I am on an American mom n tots forum and one mother recently asked for references for a gynecologist. Some names were mentioned and the mom asked “Are they English or Indian?”
What would your reaction be to this comment?
EDIT. Just want to add that this is a forum of all white women. I am the only non white person here
Re: Are they English or Indian?
Is that lal she said?
Is that lal she said?
Sorry I didnt understand?
Re: Are they English or Indian?
she said 'is that all she said?'
Re: Are they English or Indian?
Oh! Thanks..I was getting confused! Yes that is all she said. I felt there was an inference there. I wanted your opinions before I actually tell what happened next.
Re: Are they English or Indian?
as far as that comment is concerned, i think people are very picky when it comes to doctors so i wouldnt be surprised that race/gender or any other thing comes into question when picking one.
all i care when im picking a doctor is
so race never really comes into question however, i know a lot of aunties that only go to female indian/pakistani gynos because they just feel more comfortable with them and can speak to them in hindi/urdu/punjabi.
Re: Are they English or Indian?
There is kind of a prejudice against Desi docs sometimes in the west because the requirements for med school in Desi countries arent on the same level as in the West. Just like if its a "white" doc that went to med school somewhere in the carribean. Thats one thing I've heard pretty often.
Another is that...she may be more interested in seeing a Desi doc. They are (typicallY) much more open to ideas of homeopathy instead of conventional medicine.
Far less likely but also a possibility...is that the lady just wants someone similar to herself. Its a very personal, embarrassing type of checkup so nothing wrong with seeking someone who you can feel at least some degree of comfort with yeah?
as far as your question "what would your reaction be"....well I think I'd reply to her "Why do you ask?"
Re: Are they English or Indian?
OK..the reason I was asking was because I thought the comment was racist and I mentioned that on the forum. I told her that if she had a problem with accents she could have simply asked "Does he speak good English?". By pinpointing Indians, she was suggesting that she didnt like them. In our town, the medical community is made up of mostly foreigners so there were lots of other doctors with potentially strong accents like Arabs, Polish, Chinese so why did she pinpoint only Indians.
I was told that I was overreacting and that she was merely expressing a desire to have a doctor she could understand.
Re: Are they English or Indian?
It could be as simple as she doesn't relate with Indians. Maybe she finds it hard to understand their accent or their style of treatment. Perhaps not racist by intent but unfortunately appearing that way.
I am on an American mom n tots forum and one mother recently asked for references for a gynecologist. Some names were mentioned and the mom asked "Are they English or Indian?"
What would your reaction be to this comment?
EDIT. Just want to add that this is a forum of all white women. I am the only non white person here
My response would be somewhere along the lines of
"Irrespective/regardless of race, they are professional certified/licensed gynecologists. I would not list their names as references if I didn't think they were competent doctors. However, as an individual, if you feel more comfortable consulting with a doctor who shares a cultural background similar to your own, that's understandable. Best wishes in finding a good gynecologist. "
^ This way.......you're being polite.......but at the same time you are subtly bringing up the point that race has little to do with competency/intelligence/professionalism. :)
For all you know.......maybe the mother didn't mean anything rude by her comment. Perhaps seeing the list of exotic names, she was curious about the ethnicity of the references. Or she might have had a negative past experience with an Asian gynecologist or she has difficulty understanding them. You are right that this woman could have worded her comment more tactfully. Some people are so clueless when it social ettiquette.
Re: Are they English or Indian?
red velvet. u have TOO MUCH TIME ON UR HANDS
red velvet. u have TOO MUCH TIME ON UR HANDS
Hitchki........it seems you have too much time on your hands as well. At least I take out my time to make the effort to post comments that could be of some help to others. And if not that.....i try to post comments that make** some sense**.
Re: Are they English or Indian?
Gaah what is the big deal if she asked it?
No need to overthink/overcomplicate things. if someone doesnt want an indian doctor or does, why does it bother u?
Re: Are they English or Indian?
I went to this desi store the other day. I ordered boneless goat meat. He started telling me the price per pound to make sure that I can afford to buy and pay. So we desies have those kind of pre concieved notions about each other.
I am desi but I seek out non desi doctors for the simple reason that I do not feel the same attentiveness in a desi doctor if he is treating a desi .
I might be wrong but I feel that they assume many things about desi patients. So me being desi, has those pre concieved notions about desi doctors , then why a non desi should be deprived of that privilage ?
Re: Are they English or Indian?
I avoid interacting with Indian's because within 1 minute they ask your last name in a round about way then try to determine what your caste is....especially true with punjabis. Usually when they discover I am punjabi myself and can't figure out my caste, they try to "what village/town are you from" trick.....
Hitchki........it seems you have too much time on your hands as well. At least I take out my time to make the effort to post comments that could be of some help to others. And if not that.....i try to post comments that make** some sense**.
see, being consise isn't painful.
:)
Gaah what is the big deal if she asked it? No need to overthink/overcomplicate things. if someone doesnt want an indian doctor or does, why does it bother u?
I dont care that she didnt want an Indian doctor. She asked if they were English or Indian. I am in the States so she could have said American or Indian. She was referring to the accent but I felt that if she had issues with accents, even if it was Indian ones only, it was a public forum and just because everyone there is white, you cant say things that can be misconstrued. She could have simply asked, does he speak good English, or does he have a strong accent because I have trouble understanding them.
She also countered that her primary care physican was Indian and she didnt have a problem with her...so why ask if someone is Indian then??
I explained a few points as to why it could be construed as being discrimnatory and she agreed that it did come across that way. So it all got cleared up but I just wondered if I was overreacting. Living in a red neck place where people ask you where you are from and when you reply "Pakistan" they respond.."hey? wheres that then??" makes one a little paranoid I guess!
Re: Are they English or Indian?
I understand. I hate brown people too. bloody savages. First we give them an education and then they don’t even have the decency to ennunciate. Thats just a matter of good principles 
Re: Are they English or Indian?
Redneck is a racial slur.
After Pakistan being in lime light they still do not know where it is . 
Hitchki, I never said that being concise (correct spelling) is painful. I don’t base my posts on length, I base them on my own personal sense of thoroughness. If you, as an individual, don’t want to read my posts (long, medium, or short), you are not obligated to read them. :halo: