Guys… do ambitious and career minded women appeal to you. would you like a challenging relationship with a woman or just a submissive doormat?
what else about todays women puts you off…
Gals you can add your views too..about men turnoffs…
if she can keep the house alongwith "career" then no problem :).
i wonder why do ppl think the women who keep the home and are not career-minded r 'submissive doormat'?
i was wondering the same thing.....:)
Basically I just got to like them and vice versa. If they want to pay for everything that's fine by me, but highly unlikely I'd say.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Changez_like: *
if she can keep the house alongwith "career" then no problem :).
[/QUOTE]
And what if SHE expects this from you, the HUSBAND? Would you do both too?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by funguy: *
And what if SHE expects this from you, the HUSBAND? Would you do both too?
[/QUOTE]
Housekeeping isn't the husband's primary role in our culture or our society.
^ wait til you get married
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by mAd_ScIeNtIsT: *
Housekeeping isn't the husband's primary role in our culture or our society.
[/QUOTE]
Our society or our culture has a lot of other rubbish rituals as well; so I suppose we should just set common sense aside and do what society tells us to.
maddy, parrh likh kay ganva diya hay tum nay bachay.
i for one would like to take women up on this..
How comfortable would they be being the sole bread earner for the family, putting in their fair share in housework and raising the kids and also put up with a husband who puts on 50 pounds right after he gets married?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by hayaa: *
Our society or our culture has a lot of other rubbish rituals as well; so I suppose we should just set common sense aside and do what society tells us to.
maddy, parrh likh kay ganva diya hay tum nay bachay.
[/QUOTE]
Parrh likh kay I've come to this conclusion. I was actually considerably more liberal on this topic before I went to university.
:k:
and btw on another note, if someone wants to be a ‘submissive doormat’…why is that bad?
PA,
Man I hope for your sake you are not married. You are just comitting suicide. 
Well, I like ambitious and career minded women BUT I am not really a career minded individual,. no matter how ambitious I am.
I have seen that women who work and maintain a promising career in our society have to work on two fronts. For them life is not a piece of cake. Our men with the exception of a minority expects a working wife to perform her household duties in the same way no matter how tired she is... there is no concept of helping around with the household chores in our part of the world( yet again exceptions are there). I think in such circumstances a man should be understanding enough...
Personally, I would either quit the job, take a long leave or else move from full time job to part time whenever I'll get married no matter how educated I would be by that time or how much experience I have... For me, its important to focus on the family life and to take care of the basics. MAny women do that without quitting the job, kudos to them but I am not that type Or maybe I dont 'want' to do that.
PakistaniAbroad "How comfortable would they be being the sole bread earner for the family, putting in their fair share in housework and raising the kids and also put up with a husband who puts on 50 pounds right after he gets married? "
We all know what such men are called...
Well, a modern woman if she is doing all the stuff herself would rather kick him out then put up with 'kisay kam na joga husband.'
Education n career is important for women but its not everything. I personally don't prefere to be a female who would not give up her career - job for a family. I think there should be a balance. But when kids arrive then the main concentration should be the kids and family, as which kid would like to have a long hours working mom n dad. I remember growing up my main importance was after coming home from school was to have mom at home, warm meal and someone to look forward to (kids are selfish i know). Like lost soul, I agree that part time work is the solution when kids are small.
As for men not helping @ home, this is truely unjust. When females can make so many sacrifises why cant men help around in the household. I tell every female to let her son's work at home, i hate nothing more when mothers spoil their sons and let their daughters do everything at home. When teenager boys are not taught anything at all. Guys should learn to cook, clean and work at home, everythings that females also learn. This whole culture, societly concept, role giving is just stupid.
I agree with what you are saying changez_like.. but yet you meet some men who are obnoxious and dominant towards their wives/partners... these women could have done so well for themselves in careers but give it all up and end up becoming their doormats.... which brings me to your point Rhia.... Not every woman who is not career minded is considered doormat. Even a single woman who is in a relationship can be one. Basically... its about any woman who wishes to become a doormat..does so at her own will.
Mr Xtreme...that would be wishful thinking rite :)
Funguy.. its sad but true that even men become their wives doormats. thats their choice. Mad scientist.. No doubt housekeeping isnt the primary role of a husband in "our society". but what kind of society exactly are we living in or choose to live in today. We are bound by the norms of hectic lifestyles..and it would only be considered unfair to leave the chores to the wife. if she has a career she cannot singlehandedly also do the household and bringing up of children at the same time... unless shes a widow or is separated.
Irem.. its okay to be submissive but definitely not a doormat. i dont think any woman would want to be in that situation. a doormat is one who is always fearful and unhappy.... is desperate to keep their partners affections.. she doesnt know what she wants...and most of all her partner will definitely not care about her.
Lost soul and Saadia B ...agree with you both. when it comes to family..that should be top priority. but have u ever wondered how single mothers or widows handle their lives. i really admire their courage.. toiling so hard..all on their own.
PA.... what kind of woman want to put up with a man like that.
^ you have summedup all the points nicely. Well, I know its difficult for a single mother to raise kids all on her own without any support. When I look around, I find child rearing as the toughest part of a married couples life. My mom raised us singlehandedly (after our fathers death)when we were about to enter our teenage, so I know how hard it is( though I still think I can't comprehend that), albiet she never ever made us feel anything.
I agree with Sadia B that many a times we as children are unreasonable with our mothers when she has to work at home as well as outside, take care of her children as well as the husband who ( in many desi setups) acts like a child once he is back from work. :-D So, all in all trends are changing but well the changes are taking place at snail's pace.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by funguy: *
^ wait til you get married
[/QUOTE]
I am ;), doesn't change. My wife agrees that if she pursues career she'll still keep the house :) though I am a helping hand.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by shine1: *
Irem.. its okay to be submissive but definitely not a doormat. i dont think any woman would want to be in that situation. a doormat is one who is always fearful and unhappy.... is desperate to keep their partners affections.. she doesnt know what she wants...and most of all her partner will definitely not care about her.
[/QUOTE]
u r right yara it sucks to be fearful n unhappy all the time...
but rnt we all desperate to keep our loved ones' affection...u think thats gonna make the other person not care...? hmmm...thats sad :(
never been in a relationship of that kind so dono...but hope inshallah its not like that :(