in 12 males students surveyed had commited acts that met the legal definition of rape.

Furthermore, 84% of the men who had commited such acts said what they had done was definitely not rape.

75% of male students and 55% of female students involved in acquintance rape had been drinking or using drugs.

Only 16% of rapes are ever reported to the police.

rape statistics

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

**
British rape figures, already shocking**

There are those among us who, in our naive, glass-half-full fashion, did not believe that British rape statistics could get any worse. After all, with the British Crime Survey estimating that** 47,000 rapes occur each year,** the rates are already redolent of nothing so much as a war zone. (I realise that people often don’t believe statistics, but this survey is indisputably huge - 45,000 people were interviewed for it - and, as far as I know, it is not carried out by a cabal of radicals.)

Yet, incredibly, the numbers continue to rise, or at least spike. In the last three months of 2004, for instance, there came a sudden surge, with rape cases rising by 18 per cent. In October to December, the months when British women defy the cold, hail and snow by donning their shortest skirts and heading for the bars (give it about a month until we all start up again), the figures burgeoned.

New Statesman - Are all men rapists after all?

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

**
God save the Queen !**

1 in 4 women have experienced rape or attempted rape

Painter, 1991 Survey of 1,007 women in 11 cities, Northern England

1 in 7 women have been coerced into sex, rising to 1 in 3 among divorced and separated women

Painter, 1991 Survey of 1,007 women in 11 cities, Northern England

The most common perpetrators of rape are husbands and partners

Painter, 1991 Survey of 1,007 women in 11 cities, Northern England

97% of callers to Rape Crisis Lines knew their assailant prior to the assault Rape Crisis Federation of England and Wales

Analysis of RCF members’ records,
England and Wales

During 2001 it is estimated that 190,000 incidents of serious sexual assault and
47,000 female victims of rape/attempted rape

Walby & Allen, 2004 British Crime Survey 2002

Campaign to End Rape - Statistics

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

I am not proving Pakistan as Utopia

But those champions of women rights here who open threads about women and start rand* rona that women in Pakistan are living in such conditions , yai wo flana tamkeena , just look at the stats of most modern advanced countries like US and UK where sex is not crime , youth colleges,schools , universities , clubs, bars, homes ...everywhere its go on and most of people do that as there are no restrictions even then thier rape stats are worst in the world !


Sharam tum to magar nahee aati !***

(Ghalib)

Actually the stats you give undermine your argument. Your statistics say that while 1 in 4 women experience rape or attepted rape, the most common perpetrators are husbads/partners.

In Pakistan and just about every other Muslim country, the law does not recognise rape by a husband as rape; so this wouldn't roll into statistics.

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

Sir , its not my stats.google it.Stats are not 100% right , they show trend and probab. Even you include muslin rape by husbands in data , it will not even touch the lowest point of graph of western stats.

again i am saying much much things happened here and other muslim countries but those who point fingers on others and open such threads should also know about what happens to women where they themselves live

regards

NIk there are few people who understands this, that women can work and can help in making a family future, but in our society nobody agrees for that, Normally what people think is lady is not good, or have bad habbits, or needs freedom, or she is loose character, just because of these bull**** reasons the people who may allow their wives to work cant allow ....

Pakistani society is unbelievable... but i dont care coz I dont have any problems like this... My entire famliy allows us to work, and they prefer a girl who is practical and professional. according to my mother, a lady who is practical and professional can handle her famliy and husband and kids in a very well manner.

And that is true. very true.

If I were married, I would never say a word to my wife if she wants to work anywhere or wants to do some business.

im a female and the question to your answer is yes, they are.

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

Desert bird, why are you comparing Pakistan to other cultures? Do they have the Qur'an and Sunnah? No, they don't.

If anything, the only people you should be comparing to are Rasulallah (saw) and his Companions, and how they treated the women in their lives.

Re: Are women subjugated in Pakistani society?

^ i think its because some of us get insecure. nowhere in this thread would you see people applauding western approach, which is why i said in my first post that this isnt a comparison rather an examination by our own standarads. but to no avail.