divorces happening these dayzz in your opinion?..
Re: are there too many..
not in these days ................but heard of quiet a few in recent years
Re: are there too many..
yes a lot
Re: are there too many..
I have seen lots of people getting divorced. Reason: no compromise
Re: are there too many..
I have personally seen many divorces over the last few years amongst Pakistanis in North America amongst friends and their acquaintances. It seems like now the tides turning over here, and arranged marriages with kids that grew up here, are not working out with the success that once did. Gone are the days when the girls would just stay quiet, and let their husbands be totalitarians and restrictive, like they are often so in Pakistan. I guess they know their rights and aren't willing to sacrifice their lives. Not blaming anyone though, not the guy or a girl, its just a societal adjustment/change.
Re: are there too many..
YES.
Yes.
** What's really disturbing to me is that in the past 10 years I've seen multiple divorces after 20+ years of marriage**.
wow..
i know of many women who have divorced this year, in this day and age us desi girls won't stand being mistreated, unlike the women years ago who were mistreated and abused in many ways.......
i know of many women who have divorced this year, in this day and age us desi girls won't stand being mistreated, unlike the women years ago who were mistreated and abused in many ways.......
Honestly, though a higher divorce rate might look gloomy, the fact that desi girls abroad are now finally standing up for their rights and refuse to be mistreated and become servants of their 'ladley' khawandhs is actually a good thing. I am not even talking about the ones who are abused severely.
wow..
I guess once the kids were grown up they felt less dedicated to working hard to make the marriage successful. And so what may have seemed like small annoyances and frustrations earlier became worse. For some, I understand why (years of mental or physical abuse, poorly matched arranged marriages, adultery -- all in desi couples), but for some, it seems to make much less sense.
Honestly, though a higher divorce rate might look gloomy, the fact that desi girls abroad are now finally standing up for their rights and refuse to be mistreated and become servants of their 'ladley' khawandhs is actually a good thing. I am not even talking about the ones who are abused severely.
my mother in law was treated very badly, she tells me stories and I think why did u put up with it, many factors, such as having children and the so called shame made her stay.......but I have heard exact same stories with girls of today and they have said 'see ya'!
women dont get married to get mistreated and as for the debate on islam and divorce, it can go on forever.....but im sure women who get dovirced dont make this decision overnight.
what i dont get is y so many love marriages between our desis abroad r ending up in divorce..didnt they knoiw eachother and everything situation wise b4 they got in2 wedlock?
what i dont get is y so many love marriages between our desis abroad r ending up in divorce..didnt they knoiw eachother and everything situation wise b4 they got in2 wedlock?
Kids in love are not necessarily aware of the demands of marriage. And some aren't ready to behave in a mature manner to work toward a good marriage.
Someone I know stayed married despite the fact that her husband and inlaws never let her out of the house without special permission, even to see her own family who lived ten minutes away. Visits from the outside were also strictly regulated. She was not even allowed to see her father when he was dying, eventhough she lived so close to him.
She didn't want a divorce because once she realized how bad it really was, she had kids, and she didn't to destroy her home or hurt her family. She has a lot of patience.
Now things have changed. No one knows specifically why, but there are theories. Anyway, they come and go pretty much as they please now and there's a much happier relationship, though still a little formality sometimes. Overall, things are good thanks to Allah.
well thats good!..a positive ending..her 'sabr' payed off..:)
oh and u girlz remember int eh other thread i talked about this girl i knew who got married and her inlaws made her wear hijab well now she has to wear a full burqa when she goes outside plus she has a kid plus her husband doesnt do naything except look pretty and smile plus she works plus she has to live in the same hosue as his 7 brothers..so i guess some women abroad really want to make it work..even if it calls for total life change!
Re: are there too many..
I think this can be same as asking.. "are there too many bad news stories out there"..
the reason it might seem that a lot more ppl are getting divorced is:
1. Bad news spreads faster, it attracts more ears and ppl like to talk about bad news in general.
2. Good relationships, just like good news tends to go unnoticed since that is just a norm and nothing out of ordinary.
For example, if there was a house two blocks down your house where a couple lived who never created noise about their fights then the chances of you knwing about it will be low. But on the other hand, if the same couple make a lot of "noise", it will be on ur radar quicker..
Its like saying: "if a tree falls in a jungle in the middle of no-where would it still make sound?"
think positive, act positive.
Someone I know stayed married despite the fact that her husband and inlaws never let her out of the house without special permission, even to see her own family who lived ten minutes away. Visits from the outside were also strictly regulated. She was not even allowed to see her father when he was dying, eventhough she lived so close to him.
** She didn't want a divorce because once she realized how bad it really was, she had kids, and she didn't to destroy her home or hurt her family. She has a lot of patience.**
Now things have changed. No one knows specifically why, but there are theories. Anyway, they come and go pretty much as they please now and there's a much happier relationship, though still a little formality sometimes. Overall, things are good thanks to Allah.
Maybe if she had realized that 'before' she had kids, she wouldn't have had to sacrifice her life.
If things werent bad for her in the beginning (since you said it wasnt enough for her to realize it was bad), and they were for a short time afterwards (since you said its over now, and things worked out for her), I guess she doesnt fit into our discussion, because it seems like it was just the temporary ups and downs of a marriage that she was facing.
Kids in love are not necessarily aware of the demands of marriage. And some aren't ready to behave in a mature manner to work toward a good marriage.
Maybe not kids, but adults are. Its still better than forcing two strangers, adults or kids into something that may or may not work. I am not against arranged marriages in Pakistan, but it wont work out that wonderfully here with assimilation of the culture here, and at least there should be a fair bit of acquaintance and approval seeking before its tried, if its so necessary.
Maybe if she had realized that 'before' she had kids, she wouldn't have had to sacrifice her life.
If things werent bad for her in the beginning (since you said it wasnt enough for her to realize it was bad), and they were for a short time afterwards (since you said its over now, and things worked out for her), I guess she doesnt fit into our discussion, because it seems like it was just the temporary ups and downs of a marriage that she was facing.
well if it was just the temporary ups and downs of a marriage she was facing then she didnt really sacrifice her life as u mentioned..now did she?