Re: Are pairs really made in heaven?
LOL, if it's a good marriage, people call it a match made in heaven........but what about when it's not?
Well are you guys saying that whatever Allah decides for us has to be something good? I don't think so cuz these can be our tests. Also Allah decides when and where we are born and that is not always the best for us.
Re: Are pairs really made in heaven?
If it is written already, then it means it's already been decided right? You just changed your words, not the meaning.
I'm a Muslim. I myself believe that Allah knows everything that is going to happen, but we still have free will. It's better not to debate this at all because it's a paradox that *our feeble minds can not comprehend. *:)
Well the time of your birth, death and the family you would be marrying into are predecided. But 'dua' can change destiny. we know that as well :)
Allah knows everything but he too has given us the power to do things the way we want. It indeed is a paradox our minds might not be able to interpret. :)
And as for bad men being for bad women and vice versa. That too holds true. But let's take it this way.
Not every 'good' man/woman is flawless or an angel. Neither a bad person is born evil. Even Iblees was once amongs Allah's obedient. Maybe they were really bad sometime in their life before. and may be the person they marry is a total jerk ..and maybe this is a temporary testing time and that person eventually becomes good later on. And maybe this is the reason we need to ask for keeping us on Siraat-e-mustaqeem (the right path) Ayat of Surah Fatiha that we recite in every Namaz !
See this is very very intricate - but if you do think about it, it makes sense. We can't judge a person's piety or being evil on his current behavior...people transform their circumstances change .. maybe the
good are for good is judged over a period of time - maybe the whole life. There is always room for forgiveness for us by Allah !
:)
Re: Are pairs really made in heaven?
If matches were made in heavens then there would be no divorces or family disputes.
matches are decided above in the heavens ..but they are sadly just a pair of Earthlings with all sorts of drama the zalim samaj, the evil saas and alot more stuff on the platter which makes them "the not so heavenly matches living on Earth' :D
And if things were supposed to be heavenly ..what was the point of hereafter :)
Re: Are pairs really made in heaven?
Well the time of your birth, death and the family you would be marrying into are predecided. But 'dua' can change destiny. we know that as well :)
Allah knows everything but he too has given us the power to do things the way we want. It indeed is a paradox our minds might not be able to interpret. :)
And as for bad men being for bad women and vice versa. That too holds true. But let's take it this way.
Not every 'good' man/woman is flawless or an angel. Neither a bad person is born evil. Even Iblees was once amongs Allah's obedient. Maybe they were really bad sometime in their life before. and may be the person they marry is a total jerk ..and maybe this is a temporary testing time and that person eventually becomes good later on. And maybe this is the reason we need to ask for keeping us on Siraat-e-mustaqeem (the right path) Ayat of Surah Fatiha that we recite in every Namaz !
See this is very very intricate - but if you do think about it, it makes sense. We can't judge a person's piety or being evil on his current behavior...people transform their circumstances change .. maybe the
good are for good is judged over a period of time - maybe the whole life. There is always room for forgiveness for us by Allah !
:)
Wow, I wl take my time to absorb all this. This is very confusing.
Nobody yet has been able to find me a quote from Quran which does say that our life partner is also destined for us or not. Now about dua, yes we know it can change things but till what extent is my query. Hmm.
And if things were supposed to be heavenly ..what was the point of hereafter :)
Exactly my point.
Re: Are pairs really made in heaven?
Well are you guys saying that whatever Allah decides for us has to be something good? I don't think so cuz these can be our tests. Also Allah decides when and where we are born and that is not always the best for us.
Look, I don't know if marriage is one of the things that Allah has already predestined for us without any wiggle room. There are various theories on predestination and ONE of them is that Allah presents us with various paths and options....and we have freedom/free will in choosing a certain path.....and then Allah already knows what will happen as a result of that choice. I kinda like that interpretation.
And according to some ahadith...some things are not completely fixed. For example, one hadith says that you can increase your life through doing good deeds and maintaining ties with your kin.
Also,.......while divorce is the least liked of all the things made permissible by Allah.......I would have to say Alhumdolillah that we have divorce as an option when a marriage is so dysfunctional beyond repair that it is destroying one's health and family. Islam does not support the jaahil notion that "Oh I married this loser who treats me like ****...it was Allah ki marzi....and therefore I must stay in this toxic union for the rest of my life." I think that the view that marriages are made in heaven......some people might even twist it to mean (due to the word "heaven") that there's no way out. Unfortunately desi soceity's reaction to divorce (especially when it comes to women) don't help the situation.
There was a time when I wondered if marriages were among the the things that Allah has predetermined......now I don't dwell on it so much. I think it's just better to be responsible and do your part (investigate the rishta, get to know the person)....pick and chose your battles (sometimes a situation can be what you choose to make it).....and if things are that bad, understand that it's not permanent. There are some things such as one's sanity, health, safety that can't be compromised on.
Re: Are pairs really made in heaven?
Wow, I wl take my time to absorb all this. This is very confusing.
Nobody yet has been able to find me a quote from Quran which does say that our life partner is also destined for us or not. Now about dua, yes we know it can change things but till what extent is my query. Hmm.
Exactly my point.
that too is very situational. Dua can change destiny but too what extent and what kind of duas get accepted - that too is something we can't predict.
Re: Are pairs really made in heaven?
And one can contemplate upon this question of whether marriages are made in heaven for hours.........but I doubt that you'd even find an exact answer. For some questions/topics........even the scholars vary in their beliefs. And besides.....even couples in overall happy/healthy marriages....will have their days when they wonder if they married the right person or they might wish they were single, etc.
Re: Are pairs really made in heaven?
Look, I don't know if marriage is one of the things that Allah has already predestined for us without any wiggle room. There are various theories on predestination and ONE of them is that Allah presents us with various paths and options....and we have freedom/free will in choosing a certain path.....and then Allah already knows what will happen as a result of that choice. I kinda like that interpretation.
And according to some ahadith...some things are not completely fixed. For example, one hadith says that you can increase your life through doing good deeds and maintaining ties with your kin.
1) When i say pairs are made in heaven, i only meant to ask if who we marry is decided by Allah or is it our freewill? There is no conflict in my mind that Allah has preknowledge of everything but is it only restricted to preknowledge or its his will at work.
2) I don't think even if it's Allah will that means we have to keep up with a bad marriage otherwise why would he give the option for divorce. This life is a test and we have to choose and select things according to our best judgement.
3) Now you brought another query up for debate/discussion/research about our imals having an affect on how much we live. Hmmm.
that too is very situational. Dua can change destiny but too what extent and what kind of duas get accepted - that too is something we can't predict.
Yup. I believe if my dua is not something that may necessairly be good for me or it may be something bad for somebody else then it may affect it. Like it is said that Allah listens to all the duas and accepts only what he knows is good for you. But then some also say be sure of what you pray for cuz that might get you in trouble. Arghhh so confusing brain freeze. Lols.
Re: Are pairs really made in heaven?
yes they are. i believe so :k: