Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
It's never going to be straight forward when it comes to families. Parents raise their kids as they see fit, some do a better job of it than others, some kids grow up to be decent well adjusted citizens, others grow up screwed up!
For me personally I wouldn't see it as a burden having to look after my parents in their old age. We don't always see eye-to-eye, I disagree with my parents on a lot of things but they are still my parents. Yes it'll be hard to make time for them when you're busy with work or focusing on your own kids. It'll be hard but it'll never be impossible.
My parents left Pakistan and moved to the UK to provide a better life for their kids. I know they found it difficult to adjust to their new lives and new surroundings. They found it difficult being thousands of miles away from their own families. My Mother suffered from depression for a while because of it. Yet they stayed because they felt it was the best thing for their kids. They sacrificed their own happiness for their kids.
One day they'll be too old to look after themselves, their health will decline. One day that will happen to all of us. When they reach that age I'll see it as my duty to look after them, not because that's what Islam teaches us or because that's what's expected of me. I'll do it because they're my parents and no matter how many times they drive me crazy, I'll never stop loving them.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
WTH ??? What you are calling sucking life out of kids I call it owning their kids . . . and yea my parents can sux as much as life they want to out of me and I won't mind . And doesn't matter how much social skills and eat healthy thing you do, you'll still get old and weak and dependent . Its called mother nature .
There is a reason why Quraan tell us again and again that don't be a jerk and ignore your parents when they are old . But no we decided to stay dumb as a duck . Jeez.
Hmmm...owning the kids, that is kind of way north of even the extreme views I have heard, okay than you are not in for unconditional love, it is more like a trade..it goes something like this. "Munnoo choori kha baita, yaad rakhna haar niwala sood ke saath wasooloongi tum se aur tumari Beewii sai."
So when the muslims went on conquests to Constantinople and India and stuff, did mommy deard piggy back with them. Sometimes they were gone for years and sometimes, they just settled in a foreign land.
I have seen 80 plus people hop around like spring chicken, even some in 90s are still living independently, so if you are say well in the 80s and need care, you had an amazing and fullfilling life thus far what is wrong in spending some time in a care facility, make some friends there and die with dignity without raising a storm and incessant whining.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
It's never going to be straight forward when it comes to families. Parents raise their kids as they see fit, some do a better job of it than others, some kids grow up to be decent well adjusted citizens, others grow up screwed up!
For me personally I wouldn't see it as a burden having to look after my parents in their old age. We don't always see eye-to-eye, I disagree with my parents on a lot of things but they are still my parents. Yes it'll be hard to make time for them when you're busy with work or focusing on your own kids. It'll be hard but it'll never be impossible.
My parents left Pakistan and moved to the UK to provide a better life for their kids. I know they found it difficult to adjust to their new lives and new surroundings. They found it difficult being thousands of miles away from their own families. My Mother suffered from depression for a while because of it. Yet they stayed because they felt it was the best thing for their kids. They sacrificed their own happiness for their kids.
One day they'll be too old to look after themselves, their health will decline. One day that will happen to all of us. When they reach that age I'll see it as my duty to look after them, not because that's what Islam teaches us or because that's what's expected of me. I'll do it because they're my parents and no matter how many times they drive me crazy, I'll never stop loving them.
I really respect your views and your parents are lucky to have you, but I doubt if the third generation will have the same values, for me I am going to raise them without having expectations of them, Seeing them happy and thrive is reward enough, It is about propagation of life, I would have lived a fullfilling life, why take away from the time they would need to devote to thier kids. In my circle grand parents are contributing in raising the kids, not sucking out the energy from parents, they drive them to sports, baby sit them, pick them from school and so on. I plan to contribute even in old age,
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
Hmmm...owning the kids, that is kind of way north of even the extreme views I have heard, okay than you are not in for unconditional love, it is more like a trade..it goes something like this. "Munnoo choori kha baita, yaad rakhna haar niwala sood ke saath wasooloongi tum se aur tumari Beewii sai."
So when the muslims went on conquests to Constantinople and India and stuff, did mommy deard piggy back with them. Sometimes they were gone for years and sometimes, they just settled in a foreign land.
I have seen 80 plus people hop around like spring chicken, even some in 90s are still living independently, so if you are say well in the 80s and need care, you had an amazing and fullfilling life thus far what is wrong in spending some time in a care facility, make some friends there and die with dignity without raising a storm and incessant whining.
Bro. all I am saying that parents shouldn't be burden on us and neither for our kids . There isn't any matter of unconditionality in love , its just matter of common sense . At least I am hopeful about our current and next generation .
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
I have seen 80 plus people hop around like spring chicken, even some in 90s are still living independently*,* so if you are say well in the 80s and need care, you had an amazing and fullfilling life thus far **what is wrong in spending some time in a care facility, make some friends there **and die with dignity without raising a storm and incessant whining.
the entire para is booolcheeeeeeet. You should know this.
And yes if by 80 you are able to hop around like a spring chicken or frog or hurtle around like a bull shown a red rag then dont forget to pm me your pictures.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
the entire para is booolcheeeeeeet. You should know this.
And yes if by 80 you are able to hop around like a spring chicken or frog or hurtle around like a bull shown a red rag then dont forget to pm me your pictures.
Good day
my father in law is 76, loves his independence, living happily with my MIL in their own house. every winter, they goto to Florida for 2 months, have a condo there as well. they just came back from spending a few weeks in Naples, Italy in the country side with their friends. They are really living it up, we have a much more dull life compared to theirs. there is no way he wants any of his kids to move in with them, unless one of them had no place else to live. as long as you're healthy and you have a spouse to keep you company, there's nothing wrong in living separately from your kids. on the other hand, if one parent is widowed and all alone or having health problems, that's a different story.
age is just a number, the older you think you are, the older you will feel. unfortunately, many people feel old at just 60!
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
Bro. all I am saying that parents shouldn't be burden on us and neither for our kids . There isn't any matter of unconditionality in love , its just matter of common sense . At least I am hopeful about our current and next generation .
My point is not that they wouldn't want to, I am saying that I wouldn't want them to. This is how I am planning with my finances, social life and my relatioship with my significant other.
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
When was the last time you ran a marathon, It is always the negative people that no one can stand end up invoking the parental rights and cling on to kids because no one else will talk to them.
Each year since 2008, the number of seniors running the Vancouver half- and full-marathon has increased, nearly doubling for both septuagenarian men and women. To “recognize and reward” these competitors, the BMO Vancouver Marathon introduced new age categories for the 2013 race. Runners aged 70 and over were previously grouped in one running class but will now be grouped by five-year increments from 76-80, 81-85, 86-90, 91-95 and 96-100. Eleven women and 40 men registered for the 70-and-over age group in 2008, and the numbers increased every year since. In 2012, 36 women and 74 men in that category ran the 41st installment of the scenic Vancouver race.Senior runners are an inspiration for all racers, said Charlene Krepiakevich, the executive director of the Vancouver International Marathon Society. “We really wanted to distinguish their achievements and continue to encourage all runners to keep a healthy lifestyle.” - See more at: BMO Vancouver Marathon chases senior runners with new age categories - Vancouver Courier
Re: Are parents supposed to love their kids unconditionally.
the more physically active you are, the more independent you wish to be. My inlaws are healthy but that doesn’t mean they have no health problems. my FIL has had cardiac stents, takes a ton of meds for his heart, MIL has diabetes, and she’s a breast cancer survivor. They still manage to live a very active fun life. FIL still goes hunting in Pennsylvania and upstate NY which is quite a drive from here. 2 years ago, my FIL drove from NY to Florida(more than 12 hour drive i believe). nothing older people cant do. ofcourse they love their kids and love spending time with all of them, but they also like having their own lives.