Maybe this has been studied and already a foregone conclusion but I find that girls, without nurture, are predisposed to wanting to please…
Do you think this might be the cause for women of all cultures being more accommodating/tolerant of abusive relationships?
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Yes
and yes.
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Muzna, what about factors such as .....a woman not being financially independent and therefore puts up with the abuse? Or social stigma? The realization that it would be harder for her to remarry (so you put up with things)? Toxic upbringing?
As far as predisposition, could the tendency for women to over-analyze have something to do with it? Take the book, "He's Just Not That Into You". According to the author, women make excuses for a guy's minor behavior....such as he didn't call me because he's shy/afraid to be in a relationship,etc as opposed to he's just not interested. I'm trying to connect this example to the question you've posed. Making excuses for the abusive behavior?
As far as wanting to please....I've heard that there are many things that men do to earn the approval of women...from working out to driving a nice car, etc.
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
rv...I'm sure the other factors that you mention all have a hand in the decision making process.......but I don't think that they can be identified as inherent nature.
As for the tendency to over-analyze......I'm sure that this plays a role as well.....and this may be an inherent quality.
Men do things to please women as well.....but would they hang around in an abusive situation? I somehow doubt it.
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Do you think men are predisposed not to hang around in an abusive situation? If the tendency to over-analyze would be an inherent quality in women....then would be the inherent quality in men that would prevent them staying in an abusive situation?
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Maybe this has been studied and already a foregone conclusion but I find that girls, without nurture, are predisposed to wanting to please......
Do you think this might be the cause for women of all cultures being more accommodating/tolerant of abusive relationships?
To please is one of the basic qualities of women. It gives pleasure to women themselves also, if they see others pleased by their actions.
(Exceptions do apply because of some other lifetime experiences)
Cause is a bit strong word, but it may facilitate (or give excuse to) others with bad intention, to abuse this good quality in women.
Not all 'abuse' of women are faclitated/brought by this urge to please.
Please explain why added 'without nurture'. I think I know what you meant but...again, I think it was unnecessary.
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Oo interesting.. can someone post more info around womens nature to over analyze things please!
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Women aren’t programmed to please apparently 
They just exist to make men’s lives miserable.
And apparently they aren’t accomodating/tolerant of abusive relationships at all. They provoke abusive behaviour. :no:
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
lol @ this thread
I don't think so.
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Yes women are programmed to please but original programmer has not provided any comments or documentation of code hence we cant understand the logic
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
@diwana -- "without nurture" meant without being taught to please.....
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Are they programmed to please ?
cant say much but bhoy O bhoy they have really programmed well … as even our smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for later retrieval 
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Women do have an inherent trait of being the more flexible, nurturing and with the tendency to please others. This is why they are expected to adapt, adjust and compromise and some go the extreme of putting up with domestic violence and abuse for years. Now *that *would be the fault of the toxic upbringing as RV has mentioned earlier. Not an inherent quality. For women have also been given something known as self esteem and self worth by God.
However they end up being misunderstood as one can never be a people pleaser completely. Kisi na kisi ko masla hota rehta hai. Also they think more with emotions rather than logic which again gets them into more trouble than men :p
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
I don't think it is just women ... there are some men out there too who are total "pleasers".
This comes down to putting someone else's needs before your own .... which is great to a certain extent. People always get satisfaction out of helping others and making them feel good. Our culture and religion emphasizes helping others. It's also just human nature, especially if you are not a selfish person to begin with.
I honestly think we should teach our kids, both boys and girls, that it is NOT ok to put someone else's needs before your own if it means you will suffer in the process and in the end result. It's OK to say NO.
Kids learn from watching behaviour. If you are able to be assertive and say no when someone pushes you around or asks you to do something that you really do not want to do because it will hurt you, humiliate you, degrade you or simply make you feel bad, hopefully our kids will be able to be assertive as well when they are older. This actually helps create confidence. Saying no and being OK internally with yourself for saying no is something that we ALL need to work on.
I'm telling you, every single person on the planet should read the "Nice Girls Syndrome". The concepts discussed applies to boys as well.
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Muzna, what about factors such as .....a woman not being financially independent and therefore puts up with the abuse? Or social stigma? The realization that it would be harder for her to remarry (so you put up with things)? Toxic upbringing?
I've seen too many situations where women are totally dependent on their husband, yet still have the ability to stand up for themselves when pushed. These women believe in themselves and have a healthy (and sometimes extreme) sense of self-worth.
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
I don't think so. I think when it comes to pleasing God or pleasing mankind, men and women have the equal capability of doing that.
Although, in our society and I'm sure in many other societies women are made to do things or it is expected from women to be more patient or silent regarding their rights. I think those societies have often mistaken a woman's femininity with her level of tolerance.
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
Result of natural selection.
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
I would say asian born women are more accomodating and want to please their husbands. Western women would want a more equal partnership. They each have two seperate programs. I prefer version 1.0.
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
^LOL...
Re: Are Women Programmed to Please?
To please is one of the basic qualities of women. It gives pleasure to women themselves also, if they see others pleased by their actions. (Exceptions do apply because of some other lifetime experiences)
Cause is a bit strong word, but it may facilitate (or give excuse to) others with bad intention, to abuse this good quality in women.
Not all 'abuse' of women are faclitated/brought by this urge to please.
Please explain why added 'without nurture'. I think I know what you meant but...again, I think it was unnecessary.
I missed the "without nurture" part. just realised what you ment and i agree,but not just women, anyone without nurture be it man or women will want to please and do good things for their family. Example in case a husband who was beaten and ignored by his father would want to be a great loving father himself.