One of the things we decided as parents is to love our children unconditionally, we do and give whatever we can without expecting anything in return, we don’t go look at how much time, energy and money we spend on you, and look your mommy carried you in her womb for 9 mons and breast fed you for two years, and look we are saving for your college etc. We had them as it is a pleasure and privilege to raise them, not because we want someone to care for us in our old age. I am seeing on the threads that parents are demanding we did this for you now you should return the favor and are not generally interested in the offsprings families well being, Parents who are abusing the mother of your children are generally not showing concern for the well being of the family, as a distressed mother cannot focus on raising the kids properly.
I feel that we should excercise and eat healthy so that we can enjoy a good life when we are old and develop social skills and friendships so that we do not have to cling to our children and suck life out of them. also we need to manage finances so we are not financially dependent in our old age.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
I think most parents do love their children unconditionally. I agree with you that it's wrong for parents to emotionally blackmail their children. However, I think children should show a bit of gratitude, especially if their parents went above and beyond to raise them and faced great difficulties doing so.
I also think that parents who raise their children to be responsible, caring, and compassionate human beings, and instill these qualities by example don't have to worry about their children looking after them in their old age as they will be inclined to do this based on their upbringing and the example their parents gave them. However, if parents selfishly manipulate and emotionally blackmail their children without regard for their well being and set this type of example for their children, then they must start worrying about what will become of them in their old age. Children learn by example and people that are raised thinking that it's quite alright to behave selfishly and blackmail to get what you want often aren't very compassionate or considerate of others, especially when said others are no longer "useful" to them.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
I feel that we should excercise and eat healthy so that we can enjoy a good life when we are old and develop social skills and friendships so that we do not have to cling to our children and suck life out of them. also we need to manage finances so we are not financially dependent in our old age.
What are your views on this.
i agree with you. im not a parent but when i become one, it wont be so that i can have some take care of me. i dont get this mentality either. i agree wiht the above poster who said parents should raise children so they are compassionate and will do this themselves without having to tell them.
unfortunately, people have children so that they are 'burhaapay ka sahara', especially the boys. girls, are pretty much just 'bojh' that needs to be handed over to someone else.
my parents try to be as independent as they can, and they like their own privacy. I dont get why some people think its healthy to cling on to your children forever.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
taali do haathoN se bajti hai. donoN ke apne apne Huqooq haiN. aulaad ke liye Qur'aan meN Hulm aayaa hai k unke saath Husn e sulook se pesh aao bil_Khusoos jab vo apnii 'umroN ko pahoNcheN. kisii aur rishte ke liye Hukm nahiiN aayaa...aur rishtoN ke liye talqeen aayii hai.
vaalidai'n ko apnii aulaad ke taiiN shafqat aur tarbiyat laazim o malzoom hai magar aulaad ko apne vaalidai'n ke taiiN Husn e sulook karne kaa Hukm aayaa hai.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
I don't support the unjust transgression of the rights of other relations. The desire for reciprocation is within human nature. It is natural for all of us to desire/expect a reciprocation of consideration from our children, spouses, siblings, friends, etc etc. That said, it's unreasonable to think that parents should expect no return at all. What sets our parents apart from other relations is that they have a much greater tolerance level for both the unintentional and deliberate disregard we show them; it generally does not culminate to them severing ties or disowning us.
Parents are imperfect human beings and that makes their love imperfect, but it's probably the only love among human relationships that comes pretty darn close to being unconditional. Even their anger and disapproval usually stems from a place of love and concern for your well-being which cannot always be said for other relations. The depth of the love our parents have for us should naturally incline us to want to support them to the best of our ability....rather than making us think that "They shouldn't have raised us with the expectation of any return from us." And if anyone is going to argue with me by giving examples of parents who impose marriages and what not...then refer back to the very first sentence of my post.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
One of the things we decided as parents is to love our children unconditionally, we do and give whatever we can without expecting anything in return, we don't go look at how much time, energy and money we spend on you, and look your mommy carried you in her womb for 9 mons
I feel that we should excercise and eat healthy so that we can enjoy a good life when we are old and develop social skills and friendships so that we do not have to cling to our children and suck life out of them. also we need to manage finances so we are not financially dependent in our old age.
What are your views on this.
no that is called mother nature.
excersise it good.
no need to go rambo on children. if you work out, stay social and fit and working. You can prolong that good warm
relation ship with children, where chidern get be children even when they have their own children.
You get to enjoy children and grand children while being independent.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
I think most parents do love their children unconditionally. I agree with you that it's wrong for parents to emotionally blackmail their children. However, I think children should show a bit of gratitude, especially if their parents went above and beyond to raise them and faced great difficulties doing so.
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lot easier said than done, this has to be conscious decision and we have to remind ourselves of this on a daily basis, I have checked myself on many occassions when I thought that I was not acting in a selfless manner, I had to talk to my partner when I thougt she was showing more affection to the youngest as he is a lot more affectionate than the older, I have seen it over and over when parents favor the child that they are able to control.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
WTH ??? What you are calling sucking life out of kids I call it owning their kids . . . and yea my parents can sux as much as life they want to out of me and I won't mind . And doesn't matter how much social skills and eat healthy thing you do, you'll still get old and weak and dependent . Its called mother nature .
There is a reason why Quraan tell us again and again that don't be a jerk and ignore your parents when they are old . But no we decided to stay dumb as a duck . Jeez.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
WTH ??? What you are calling sucking life out of kids I call it owning their kids . . . and yea my parents can sux as much as life they want to out of me and I won't mind . And doesn't matter how much social skills and eat healthy thing you do, you'll still get old and weak and dependent . Its called mother nature .
There is a reason why Quraan tell us again and again that don't be a jerk and ignore your parents when they are old . But no we decided to stay dumb as a duck . Jeez.
Not everyone is as religous as you are. So stop shoving your religiosity down everyone's throat.
/Resident Liberal Mode
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
So kids can cling to us and suck life out of us during our best days but we shouldn’t return the favor? I veto that!! I’m so going to be the clingy-don’t-let-them-breath-mommy
